Blog - Page 33 of 60 - Wheeler Coaching Systems

Apr

2020

Three Ways to Handle Adversity

Life is not selective. I was talking to some friends and the impact of the present global crisis varies.

Some are impacted economically . . . some are minimally impacted.

Some have family they are grateful to be with . . . and are driving them crazy.

Some people are alone and isolated in their homes fighting to stay mentally healthy.

Some are angry . . . some are scared. . . . some are content.

All have life going on.

Whether in crisis or not adversity comes through unforeseen circumstances that may impact us financially, emotionally, socially, or at a deeper level.

About a month ago I heard leadership expert John Maxwell highlight principles on dealing with adversity.¹ From my notes these are a few ideas which I hope encourage and/or challenge you today.

Perspective

John pointed out life is full of both good and bad, but we can choose our attitude. Let me illustrate this from a different perspective. Tim Grover was the personal strength coach for elite basketball players like Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant. In his book Relentless ²(NOTE: if you do read it be warned the language, etc. can be strong) he describes three types of athletes: Coolers, Closers, and Cleaners.

Another way to describe these people are good, great, and unstoppable. Kobe and Michael were the last, but why? Because they had an attitude that “it” was going to get done. Nothing was going to stop them from achieving their goals. Grover had to work harder to prevent them from overtraining than to get them to train at their highest level. These two athletes continually chose an unstoppable attitude and their results demonstrate the effect.

Thinking

You may be believe perspective and thinking are the same . . . kind of, but stick with me. John highlighted in this talk that what we focus on expands. During this time you may have heard the idea “feed your faith, starve your fears.” Where our thinking goes so goes our results.

Maybe right now money is a concern either personally or from a cashflow standpoint for your organization. If we focus our thinking on worrying “will the money come?” We are feeding worry and will eventually get ourselves stuck.

On the other hand, if we add one word: “how will the money come?” or even better change the question entirely to “what need can we meet?” We have now shifting from feeding fear and worry to feeding faith and hope. This is not easy but pay attention to which you are feeding and shift to feeding the one which will move you forward.

Action

I have heard it said that emotion is simply energy in motion. We’ve all heard and even felt the “I don’t feel like it” excuse. Have you ever tried something new and worried excessively at first only to realize it wasn’t that bad after all?

Think about it, when we learned to ride a bike, we didn’t think and have the best attitude to make it reality . . . we got on the bike. We maintained the proper perspective and thinking whenever we fell, got back on and eventually one day could ride with no hands. None of that happens unless we get in motion.

Friend, I am not sure what you are going through beyond the common struggle we all are having right now but know this. You have what it takes to lead your team, organization, family, and yourself through this. What is an adjustment you need to make today in one of these three areas? If you want me to come alongside you and your team to help process leading through adversity, contact me. Lead well!

Leading Through Adversity talk by John C. Maxwell https://youtu.be/UZp7nCLICyc
Grover, Tim S. Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable. Scribner, 2013.

Apr

2020

Persistence Like Rocky

I’m in my home office fighting to keep moving forward and stay focused while downstairs I hear my oldest son watching one of my favorite movie series. . . . Rocky. Since we couldn’t take a Spring break trip this year, he ended up on a Rocky binge over the days of Spring break.

Recently I reflected on how each of the movies offers an encouragement for self-leadership while facing adversity. I hope you find this encouraging or maybe you will go on a Rocky binge yourself. Spoiler alert: Rocky always wins in the end, but the journey is what makes the movies great.

Go the Distance

In Rocky he was selected to fight the heavyweight champion in spite of having no experience at that level. This was to be an exhibition match, but Rocky had a different thought. The night before the fight he is in his apartment expressing his self-doubt to Adrian about being able to win, but in that moment decides he will go the distance and not quit.

When leading yourself and others are you going to allow an obstacle that seems unbeatable to prevent you from giving your absolute best?

Adapt for Victory

In spite of declaring there would be no rematch Apollo Creed demands a rematch in Rocky II. This time Rocky is faced with the reality that he has to change in order to not just go the distance but have a chance for victory. Rocky had two major weaknesses: slow feet and being limited with his right hand punching. Through hours of rigorous training and perseverance he adapts as a fighter and in combination with his persistence he comes out as the new heavyweight champion by the end.

As a leader how do you need to adapt in order to accomplish the goal you are pursuing?

Overcome Defeat

Some have said remaining successful is harder than achieving it which is the battle we see in Rocky III. Balboa has money and more wins under his belt, but an extremely hungry challenger, Clubber Lang (AKA Mr. T), comes along and dethrones Rocky in three rounds. To compound this professional loss, he also loses his friend and manager Mickey. In this time of loss and great confusion along comes former heavyweight champion Apollo Creed to encourage, empower, and train Rocky.

Before Rocky is able to even think of getting back in the ring he has to overcome his personal self-doubt and break through the barrier of personal disbelief. In a powerful discussion with Adrian on the beach he leaves disbelief behind and relentlessly grows and develops himself in order to ultimately regain the championship title.

What is the limiting belief you need to confront and overcome to get back on the path of success?

Fight for Something Bigger

Rocky IV brings forward both a physically and globally gigantic challenge. The Russians had brought their champion to America to fight an exhibition match which ended with death. Rocky at this point determines he must fight the towering giant not only for personal reasons, but as a representation for his country. Balboa didn’t need to keep fighting and was retired, but this was a mission of significance. He was compelled to represent his country before the world and fight.

How do you need to shift from success to significance in your leadership? What can you do to lead yourself and others toward a greater purpose?

Hold Your Ground

Rocky V was not necessarily one of my favorite Rocky movies, but it chronicles the story of an athlete struggling to redefine himself while straining the relationships with those he loves. After he learned from the doctors his career was over, he soon meets a rising star who ultimately loses his focus on what really matters. In a critical scene at the end the star challenges Rocky to what ultimately becomes a street fight. Rocky did not want to fight, but as a matter of respect for himself and honor for his family he wins a street fight proving himself.

Now I am not saying we go have street fights as leaders. At times though we hold our ground for what is right like Rocky did. Where do you need to hold your ground and fight, not out of self-centered arrogance, but a deep understanding of what is right?

Leave a Legacy

The series ends with Rocky Balboa. At this point his wife, Adrian, is gone, his son is an adult, and he is peacefully running an Italian restaurant. The media stirs up the idea of this old Rocky fighting the present world champion. After deciding to fight, Rocky and his son have a discussion where Rocky reminds his son “It’s not how many times you get knocked down in life, but how many times you get back up.”

During this final fight of Rocky’s career he gets knocked to the mat, but remembers his words to his son and you see him slowly stand to his feet to ultimately finish the fight. What gets him back up this time . . . the legacy he wants to leave for his son . . . he must live out what he speaks.

Dear friend, what is your legacy going to be as a leader professionally, but more importantly at home and with those closest to you? Will those closest to you at home and professionally say you fought with integrity and perseverance to the end living for something of significance? Life is a battle. Keep fighting and be the leader you were created to be. Lead well.

Apr

2020

Leading Virtual Teams

I was discussing the present reality of leading virtually with a couple organizational leaders. As we talked, I realized the challenge in virtual leadership lies in leading effectively.

A leader will more often live out the idea I have heard one of my mentors Mark Cole (CEO of the John Maxwell Enterprise) mention. 10 – 80 -10.

Take ten percent of the time up front to provide clear expectations and answer questions. The next eighty percent of the time he is available for the team but gets out of the way to let them do the work. When the project is ninety percent done he reconnects for the last ten percent, asks questions, and potentially suggests ideas on how to up level the project and then they move forward.

When I look at Mark’s process, I see three clear principles we can all take away not only in leading virtually, but at any time.

Set Clear Expectations

Think of when you have been either on a work team, sports team, or any other team. When would you get frustrated? It may have been the results, but often I know I would get frustrated if the rules were changed on me or were not clear upfront. Expectations give us freedom to be creative.

When we were children at a playground there may have been a fence. The fence gave us clear expectations of where not to go, but anywhere inside we could explore, play and run. Clear expectations give your team that freedom. Give them the freedom to use their strengths and accomplish the goal to the best of their ability.

Follow up

If Mark did not perform the last ten percent, then the other ninety percent would be meaningless. Many of us have heard the idea “inspect what you expect.” When the expectations are clear up front, then asking how the project went or is going will not negatively impact the team. A good leader will hold the team accountable by following up.

In a virtual team leaders may use a phone call, a text, an e-mail, a group check-in meeting or another form of accountability. Set a reminder for yourself and follow up, but in the process make sure to follow the second part of the final principle.

Regularly Communicate and Connect by Appreciating

Malhotra et al in their article on Leading Virtual Teams discuss how technology can be used to maintain trust through regular communication. When we are present in an office together communication and even connection can be much easier, but virtually this takes intentionality.

I am part of a virtual team and in order to keep communication and expectations clear I have a regular touch point meeting with the leader I am accountable to. This leader does a fantastic job of connecting first and making me feel valued. As a task-oriented person, I tend to go right to business, but connection is key in building trust. Take time to regularly communicate, but more importantly connect with those you lead and show sincere appreciation.

The principles of leadership are similar whether virtual or in person. As leadership expert John Maxwell says . . . put people first. As you lead virtual teams maybe you need practical help on a virtual platform such as ZOOM if so go here for a few short videos I’ve created to help you lead your teams better. Keep holding your vision and lead well.

Malhotra, Arvind, et al. “Leading Virtual Teams.” Academy of Management Perspectives, vol. 21, no. 1, 2007, pp. 60–70., doi:10.5465/amp.2007.24286164.

Mar

2020

The Fog of Leading In Crisis

I hate running, but since my gym got closed I can’t really lift weights so I go running. This morning was rough. I’ve been at it for a week and once my joints get lubricated I am fine, but I could only see a few feet in front of me in the dark today.

While running I thought leading is like this . . . especially in crisis.

Next Step

While running on a familiar path I could really only see the next step. I barely could see the obstacle in front of me. As leaders in difficult times we may see only one obstacle in front of us and have to take the next step to maneuver around it or through it without getting taken out. We want to see them all, but in crisis we have to take it one at a time.

Light May Help or Hurt

While running cars coming up the road from behind enabled me to see further down the path. On the other hand, when a car was driving toward me I could see nothing. As we lead in the fog of challenge a lot coming at us may blind us, but the team behind and around us can be the light to see a little further ahead.

A Message of Hope

My battery died in the last five minutes of my run. If you run, you know there is nothing worse than listening to yourself breathe. I headed into our neighborhood park path.

Then I saw something . . .

I paused, turned around, and read what was written in chalk on the path . . .

“Once you choose hope, anything is possible.”

As leaders in difficult times people or other resources will come along our path to give us the hope to continue toward the goal.

The Sun Will Break Through

As my day continued the sun began to rise slowly burning away the fog and leading to a beautiful sun-filled day. When leading in the dark fog we may only see the next step, but as we continue moving forward and not give up eventually that fog will clear and we will end up in a brighter place.

I get it, leading in a fog in the dark stinks and you hope you don’t stumble in a fatal way. Don’t quit. The sun will break through. Take the next step and choose hope over fear. Lead Well.

Mar

2020

Are You a Carrier?

I was preparing for a Facebook Live mini workshop I did the other day and an idea came to me. This idea was reinforced as I listened to John Maxwell speak on day one of his virtual leadership summit.

We are carriers . . . all of us.

Whether at work or at home we are a carrier of a disease . . . or a cure.

In the unique reality we are experiencing this idea challenged me. Whether leading at work or at home I am carrying something.

Hope or Fear

Whether in an e-mail I send, a post I make, a blog I write or any communication I make publicly or privately what am I spreading? No matter the circumstances around us we either are a beacon of light and hope or we spread anxiety and fear. This starts with us.

What I allow in my mind and dwell on impacts if I am spreading hope or fear. When we think there is no hope we nurture and act from a fear-based mindset. On the other hand, if we see opportunity and options amidst difficulty we create soil for hope to grow.

Selfish or Generous

The soil we nurture impacts our actions. For example, if we believe resources are limited and will never return our highest concern may be ourselves and from that mindset we will act. Alternatively, if we have hope that the situation we are experiencing is temporary we will consider more than just our needs.

When operating out of generosity we seek to serve, give and help those in greater need. My wife is an amazing example of this generous mindset right now. She has gathered a group of people to partner in serving an elderly neighbor who is not well resourced by purchasing and delivering groceries. Her generosity is rooted in the soil of her selfless mindset. Nurture that soil in each of us and we will spread the same generosity and hope.

The Natural Antibodies

I am a person of faith so you can ignore this part if you want. As I listened to a faith leader recently he reminded me of what I would call the antibodies against fear.

Faith

Hope

Love

Regardless of whether you are a person of faith, as leaders at work and home we spread faith that there will be a better tomorrow. Deal hope to those who are in fear that today’s reality will not last. Extend love to those around us. As we nurture these antibodies, we create an environment that carries hope and healing instead of dis-ease and fear. It all starts in our perspective.

Can I encourage you to take captive your thoughts and ask yourself if it will bring hope or fear? Be aware of reality, but let’s point one another to hope in difficult times and lead as beacons of light to those in our workplaces, communities, and families. You are a leader, you influence, use your influence to be hope and a lighthouse in the storm. Lead well.

Mar

2020

Leading In A Stressful Home

We are behind closed doors in our house. Not because we are sick, but because we have three boys that will constantly interrupt us as we attempt to discuss a plan for the next month.

Both my wife and I work with mildly flexible schedules. Now we must navigate keeping three boys focused enough to accomplish their homework, work ourselves, and maintain a low stress home. This is what we were attempting to navigate during our conversation.

Our completely opposite personality styles became very apparent as we started the discussion. For those of you familiar with the Maxwell DISC Personality Indicator I use, I am on the exact opposite side of the spectrum. During this conversation I realized some ways I need to be a better leader for both our sake.

Maximize Each Other’s Strengths

I am a very task-oriented person. Combine that with a tendency to look at things black and white it creates tension with my relationship oriented spouse. At first this frustrated me, but when I created the structure my wife brought her strength of being able to think of the possible variables that could impact our kids.

After combining our strengths, we found a path that effectively provided both clear expectations and a plan for our children while leaving room for flexibility. In this flexibility we can adjust to each child’s unique personality.

Be Aware of Weaknesses

We both have weaknesses and one of mine is holding rigidly to the plan. By remaining aware of this, I can adjust my responses to neutralize the negative impact. In a situation that is ever changing and fluid I need to have a plan while recognizing the plan may need to be adjusted. This applies daily when raising children, but also in an ever-changing business or team environment.

You may not have the same weakness but understand yours and determine ways to neutralize it. This awareness prevents blind spots that can dramatically hinder our personal and professional leadership.

Work Together to Build a Unified Plan

While fending off interruptions from children, we recognized our individual strengths and weaknesses and then had to determine our best possible plan. Through gaining a unified agreement on our structure (with flexibility of course) and what we expect we will create a lower stress environment.

This sounds easy, but while implementing this process we will have to adjust. These same principles can be utilized at home and work. What helped this conversation the most for us was an awareness of our basic behavior styles. Had I not known our individual styles this conversation could have been much more difficult. If you want to learn your style go here or if you want to go deeper and learn your style and have a personalized debrief contact me writing DISC with debrief in the subject line at randy@wheelercoachingsystems.com and I will provide a blog reader’s discount. Keep focused, communicate often, and lead well.