My wife and I have three young energetic boys running around the house and neighborhood. Just like you, I have multiple people and responsibilities simultaneously pulling at me. As I think of when my children were real young I think about playgrounds. Some playgrounds were relaxing while others were not. What was the difference?
Where we live there is one playground/park that was about three stories tall and had long slides and lots to climb on. Not only that, but there was a creek nearby that at times got quite high and a large grassy field that bumped up next to a busy road. When the boys were early elementary age and younger this area stressed me out and I was constantly looking around and trying to know where the boys were. On the other hand, when I went to the boys’ elementary school with them there was a playground with a fence around it and I could sit on a bench and watch them play or push them on a swing. The latter was the relaxing one, or at least less stressful, because it had boundaries the boys could not escape.
As I think of the playground or park illustration it reminds me of a need we have in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. We have a certain amount we can handle and as leaders when we provide expectations that helps set the boundaries. Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend state in their book Boundaries:
“You need to realize how much time and energy you have, and manage your work accordingly. Know what you can do and when you can do it, and say no to everything else. Learn to know your limits and enforce them.”
If you lead a team or organization then clearly established boundaries will help those you lead perform at a higher level. With the playground a child knows they can go and explore and use all their creativity anywhere on the playground, but they must not go past the fence because it exists for their safety. As a caveat I am not talking about times we need to go beyond the boundaries of comfort in order to grow. I am referring to the boundaries that clarify our expectations and individual limits.
When leading a team, if they know clearly what outcome is expected a healthy leader who does not feel the need to micromanage will allow individuals to use their personal strengths and creativity to decide the best process to accomplish the goal. Similar to a teacher on a school playground, the leader may monitor and check in to see if the team needs any assistance during the process, but not tell them every step. The leader has a responsibility to understand whether the expectations are reasonable based on available time and the scope of work needed.
How are you at establishing boundaries? Do you have clarity on what you expect of those you lead? If not, what do you need to do in order to gain that clarity? Do you need to intentionally carve out time for those areas of your life you have been neglecting such as your health or family relationships? Take time and reflect on these to become a better leader today.
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