Confession: small talk is not my strength. I enjoy asking questions and understanding people, but I want to have a purpose in our conversation. Because of this, holiday parties and family get togethers can be stressful at times. 
I like people and I love my family, but I want purpose in what we are doing. Some of you are probably thinking: “This guy is wound a little too tight.” You are probably right.
I have a guess though, others of you feel similar. At times I provide a workshop to help people understand four different personality styles and their own style. This improves communication at work and at home.
I don’t have the time to go in depth on this as people have written entire books on the topic, but let me illustrate what you may experience during the holidays as you try to connect with others.
Jim
Jim walks in the room and everybody knows. Some people feel like they are walking on eggshells. The meal was ready, but Jim takes it on himself to take over and tell everyone how things are done.
That is how Jim behaves. He takes charge and conversations with him do not last long. He is straight to the point and direct and expects you to be the same. You see Jim is a “D”.
Julie
Julie on the other hand walks in and says hi to everyone in the room. People love seeing Julie because she brings fun and energy with her. Julie is the one with all the stories and enjoys being the center of attention. How will you know if you are talking to a Julie? She never quite seems to quit talking. Julie is an “I”.
Sam
Sam has been at the party for an hour and you just noticed he arrived. He has quietly been helping the host of the party in any way he can to make the experience better. When he is not helping, you find him listening or quietly talking with one or two other individuals in a corner of the room. Sam is an “S” and is very loyal, helpful, and when the family fights arise he is trying to maintain peace.
Charlotte
Charlotte likes being around Sam because they are both a bit quiet and reserved, but Charlotte has something about her Sam does not. Insatiable curiosity. You see Charlotte at times reminds others of their five-year-old child, but less aggravating. Charlotte likes to understand how and why things work and asks lots of questions. This can drive some of the others nuts, but this is how a “C” can be.
You have a basic understanding of these types so hopefully you can do two things now:
- Appreciate the differences they bring.
- Adjust how you communicate with them to be able to speak their language. If we seek to serve and adjust to others we will connect and add more value to them.
Maybe in the process we might enjoy our holiday experiences as we appreciate our unique differences. If you want to understand your personal unique differences and your style go here to invest in a Maxwell DISC Personality Indicator Report. In the meantime. Enjoy your holidays and lead well!
©2019 Wheeler Coaching, All Rights Reserved
