Leadership Blog

Apr

2017

Leading Yourself Better in Balance

Maybe you remember the dreaded geometry class when you were in high school. I know, I hated proofs. I apologize to all the math teachers, accountants and other numbers people out there, but those things seemed pointless and bordering on evil. I do remember there was such a thing as an equilateral triangle. When I think of my life I desire to have an equilateral triangle. What about you?

There are many areas to life, but three general areas I feel I am constantly juggling are the following:
1. Personal – my health and fitness, personal growth, spiritual growth, etc.
2. Professional – all the responsibilities related to my work life and development in that area
3. Family – all that relates to leading and loving my family such as providing, leading, spending time with them, etc.
Why a triangle? If you have ever tried to stand a triangle on one point it simply does not work. Go ahead try and prove me wrong (without flattening a point). Each point of the triangle is important and creates the entire object. There also must be equality on each side of the triangle or it no longer is an equilateral object. When all things are in balance life works much better. The reality is we rarely, if ever, maintain perfect balance in these three areas.
Two concepts from author Steven Covey help to evaluate how I am doing in each of these areas. In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Covey provides two critical concepts that relate to keeping the triangle equal:
1. Begin with the End in Mind – The following question comes to mind when I think of this concept: what do you want people to say about you at your funeral? When we have a clear picture of our purpose that helps us to use the time in our personal, professional, and family lives wisely.

2. Put First Things First – are we putting those things that matter least in front of those that matter most? Are we living with the end in mind? To further detail this concept Covey provides the following diagram to help us prioritize our life.

	NOT IMPORTANT	IMPORTANT
NOT URGENT	NOT URGENT & NOT IMPORTANT	NOT URGENT & IMPORTANT
URGENT	URGENT & NOT IMPORTANT	URGENT & IMPORTANT

The challenge many of us face is spending a disproportionate amount of our time in the bottom right on the urgent and important work. For example: time wasters, busy work, trivial work, etc. To create balance in each area of our lives we need to spend time in the top right on the Not Urgent and Important. Activities such as relationship building, exercise, healthy eating, planning, preventative maintenance, etc.

Living a life of intentionality and purpose takes time and effort. How are you doing at this? Do you know your purpose? What quadrant do you spend the most time in? What needs to change? Who can help you create the equilateral triangle so you aren’t constantly emphasizing only one area? Don’t try to change everything at once. Take the first step and change one habit. Build a team around you to hold you accountable and you can live a better balanced and more intentional life. Hold yourself accountable and post your first step below. Good luck!

Mar

2017

4 Team Success Principles

I work with teams on a regular basis and many of them are athletes. One day the athletes were performing a drill on an agility ladder which looks like this:

While on the ladder they had to hold a twenty-five pound weight plate (similar to below) over their head and pass it along to the next person when they reached the end of the ladder. Picture a relay race with complicated footwork and a large “baton.” The athletes were competing for a little while with some talented groups not succeeding while less talented teams did. As I watched this I paused the action and brought to their attention four principles that can help bring success:

Do your job to the best of your ability. Every person has different strengths when they are a part of a team. Just like a body has many parts that each fulfill a purpose on a team each individual fulfills their responsibility to help the team function as a single unit. As long as each individual does their best they increase the possibility for the team to have success.
Have a plan. Imagine a football team taking the field without a plan. No one will know what to do and they will not only look like a bunch of crazy people running around, but most likely they will get hurt. The coach provides that plan so they can have a path to success.
Execute the plan. Having a plan or idea is great, but if implementation never occurs it remains an unproven idea. Maybe fear prevents the team from moving forward. Fear of failure, fear of not having the “perfect” plan, fear of success or a number of other fears. Face the fear, put faith in the plan and then learn and adjust along the way.
Communication with team members. No matter what kind or how big a team is, this area can be the greatest challenge. If the plan is not clearly communicated then execution will falter. During implementation if people fail to effectively communicate then execution will be less ideal. During the relay races if both verbal and non-verbal communication was ineffective the handoff of the “baton” was delayed and slowed the entire team.

During the relays, the teams who communicated a clear plan and executed with each individual giving their best performed at a higher level than those who were ineffective in some or all of these areas.

You may not be running a relay race, but how are you doing on the team you are a part of? Are you giving your best to what you have been entrusted with? If you are the team leader, do you have a clear plan? Are you executing the plan? Are you communicating plans and informing the team well when adjustments need to be made to the plans? Take a moment to pause and reflect on where you need to grow in this area and share your plan to grow below.

Mar

2017

Four Methods for Connecting as a Leader

One of the great challenges when leading a group is knowing how to communicate clearly and effectively. Communication is an action, but connection takes a little extra effort. As a leader, you need to communicate the vision and strategy on a regular basis as well as the daily details that keep the organization moving forward.

When we communicate are we noise or are we connecting with people? Leadership expert John Maxwell says in his book Everyone Communicates, Few Connect that people want to know the answer to three questions: do you CARE for me? Can you HELP me? Can I TRUST you? If all three of these are answered with a yes then your vision will more likely be embraced and plans implemented to help fulfill the vision.

In my experience, the first hurdle to overcome is knowing what platform to use to communicate. Here are some options:

E-mail – great two way communication tool, BUT tone cannot be heard and if too much is said it can get confusing. A former boss once suggested if it takes more than two sentences, pick up the phone.
Phone – if we are talking about a verbal conversation to work out details this would be second to meeting in person, but some people will not answer the phone and it can be ineffective.
Texting – this is a great way to communicate quickly, BUT it can be quite cumbersome. Remember just like an e-mail keep it simple so the message is clear.
Social media – some people can be reached more easily via social media outlets such as Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and many other platforms. This can be potentially the best method to not just communicate with others, but connect by various methods of communication.

In order to know what the best method for being heard is, we must first know what we need to communicate. If it is simply information such as setting up a meeting or simple facts all the methods can work. If we want to inspire and connect then we need to keep it simple, but impactful.

No matter the method chosen we need to be consistent in our communication. Share the message enough that people remember the vision, product, us, etc., but not so much we are tuned out. Second, when communicating information we need a reliable method. Technology evolves quickly therefore we may use a new platform, but if neither we nor those we communicate with can rely on it, use something else.

After you have decided on how you are going to communicate ask whether or not that method will connect with those you are trying to reach. If you are trying to communicate beyond facts and inspire then determine the communication method that will best connect with others.

What is your best method of communicating with those you lead? Whatever method you use do those you lead feel connected to you? Do they feel your care, that you want to help, and that they can trust you? If not, how can you grow in this? Keep leading well and connecting well.

Mar

2017

Leading Yourself – Five Tips to Help

I don’t know how your morning works, but sometimes I do not just bounce out of bed ready to take on life. I sort of stumble out of bed give some thanks for a new day and get moving. Other days my mind whirls with all that I need to do. Some days I feel like a dark cloud is over me and I can’t keep climbing the mountain of life. No matter how I feel I have to lead myself. Quite frankly, I am the hardest person to lead.

Below are a few strategies I use to help me lead myself.

Beat the Cynic – Some mornings the hardest battle is replacing the critical negative self –talk with positive truth talk. Maybe some spiritual book you read such as the Bible or an uplifting quote will help you not dwell on the negative aspects of life.

Activate the Optimist – Unfortunately I have to train myself to be optimistic because of my personality. One practical step that helps me is remembering what I am thankful for such as my family, work, health, etc. For some people optimism is natural and easy, but if you are like me you have to be intentional about being optimistic. Maybe take time to write out a list of three specific items you are thankful for when the day begins or as you drive to work.

Slander Self-Pity – This one is very challenging for me some days. I want to wallow in my failures and over-analyze. I get this pathetic satisfaction out of being like Winnie the Pooh’s friend Eeyore constantly thinking “woe is me.” To get out of this funk I need to get active either with physical exercise or beginning the work I need to accomplish that day to move me toward my goals. Sometimes listening to positive music helps me improve my mindset or some type of talk on a podcast, CD, etc. to help me get the right frame of mind.

Lose Laziness – Laziness is the enemy of productivity, but I battle it like everyone else. Routines help me win this battle. The daily routine of creating time each morning to think and journal as I eat breakfast. This helps me activate my body and mind at the same time. As the mind gets active I begin to think about the work I need to do in order to move me toward my goals.

Cheer Yourself On – There is a phrase I use when talking with people I work with. I challenge them to “turn their own crank.” Basically I am telling them to figure out what motivates them and use that as fuel to keep them going. For example, if a quote inspires you . . . put it somewhere you will constantly see it. Maybe it is a song. . . listen to it at the beginning of the day. Maybe it is a picture that reminds you why you do what you do . . . a picture of your family, of an orphan, money, or something else that gives your life significance. Whatever positive resource helps keep you going , use it.

Author Terry Orlick in his book In Pursuit of Excellence says: “Don’t waste your emotion on things that are not within your control, that will not help your performance, or that don’t really matter in the bigger picture of your life.” So in what way do you need to improve your mental self-leadership? What strategies help you? Comment below so I can learn from you since this is a daily journey of growth for all of us.

Mar

2017

Heroic Leadership

As a leader at either home or work do you want to be a hero? Do you want your life to count for something greater than yourself? Do you see what you want to do, but also see an uphill climb?

Recently I was watching the movie Hacksaw Ridge which is the true story of a man named Desmond Doss. Desmond was a conscientious objector (he would say supporter) of World War II. He wanted to serve the country, but he had personal convictions against using a rifle. He refused to kill people in war.

As he attends his basic training, the leaders try to get rid of him. They think he is not brave and will get himself or others in his unit killed. At one point in the movie Desmond is imprisoned awaiting his court martial for failing to follow direct orders. While waiting, his fiancé comes in attempting to advise him so he doesn’t spend a great amount of time at Leavenworth imprisoned.

During this scene his fiancé suggests he just pick up the rifle and spin it around or something to appease his leaders. After this Desmond is shaken and says to her: “I don’t know how I am going to live with myself if I don’t stay true to what I believe. The question is how could you live with me? I’d never be the man I want to be in your eyes.”

In this one statement he reveals the kind of man he is.

A leader is a person who is principled and follows those principles no matter the cost. Desmond realized that if he compromised on his conviction he could not live with himself. There are critical points in each of our lives where we have to make decisions based on what we think is right and may make us appear foolish because it opposes “common sense.”

In the end he is granted permission to be a combat medic in the war at his own risk. After a day and a half of battling on Hacksaw Ridge his unit climbs back down as the navy bombards the ridge. Desmond sits atop the ridge and asks what he needs to do when he hears the cry of a man asking for a medic. As bombs explode around him providing a cover for him, Doss goes into the battlefield and rescues men and ties a rope around them to lower them to the medics at the base below.

Doss continues this process for hours, dodging bullets from the enemy after a full night of lowering one injured soldier after another. In the end he saves 75 lives through his courageous actions.

Desmond Doss was a courageous hero. Doss demonstrated the courage every leader needs to accomplish anything great. Doss knew he could save lives without shooting a rifle. In spite of great opposition in the beginning he humbly proved his tenacity, courage and grit.

Are you willing to stand up for what is right no matter the cost? Are you willing to demonstrate courage in a way that others may not expect? Maybe this will require doing something no one else will understand, but you know is right. You have it in you to be a courageous hero of a leader and that may be as simple as your actions at home or with a couple people at work. You will know when that time comes. When it does, have courage, stand your ground and do the right thing. Be a strong and courageous leader.

Feb

2017

My Failure at Emotional Self-Leadership

Years ago Daniel Goleman introduced the concept of emotional intelligence. To state it simply this is the idea of an individual being aware both of their personal emotions and the emotions of those around them. In his book Primal Leadership, Goleman describes four domains: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management. Let me illustrate this concept from my personal experience.

I am a “Type A” driven person and with that I tend to try to squeeze everything out of my time. On this particular day I was done with a haircut appointment with my three boys and I had about an hour and a half window before going to a movie with my parents and family, which is a rare experience. My wife needed me to get something from the store which was no problem because I had to run to the local printer to get something made. I figured I had plenty of time to complete the extra trip to the grocery with my trip to a local electronics store and the printer.

I am not sure how your life works, but in this instance I thought the printer stop would be fairly simple. Apparently I was wrong. I explained to the kind employee what I wanted to accomplish and he was tremendously helpful. We looked together and I watched as he tried to get multiple copies on one sheet to ultimately lower my expenses. Normally this is not a problem, but it was beginning to take too much time. I proceeded to ask him to continue working and I ran my electronics store errand and was back ten minutes later.

I am relatively calm still, but starting to become quite self-aware of my rising anxiety as the clock is ticking and I don’t want to let my family down by making us late to the movie. I return to the print shop where the employee has had success at formatting the document satisfactorily. I only have about ten minutes at this point and everything is becoming more complicated as he struggles to get the cost estimate calculated. At this point my self-management is starting to become quite visible as I gently pound my head on my wallet while he calculates everything and I am becoming visibly frustrated. Basically I am looking as mature and patient as a five year old who wants a treat from his mom or dad. When he finally calculates it the price was much higher than anticipated. At this point I know I will be late and I politely ask to save it and I will return another day.

Let me introduce another concept to you. Goleman provided a term called the “amygdala hijack” which is when our emotions take over and our rational brain even shuts down. This is exactly what happened when I entered the car, turned on the engine and drove down the highway. . . . I lost it. Let’s just say my family would not be proud of the words I was saying. As my emotions took over and I drove down the highway rushing home to be able to attend the movie on time I had just enough self-awareness to call my wife and tell her to meet me there.

Here is the problem. When we are in this intensely emotional state, and in my case very angry at the circumstance and frustrated with ourselves, we cannot lead well. We have to figure out ways to get out of this state to avoid hurting others or making bad decisions. So what did I do? I went home, shaved, changed clothes and tried to relax and settle down emotionally so I wouldn’t be a bomb exploding and the shrapnel hitting all my family and hurting them emotionally. I wish I could say I quickly calmed down, but it took time. I had to vent a little to my dad, sit and relax, choose to be patient, pray, hit a few things (not recommended) and finally just forget about it, enjoy the movie and move on.

Why do I share all this? As a parent and leader we must be self-aware and know when we need to disengage enough to prevent creating more problems by speaking when our logical mind has been hijacked. Maybe withdrawing for a moment will help, intentionally relaxing, processing with someone who will listen and is outside of the problem, or just turning your mind to something else and returning to the issue when you are calmer. Just like you, I am on this journey of trying to lead others well, but before I can lead others well I must have the capacity to lead myself well as do all of us. We must lead ourselves first, then we will be better equipped to lead those around us. What practices do you use to get yourself emotionally under control? Share below so I can learn from you.