I don’t know about you, but often in my leadership journey at both work and home I struggle with my own self-doubt and what are called limiting beliefs. I get caught in the comparison game and look at others’ “highlight reel” and fail to realize that is not the entire story.
Think of an earthquake. A subtle shift between two plates creates huge waves of cataclysmic proportions that can create massive destruction. Here is the subtle shift I need to regularly make and maybe you do too. Change the question from “can I?” which is full of self-doubt and beliefs that limit us from reaching our full potential to “how can I?”
One word makes all the difference. Often this word “how” can limit us from stepping out to try something new, but in this case it encourages us to move into action. These three words assume there is a way to achieve the dream we are pursuing and we just have to find the map to get there. This will be challenging though.
John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth states: “Can I? is a question filled with hesitation and doubt . . . How can I? assumes there is a way. You just need to find it.” So how do we find it? Here are a few ideas.
- Act – if we stay stuck worrying about whether or not we can do something the only action we will take is exhausting ourselves with worry. An idea comes to mind as a next step to get you to your goal. Take the step.
- Think – sometimes we ask can I? because it enables us to not have to think into the answer that how can I? requires of us. In order to figure out the how, we must take time to think . . . creatively and for those of us with a bias toward action thinking feels like we are not being productive.
- Discern – when we have appropriate self-awareness we are able to see the reasons behind our hesitation or doubt when we pursue accomplishing our vision. For example are we afraid to start because of a fear of failure or even a fear of success? Is our hesitation because we look at what we have done in the past and allow that to determine what we will do in the future? As we discern our limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering beliefs we will move from Can I? to How Can I? and eventually to I Did!
I have not mastered this in any way. If you are like me then the principles above and following questions will help you break through your barriers to accomplishing what you desire. What is holding you back? What is the big dream you are hesitating to pursue because you don’t know if you can do it? What limiting beliefs are you accepting that hold you back? Are you taking time to think into possible solutions to move you forward? Are you taking action that will move you a step closer to your goal? In the words of the infamous NIKE slogan . . . . just do it . . . now.
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