I was sitting at my desk one morning and I noticed a gift I had been given for my 30th birthday (which was a while ago now). In it there are pictures of my oldest two boys when they were under five years old. I was thumbing through this small booklet and I came across a picture where I have them both in my arms while I smile at the camera.
I was overwhelmed. The responsibility of being a father is quite heavy. I understand why some men check out in the beginning, part way through or at some stage. This burden can be overwhelming when I look in the mirror and see my many faults. I lose my temper, I am very impatient (darn type A personality with a little “D” mixed in), I rarely do things right and this is just a few of my most visible faults. I am sure if you asked my kids or spouse they could create a longer list.
The burden is heavy, but I am the one who must carry it. Here is the thing (warning this is going to get a little deep), I know there is One who is bigger and can carry me as I carry this burden. I know I am in process and continually growing and my role as a father is twofold:
- Be daily plugged into The Source of my unlimited potential.
- Love these boys and my spouse unconditionally to the best of my ability as I am plugged into The Source.
I also know this. I need a community around me helping me. My independent stubbornness can be my worst enemy. I don’t know it all and I need other people with similar values and purposes to speak into my life and the lives of those I love. I must continually be growing so my children understand we are all in process and I make mistakes just like them. When they see that an adult can mess up and have peace knowing he is loved by One greater than him it will be contagious.
I don’t know if you have felt this burden as a parent, but let me end by sharing a poem that has helped me when I feel overwhelmed by the burdens of life.
| Footprints in the Sand |
| One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. |
| Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. |
| In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. |
| Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, |
| other times there were one set of footprints. |
| This bothered me because I noticed |
| that during the low periods of my life, |
| when I was suffering from |
| anguish, sorrow or defeat, |
| I could see only one set of footprints. |
| So I said to the Lord, |
| “You promised me Lord, |
| that if I followed you, |
| you would walk with me always. |
| But I have noticed that during |
| the most trying periods of my life |
| there have only been one |
| set of footprints in the sand. |
| Why, when I needed you most, |
| you have not been there for me?” |
| The Lord replied, |
| “The times when you have |
| seen only one set of footprints, |
| is when I carried you.” |
| Mary Stevenson |
| Copyright © 1984 Mary Stevenson, from original 1936 text, All rights reserved |
I am not sure where you are in your journey of faith and my intention is not to force my belief on you. I am simply sharing my journey in leading at home. If you don’t have someone larger to lean on who will never change and sees the whole picture, why not? What community do you have? Know that He is waiting for you and will carry you even when you feel like no one is there. Keep leading at home . . . or start if you haven’t. Be connected to The Source and He will help you become the dad you were created to be. We’ll stumble and fall, but He will carry us through. We are in process and we have what it takes with Him. Lead Well.
© 2019 Wheeler Coaching, All Rights Reserved
