I was talking with a friend of mine one day about work. He was very frustrated and wanted to continue to see opportunities in his job, but he felt stuck. I said, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Which of these most resonates with you: ‘this is how I am and always will be’ or ‘Up until now I’ve been this way, but I can change’?”
He paused for a moment and said, “the first one.” 
We continued our conversation and after asking his permission I explained the difference between a fixed and growth mindset. In my two phrases above the first is a fixed mindset while the second is growth. Why does this even matter?
Our mindset affects every aspect of our lives. How we approach our work, money, family, leadership of others, and most importantly leading ourselves. This foundational focus influences how we make leadership decisions. Let me explain.
Limited to Plenty
Imagine you have an uncut pie in front of you and there are fifteen people who want some. We can look at that pie and say, “there is only enough for some of us to eat the pie” or is there another way? We can see the pie and think “there is plenty for all of us to each have a slice.” This perspective influences everything.
When I’ve had a business deal not go the way I want I have a choice in that moment. Will I get depressed and think there will never be another opportunity? If so, then I will wallow in self-pity, stop moving forward and possibly get depressed. The other option is to remember there is an abundance of opportunity and take the next step forward.
Can I to How Can I
We don’t remember what we were like when we were learning to walk, but I bet we had more of a growth mindset. Think about it. We probably did not fall down and then think “can I even do this walking thing?” Of course not, we fell, cried or whined a little, and eventually got back up.
I remember watching my sons learn to walk and each wobbly step took them a little further. They fell, maybe cried or not, and then got back up exemplifying the thought “how can I?” They wanted to be like the big people around them. When we have a goal worth pursuing we find solutions instead of focusing on the problem. Growth is always saying “how can I?” and taking the next step.
Stretch to Grow
I used to be a strength and conditioning coach. My role was to help the athletes get stronger, faster, and prevent injury. One athlete I remember was very talented, but when it came time to push himself he would quit.
One day he was doing an exercise and missed the final rep. I encouraged him to try one more time and he missed it again. The first words out of his mouth were “I don’t care.” That is a sign of a fixed mindset. A person who was not willing to step out of his comfort zone to stretch and grow. An athlete willing to stretch would have said “what can I do, coach?” To grow we must get uncomfortable. As we work through the discomfort we stretch and grow more into the leader we can become.
Which mindset do you most often have? If you are stuck in a fixed mindset what is one way you can get out of your comfort zone today to grow? Want a resource to help you with developing your growth mindset check out this digital resource developed by fellow Executive Director with the John Maxwell Team and retired Chief Master Sergeant Mike Lightner and myself on developing a growth mindset. Lead Well.
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