I was standing in front of a class of High School Freshmen and Sophomores. I asked one question: do you think you are a leader? A few hands went up. Some of them were bold and confident while others were hesitant and unsure. The majority kept their hands down. I then shared a story with these young men and women.
When I was a teenager I sat next to a random group of guys my Junior year. One day we were talking, well I was listening, and this individual shared his story of evading a police officer to get a ticket. The story was entertaining and I will spare you all the details, but later it must have been subconsciously in my mind.
I was driving out of my neighborhood in my parents 80’s Cutlass Calais . . . which is not known for speed like my friends car was. I was going about 40 MPH in a 25 MPH zone when I saw a police officer. Like a smart teenager at the time as I saw him turn around I slammed on the gas whipping through neighborhoods, as fast as a car that peaks at about 100 MPH can. Eventually it dawns on me that I am not going to get away and I pull over.
As I shared that story with the students I brought to their attention the reality that I was being led by the people at my table. How? Influence. Leadership is influence and we are leading people we live with, work with, and have fun with every day whether we know it or not.
I don’t know about you, but many times I feel like I am not influencing anyone and at other times . . . like when I see my children act out negative behavior . . . I question whether I am using my influence well. What are ways we use our influence? Here are a few to consider:
- Work habits – those closest to us at work and home see how we work and if we procrastinate or get our responsibilities completed in a timely fashion. If we are a formal or informal leader to them then we influence the kind of work habits they develop or will demonstrate.
- People habits – as a parent I see my poor influence on handling conflict. I am a bit impatient and tend to raise my voice instead of remaining calm when the tension rises between siblings. As these boys have aged I see they have caught that and they tend to raise their voices at each other and escalate conflict instead of deescalating it. Maybe if I learn how to remain calm it will influence them.
- Time habits – at work do the people around me see an appropriate balance between work and personal life? Do people see that I am productive and manage my time in a way that gets results while leaving room for building relationships? At home do we run from activity to activity or is there intentional down time to connect with one another which may be as simple as a regular meal together.
Whether at work or home we are always leading ourselves and others. These were just a few areas we are influencing others. Do you want to grow in your influence? Do you want to become more intentional in leading in a manner that influences others in the right direction and know you are not alone? What is one way today you can lead yourself and others in work, people and time? Let me know so I can learn from you.
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