For many years I worked with teenagers and at times a young man would get himself in trouble for something done outside of school. At this point he would learn what I call my “rule of five.” The five people closest to you most impact the person you become. 
This does not change for us as adults. Leadership expert John Maxwell describes The Law of The Inner Circle in his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership which I facilitate masterminds and workshops around. This law states:
“A leader’s potential is determined by those closest to him.”
People around us influence us either consciously or unconsciously therefore those closest to us matter. The reality with these people is that they can affect the momentum of what we are moving toward in one of three ways.
Negative
Some people create negative momentum from a lack of skill or knowledge. Because of the time required to train and equip these people the movement can slow. Slowing down to train ultimately will be a positive if the individual continues to grow and develop.
At times this negative momentum can be permanent and a major way those closest to us become negative influences is by their attitude. As leaders if we surround ourselves with people who are negative it will slow our momentum. Remember, we need people who will speak truth and help us see a different perspective, but if they have a bad attitude across all areas of their life the relationship may need to be evaluated and adjusted.
Indifferent
In his book Relentless (warning this book can be a little raw if you do read it) Tim Grover the personal strength coach for basketball legends Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and others says:
“Being relentless means never being satisfied.
It means creating new goals every time you reach your personal best.”
This mindset is essential to accomplish any worthwhile vision and if leaders surround themselves with individuals who are satisfied and indifferent it can be a virus. Just as negativity can be caught from those closest to us so can apathy and indifference. Indifferent people will encourage us to play it safe and to accomplish a worthwhile goal we must take risks. Evaluate your inner circle and determine if you have any indifferent people too close to you.
Positive
These people are the best people to have in our inner circle. The positive influencers are NOT “yes people.” They are people who believe in us and in what we are moving toward. They will come alongside us and help us move the vision forward whether as a thinking partner or working alongside you. These individuals will encourage us and give us perspective when we are down. Powerful positive people see the struggle of pursuing the vision but will allow you to borrow their belief and continue to help drive you forward when you are weary.
Who are the five people closest to you? Which category do they fit in? Sometimes we invest in having these influencers in our lives and sometimes they just appear. If you need help thinking into this or want to think into intentionally creating this inner circle then let’s talk. Remember the five people closest to us most impact the person we become. Choose them wisely. Lead well.
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