Blog - Page 15 of 60 - Wheeler Coaching Systems

May

2022

Connecting at Work and Home Part IV

Today we come to our final style. Over the past few weeks, we have covered the different communication styles we may encounter at work or home. Some are more outgoing while others are more reserved.

This personality style can confuse people at times or test their patience. Maybe you know someone who is quiet but asks lots of questions. He or she seems to be constantly analyzing and is great with details.

At times this person may be a little bit of a perfectionist. They may get a little, or a lot, stressed when things are not in order. This person may prefer to work alone and come across as a little aloof. When you need this individual to accomplish something, they get it done. On schedule, organized, and done with excellence.

Have you thought of someone you know like this? Maybe it is you.

How do we connect with this style if we do not intuitively identify with this style? Allow me to give you a few ideas.

Focus on facts. The more a person matches these traits, they will be very analytical and only want the facts
Be very neutral or professional in tone as a fun-loving approach may not work as well.
Give them lots of details. This reassures them you are organized and may answer many of their unspoken questions.
Give them time to process and evaluate the options

I mentioned this style may confuse or test your patience. This can be because they ask many questions to understand. This individual is not arguing but trying to understand. This person is not necessarily incompetent, but wants to do things right and may be clarifying expectations. Encourage the curiosity and be prepared to answer lots of questions.

If you thought of someone you interact with who has this style, how can you adjust to connect better with this person in the next twenty-four hours? If you want to learn your style go here to invest in an assessment to understand your style and get thirty pages of feedback, tips, and further reflection tools on how to connect with others based on your style.

I hope you feel a little more equipped to connect at work and home. If you want a deeper dive on this subject either personally or with your team contact me so we can discover ways I can serve you. Lead Well.

May

2022

Connecting at Work and Home Part III

The first two types of people we discussed are easier to identify because they are outgoing. This next individual can be hard to identify. Over sixty percent of the people you meet fit in this category and it’s a good thing!

If you are at a social gathering these individuals will not bring a lot of attention to themselves. They may stand in a corner sipping their drink but prefer to interact with a few people versus floating around the room. These individuals are still very sociable, but in a more reserved manner.

These are also the people that when conflict arises, they are great to help bring peace. Therefore, we should be glad over half the people we interact with have this style. If not, we would have even more fights on our hands.

So how do we best connect with this steady peacekeeper at work and home? Here are a few tips:

When talking be conscious of having a pleasant and friendly tone
If you have a naturally confrontational way of speaking or acting . . . be aware to tone it down
Let them know how much you appreciate their loyal dedication
Maintain a supportive tone
If change is coming, give them time to adjust

This type of person is a wonderful team player and quietly adds tremendous value to you at work or as a helper around the house. If you know someone like this at work or home, take time to let them know how much you appreciate them and encourage him or her in any area of strength you see. This little bit of genuine encouragement will inspire them to be even more loyal and help you to connect in a way that matters to them.

Which of these tips do you need to apply in connecting with someone you know with this style? As a person who leads change, do you need to allow more time for people to adjust since over half the people we interact with have this style? If you want to learn your style go here to invest in an assessment to understand your style and get thirty pages of feedback, tips, and further reflection tools on how to connect with others based on your style. Lead Well!

May

2022

Connecting at Work and Home Part II

Last time we talked about the difficult person that may be in our life. Maybe you have a really fun person you love to be around. The type of person who lights up the room or always has a story to tell.

This person often brings lots of energy. On the other hand, this person may constantly be forgetting something. From time to time this person may wear you out because of the amount of talking he or she does, or you love listening to this person and have to force yourself to leave so you can get some work done.

Can you picture this person?

Fun, social, positive, but may seem a bit irresponsible or just forgetful. Maybe this is you, if so thanks for all the positive energy you bring! If this is not you, how do we communicate in a way that connects with this person?

Like I said last time, we are predictably different so if you live or work with someone like this and you do not understand them try the following strategies to connect better.

Give them plenty of time to share their ideas. For some of us this is a test of our patience, but it will make them feel valued
Have fun with them when you talk. When the conversation gets a little tense, these people often respond well to being goofy to lighten the mood.
Be light on the details. This person may get bogged down by details and will probably forget many of them so keep it simple.
Know you will have to follow up with this person. None of us wants to nag, but this individual will probably need extra reminders.

We all have strengths and growth areas so help this individual be in situations where the strength in being social will bring success. They will like you even more for it and you will be connecting more with them.

Do you know someone with this style? Is it you? How can you adjust to connect better with this person the next time you interact with him or her? If you want to learn your style, go here to invest in an assessment to understand your style and get thirty pages of feedback, tips, and further reflection tools on how to connect with others based on your style. See you next time. Lead Well!

May

2022

Connecting At Work and Home Part I

Do you have to deal with a “difficult person” at work or home? Or at least you think he or she is difficult. Let me illustrate.

You are in a meeting and this person has no problem sharing his or her opinion. Maybe it feels like he or she is trying to take control all the time. This person seems to ALWAYS be playing devil’s advocate. Quite honestly, he or she is too aggressive for your liking.

This person is confident and assertive and does not like routine. They try to take charge, but it feels like there is no structure from this person. Aargh!

Are you picturing someone like this? Are YOU this person?

We are all different, but we are predictably different and over the course of the next four blog posts I want to share a tips to help you connect with these different styles. As leaders one of the most important aspects of what we do is communicate. My hope is each post will give you a few tips to help you be a better connector with those you lead at work or home. If you want to dive deeper on any of this because I am only scratching the surface, please reach out.

How can you communicate in a way that connects with this individual? Let me give you a few tips:

Be direct and brief. These people do not like the details, so get to the point.
If you need this type of person to make a decision, provide options. This reassures them that they are in control and you are not telling them what to do.
Stay focused on the result you want to accomplish. They live by the idea of “just show me the baby.” They don’t care about the process.

If you are like me, you’d rather have people adjust to your style, but great leaders at work and home adjust to connect with what is important for the other person. This is just the first part of a four-part series looking at different styles of communicating.

Do you know someone with this style? Is it you? How can you adjust to connect better with this person in the next twenty-four hours? If you want to learn your style go here to invest in an assessment to understand your style and get tips on how to connect with others based on your style. See you next time. Lead Well!

Apr

2022

Three Tips for Leading Remote Teams

I am sitting at my computer looking at the screen with many other people on the screen. Not long ago this was a unique experience, but now ZOOM is part of our vocabulary and remote work is the norm. Leading in person is challenging enough, but remote leadership can be even more difficult.

I have had the opportunity to be a part of a remote team for many years now. I never really thought of it that way because we are all part of one organization and spread out all over the world. As I have been a part of that team and watched others lead remotely, I found that if we do a few things well it helps the team connect and continue to move forward.

Communication

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

George Bernard Shaw

Nothing gets accomplished without communication. When we are part of a remote team this requires greater intentionality. I was talking to the CTO of an organization about how they do hybrid work. He said they make sure when everyone is in office on a particular day they have purposeful meetings on those days.

When leading remotely communication must be proactive and purposeful. As part of a remote team I may send an e-mail just to make sure I don’t forget to share a thought with another member. I may send a text to clarify before acting. As the leader we need to initiate communication and respond to what comes our way in a timely fashion.

One caveat on communication. Do it, but also set clear boundaries for you and your team. I would encourage some form of “office hours” so people have realistic expectations on after hours return communication. This clarification protects the overall health of team members and reduces stress. As a remote leader I encourage you to communicate more than you think you need to and discern when you need to reduce the frequency.

Clear Expectations

“Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind.”

Brene Brown

When a team is distributed we have to lead with more clarity. We can’t wander around the office like the manager in Office Space checking on people and looking over their shoulder. (Nor would I advocate that kind of leadership anyway.) Whether in person or remote an important role of the leader is to provide clarity. Expectation clarity is even more important with remote teams.

Lazlo Bock who led Google’s people functions for ten years said in an article in Harvard Business Review:

“When it comes to company direction, policies, and values, being clear is the kindest thing you can do . . . .When people know what’s happening, they can make the best choices for themselves.”¹

We want people to have autonomy and freedom especially when working remote, but we need to create clear boundaries. Just like the fence around a playground gives a child freedom to play wherever they want inside the fence, clear expectations do the same for our teams. One final idea on this. Just like we already discussed the importance of communication, give your team time to access you for questions and clarification.

Maximize Technology

On this remote team I have been a part of for several years we had to have a difficult conversation. The issue needed to be dealt with and it was going to be several months before we were with one another in person again. The leader of this conversation had us all get on ZOOM.

Why?

When we have a conversation 93% of our communication comes through our tone of voice and body language. We can remove over half of the communication cues by only having a phone conversation. Therefore we should leverage technology. When we are on a video conferencing platform we can see the other person’s facial expressions and hear their tone. This is essential especially for difficult or complicated conversations.

Another way to maximize technology is by being accessible (within boundaries). As the leader you may need to have a quick conversation that may have been a walk down the hall in person. Remotely this may be a text, instant message, FaceTime call, or phone call. Be aware of when you are reaching out to respect boundaries, but utilize technology to keep communication open and candid.

As you think into your leadership, how are you doing in these three areas? What is one action step you can take to communicate, set expectations, or leverage technology more effectively in your leadership? Need help thinking into your leadership? Contact me for a powerful coaching session to help you think into your leadership. Lead Well.

Bock, Lazslo. “5 New Rules for Leading a Hybrid Team.” Harvard Business Review. November 17, 2021.

Apr

2022

Peter’s Failure

Imagine you are eating with your closest friend and he says to you that in his time of greatest need you are going to reject him. Not just reject him, but deny you even know him.

Some friend you are. Of course you reject that idea outright and tell him “no way!”

Then the time comes. The authorities come to arrest your friend who you know is completely innocent, but you are scared. Out of sheer panic you land a punch on someone in the group that is arresting your friend.

Your friend is saddened by this because he sees no need for violence. You are infuriated though and want to protect him because you’ve been with him every day for the past three years! You have left everything to join him on his mission.

You settle down and are both sad and scared as your friend is hauled off by these guards. Carefully you sneak along and watch what happens. Your friend is spat on, slapped, and beaten almost to the point of death.

While he is on trial people recognize you as one of his friends. Out of fear you deny your relationship not once, but three times. Something happens after that third denial that reminds you what your friend said. Tears stream down your face at the realization of your failure as a friend.

The failure is not the end.

After being beaten and eventually suffering a terrible death a miracle happens. You see your friend again, but are ashamed and embarrassed. The shame does not come from your friend though. He invites you back into a relationship.

Not only does he invite you into a relationship, but gives you a purpose far bigger than you ever had. You are empowered with confidence which leads to boldness. This boldness makes you, Peter, a formidable leader in a movement that sweeps across the area and eventually the world.

What would have happened if Peter failed and quit?

What if Peter just hung it up and said “I failed, so I am a failure.”

He didn’t.

He embraced the forgiveness he was given and accepted the purpose he was entrusted with. He boldly went forth with power from a source outside himself to be a courageous leader.

Failure did not keep Peter down and neither should it you.

I don’t know where you have failed either professionally or personally, but just like Peter got up. Just like many others after him did not stay down. You are not a failure because you failed so get up leader and keep leading.

Be certain of your purpose and vision. Continue to lead imperfectly and fulfill the purpose you were entrusted with. Just as Peter’s denial was not a fatal failure, neither is yours. Whether Easter is your thing or not it is a time to remember what may seem like a fatal failure at first may be step one to an amazing purpose and victory. Lead Well.