Blog - Page 44 of 60 - Wheeler Coaching Systems

Dec

2018

Are You Limiting Your Potential?

Have you ever looked at a lamp and thought how it relates to your life? Strange question, I know. That is what I thought when I first learned this concept. Think of it this way. The outlet is your personal potential . . . which is unlimited. The lamp is us and the light bulb is our output, what we give to the world.

Now obviously we each have different wattage in our light bulb. Some of us are 100 watt and some of us are 40 watt . . . but we can always grow. What provides the light? Is it the lamp? Kind of. The lamp only provides light when it plugs into the source of energy . . . the outlet. What keeps us from plugging in to our potential? Our limiting beliefs.

NO LIMITS

Limiting beliefs are like walls in our lives. Imagine standing in front of a large mountain . . . you pick the mountain. It looks like there will be an awesome view when you get to the top, but the climb is daunting. In this instant our limiting beliefs about our ability to climb the mountain kick in. Let me provide a few limiting beliefs I experience in my life.

Fear

How am I going to do this? I have never done this before so what makes me think I can do it now? I am not qualified? These are all fear-based questions. How do I cure it? Author Maxwell Maltz suggests in his book The New Psycho-Cybenetics that when we constantly expose ourselves to the object of our fear it will immunize us against that fear. So are you afraid to speak in front of people, well start doing it with small groups and gradually the fear will dissipate until you can reach your dream of speaking in front of thousands.

Control

I am a recovering perfectionist and struggling control-freak. This has a few plus sides . . . maybe (my wife would probably argue with me on that). I limit myself because big dreams require teams and if I have to control everything I will not lead well and allow team members to flourish. This control freak tendency also makes me want to know every detail of the plan and make sure it goes right. How do I grow in this? I must walk through life one step of faith at a time and trust even when things don’t go the way I want, they will work out to get me where I need to be.

“I can’t”

Often I am tempted to quit because the mountain seems too big and I can’t even see the top of it. What voice will I listen to? The one the holds the vision and says “press on” or the one that says “quit, it isn’t worth it.”

DON’T QUIT

Author Napoleon Hill in his classic book Think and Grow Rich said: “Thomas Edison dreamed of a lamp that could be operated by electricity. Despite more than 10,000 failures, he stood by that dream until he made it a physical reality. Practical dreamers do not quit!”

What is the mountain you want to climb? Are you plugged in so you can grow to your full potential and shine as bright as possible? Are you plugged into the right source? Which of these limiting beliefs resonate with you? Face it head on and become the person you were created to be. Need help breaking some of those limiting beliefs? Contact me for a complimentary coaching session so I can help you reach your potential.

Dec

2018

Orchestrating Leadership

I was in a Junior High Gymnasium with hundreds of other parents packed into the stands watching our children perform the holiday concert. Fortunately I was not sweating profusely as this would have surely bothered the people around me.

As we watched this concert the band played one song that really intrigued me. The song did not necessarily pique my interest as much as watching the percussion section. This particular song was entitled “Nightmare Before Christmas.”

During the song a few percussionists ran back and forth to various styles of drums, bells, cymbals and even multiple random sound effects. I watched in amazement at how they could manage all those various roles and execute with perfect timing so the song sounded as it should. This is when it struck me that I was seeing a picture of leadership and teamwork at play.

A COMMON VISION

Just like with any group, organization, or team there has to be a common purpose everyone is working toward. In this case each individual had to contribute their part at the right time, in the right way in order to blend into the overall sound. We all know when someone makes a miscue in a concert and ends up embarrassing themselves. On the other hand, when everyone performs their role at the right time in the right way you have a beautiful symphony. As leaders we must provide the vision and the best roles for each individual.

PRACTICE

Whether we are selling a product or service, instructing a team or individual, speaking in front of a group of people, or participating in a band we have to practice. A leader’s practice comes with thinking ahead and creating a plan. Let me illustrate.

During a coaching session recently, I was discussing the vision of a specific department in an organization with a leader. Our conversation provided an opportunity for clarifying the communication of his vision to his team. This conversation was a business leader’s version of practice. Leaders must create space to think into their communication and leadership the same as band members must practice their skills.

FULFILL YOUR ROLE

What would happen if the trumpets decided they did not want to follow the music and just played whatever and whenever they wanted? The conductor would be quite mad and embarrassed. Creativity is essential, but once the vision is clear and the plan is agreed on everyone must do their part to fulfill the vision. When we fulfill our specific role and purpose to the best of our ability, we add tremendous value to the group.

What is the band you are a part of? What is the common vision you are pursuing? Is that vision clear in your mind if you are the leader or do you need to spend time thinking and clarifying it . . . kind of like practice? What is your part in the orchestra of that plan? How can you use your strengths in that role to help make the fulfillment of the vision even greater? Do you need help thinking into these questions? If so, contact me for a complimentary coaching session. In the meantime, lead well.

Dec

2018

Perspective in Holiday Self-Leadership

Are you like me during the holiday season? Life gets crazy with the expectations at work and at home, but then we pile on the holiday expectations, and sometimes they’re unrealistic. Whether it’s a pressure internally to buy gifts for lots of people which creates a financial pressure to buy beyond your budget.

Add to all this the excessive commitments to be at holiday experiences with your family, extended family or events at school. Everything’s constantly pulling at us, and it creates so much pressure! What can we do?

We all have a lot going on. Maybe one of these ideas will help you lower the expectation level and help you maintain perspective during this time.

Community. When you are around others ask questions to connect and be in genuine authentic community with others.
Solitude. Maybe you need to take some time alone as we are so busy with everything going on. One practice I implement is starting each day reading from an inspirational book. That could be a faith-based book or something else. Find something that can help you maintain perspective and dive into it.
Realistic goals and expectations. Are we expecting too much or ourselves? “I have to get the perfect gift,” we think. Chances are, this person cares more about you being present than the gift you bring.
Serve others. I know during the holiday season our family tries to help other people. In the past we’ve helped with giving gifts to families in need. During Thanksgiving time we have helped deliver meals. During Christmas we have helped wrap gifts at a community gift store. All of these help us maintain perspective.
Inexpensive fun. One tradition our family has is driving through the local Christmas light show that is right down the street. If we have time we visit the neighborhood light show with the lights flashing in connection with songs on their own music station. Either way we drive, enjoy the display, each other and it only costs a little gas money. At the same time it helps us keep perspective, connect as a family, and lower stress.
Be Kind. If you are like me you like to be in control and that can create problems. The biggest problem being when people do not do things the way we want them to. Sometimes when we let go of the need to be in control it enables us to treat others with the kindness they deserve.

I don’t know what will help you manage your perspective, and not be so flustered during this time, with all the expectations and added pressures on top of leading at work and leading at home. Which one of these can you apply to help you maintain perspective? Maybe you have something different you do that you can share. Whatever it may be, please share with me ways that you maintain perspective during this time of year. I hope you have found this helpful. Thanks for reading, and lead well in all you do.

Dec

2018

Learning From Championship Coaches

I am sitting in an office with three coaches who have collectively earned four state championships and a state runner-up in the state of Indiana. One man is the head football coach, one the head women’s soccer coach, and one the head baseball coach. Each of these three men are excellent people,but this particular day I wanted to learn from them about leading championship teams.

To summarize succinctly what each of these coaches found as their principles is a challenge, but one concept they all agreed on and chuckled about when asked about building a championship team is the need for talent. Talent was key to each of them achieving their results combined with positive family influences. This was not the magic bullet though because each of them had coached teams with a lot of talent, but did not achieve the same results.

Top Three Leadership Principles

1. Vision. Each coach had a clear vision for what they wanted for the team and a plan. Coach Wimmer’s plan looked different as a football coach and was very dependent on the support of his staff and the administrators around him because of leading such a large team. Coach Beasley helps clarify vision from day one by providing clear expectations and teaching them technical, tactical, and behavioral expectations. Coach Cherry creates a family atmosphere and attempts to determine the “right leader” who may not be the most talented. Each of these practices are informed by their clear vision.

2. Equip players. A coach, or any leader, is only successful by developing leaders around him or her. Each coach expressed this whether it was through the support of player buy-in to what they were trying to accomplish,such as creating a certain amount of intensity at practice, or encouraging the players to actively lead each other by passing down expectations verbally and through modeling. No matter the method,each coach realizes they cannot be successful without the players being leaders and driving the team more than the coach.

3. Relationships. This concept also looks different for each coach. For one coach persevering by being patient with each athlete’s growth process honors the relationship. For another staying out of the way while setting realistic expectations and communicating clearly what the player’s role is honors the relationship. For a final coach,intentionally shifting from a focus on results to a focus on people created a family atmosphere and ultimately led to his team’s success.

Leadership Tips

When I asked these three coaches for some of their final thoughts on leading a championship team they said the following stand-alone learning principles.

Use one on one coaching and individual conversations to clarify what a leader is.
You and your players must have passion for the sport and being a great team
Everyone has to be “on the same train” to create unity
Listen to the right voices as a leader and do not be distracted by the negative noise
Get out of the way and build into your people

So what about you? You want your team to excel at the highest level. Is your vision clear enough that your team knows what it is and is passionate about it? What can you do to grow your relationships with your team members and equip them? Did one of the stand-alone principles strike you as an area to work on? Whatever your action step is, do it now and build your championship team. Lead well and let me know how I can help you.

Dec

2018

How Do You See Others?

Have you ever watched people when you were at the airport? Do you create a story in your mind about the people you watch?

I do at times.

Once I was in the airport waiting for my baggage and as I looked across the carousel I saw this couple. They seemed like a happy couple who had a good marriage, but then I caught myself. I started thinking all these negative and judgmental thoughts about either one or both of them.

That is crazy! Why did I go down that road?

I have heard the idea from leadership expert John Maxwell: put a ten on everybody. If I rated them as a ten would I even go down a road of judgement? Wouldn’t I instead appreciate them and look for the good in them?

As leaders we have to be aware of how we think about others whether a prospective customer, a present client, or our fellow employees. How we think impacts our actions. If I focus only on the negative attributes then my behavior will reflect that and vice-a-versa.

When I reflected on that experience, I thought of three reasons why I engage in judgement. These same three concepts can negatively impact how we lead and influence those around us.

Jealousy. I look at the gifts others have or how they appear to have all that I want and get jealous. At times I create a story in my mind of how they got where I think they are and even get frustrated. Here is the reality. I don’t know the whole story. If I look at someone I do not know who appears to have a lifestyle I desire what I see may not be the whole reality. I don’t know their true financial picture or the health of their relationships. There is always more to the story and I must tame jealousy or it will lead me down a path of treating others in a way they do not deserve to be treated.
Self-righteousness. On the other side of jealousy I can create a story in my mind making me look better than those around me. When I think “I would never . . . “ I am acting superior than others. This attitude prevents us from connecting with others. When we fail to connect we fail to have the ability to effectively lead and influence. Influence and therefore true leadership cannot occur without connection.
Insecurity. When we first get a leadership position, we may secretly feel insecure or we demonstrate false confidence. This insecurity creates an environment for creating stories in our minds about what other people think of us. We become consumed with ourselves and fail to serve and lead those around us. As we learn to focus on others and meet their needs more than worry about what they think of us we become leaders others want to follow.

What about you? Do you ever create stories like me? If not, share with me your secret to managing your mindset. If so tune into the jealous, self-righteous, and insecure thoughts and replace them with the opposite. You are valuable and no one is like you. You have a unique set of skills and talents you bring to the world. Use them to add value to others and make a difference. Lead well.

Nov

2018

Fighting the Voice of Self-Doubt

Confession here. . . I talk to myself.

If you are honest, you know you do too. But the problems come based on the voice I listen to.

No, I am not insane, but I do fight the voice of self-doubt. . . maybe you do too or you have figured out how to neutralize it . . . or you are busy and don’t hear it or . . .

What do we do about this voice? It’s amazing isn’t it? I spend some of my time doing youth leadership training especially during The John Maxwell Team Global Youth Initiative and I talk to youth about this idea. We discuss how self-esteem impacts our leadership, but here I am many years along and it still can be a battle.

About a year ago I was at the International Maxwell Certification and listening to Seth Godin who mentioned the author Steven Pressfield so I went on Amazon, of course, and purchased one of his books.

As leaders we have to create in some form or fashion, but the voice of self-judgement creeps in and this is what Pressfield says:

“Suspending self-judgment doesn’t just mean blowing off the ‘You suck’ voice in our heads. It also means liberating ourselves from conventional expectations – from what we think our work ‘ought’ to be or ‘should’ look like.”

He continues on with the encouragement to follow your unconventional crazy heart. What does all this have to do with self-doubt? . . . . everything.

A few ideas:

Suspend the need to know how. When a crazy creative idea comes, think on it and process it with your team. Many times the need to know how gets in my way when it comes to taking risks. Sometimes we evaluate the risk/reward equation enough to make sure we aren’t being too foolish and then jump in and figure it out as we go. . . . just like when we learned how to walk. We take a few steps, stumble, fall, learn, get back up and try again.
Kill the Gremlin. One of my mentors calls this voice of self-doubt a “gremlin”. If you don’t know what a gremlin is then google it . . . and I’m not talking about the car. Once you kill the thoughts the gremlin feeds you then replace those thoughts with truth. What are you good at? What ways do you lead well? Is a “no” a rejection of you as a person or simply a “no”?
Get feedback from the right sources. When we are starting a creative new venture we want to be sure the voices we are listening to are honest, but also encouraging. These voices should not amplify the “should” and “ought” voices Pressfield talks about. These voices should be both honest and visionary to spur on your creative growth.

Leading is hard. The hardest one to lead is me. What helps you suspend the voice of judgement and doubt as you lead? Share with me. Stay connected and get my free e-book by signing up to receive updates, just click the button on the menu. Lead well today at work and home.