“One can comfortably handle only so many details in his or her life.” Richard Swenson, M.D.
The holidays are a time of great expectation for time with family, friends, gifts, and the reason for 
the season. This is a time of great expectation in another way that can cause tension and stress. A time where you feel like you have to do things even though you don’t want to.
Awhile back I asked people “what is it that challenges you during this time of year?”
Many thoughts were provided, but a common one was how to say no without offending people. This may not be just a holiday issue because saying “no” may be challenge at many times in life.
Boundaries
When my kids were younger there were a couple playgrounds around. One of the playgrounds they went to contain a huge tower with no fences around and a body of water nearby. My wife and I would nervously watch hoping none of the boys would fall and force a visit to the emergency room. The second playground was a couple blocks down the street and had a fence. I could sit and read a book while watching the boys enjoy the equipment.
The difference between boundaries and no boundaries was less anxiety and freedom for the boys. These boundaries are what enable us to say no. Psychologist Henry Cloud and John Townsend popularized the idea of boundaries. They emphasize:
“You need to realize how much time and the energy you have and manage your work accordingly. Know what you can do and when you can do it and say no to everything else, learn to know your limits and enforce them.”
Priorities
During the holiday season we have many plans and multiple activities to engage in. We also have deadlines and goals to meet within the places we lead. At times we feel stretched to the limit and realize we need to say no to some things. How do we know what to say “no” to?
We must determine our priorities. We have deadlines at work and pressures at home. How do we say no? Operate from a creative mindset in setting priorities and think into ways to meet the deadlines without losing time at home. Is there a project that you can work more efficiently on to free up time? Do you need to lead your team in a way that establishes boundaries to help work occur more efficiently?
Three Questions
Maybe these questions I have heard from leadership expert John Maxwell will help you determine what to say no to.
- What is Required of you?
- What gives you the greatest Return?
- What gives you the greatest Reward?
After you think on these questions maybe it will enable you to arrange your priorities and know what to say “no” to. As we know our priorities we are equipped to create whitespace for the unexpected to live and lead through the holiday season in a manner that helps us lead effectively.
Set boundaries for yourself and those you lead this holiday season so you don’t have to be stressed out. Clarify your priorities, create space, and answer those defining questions so you can lead better at work and home.
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