ADVERSITY

Apr

2020

Leadership Questions During Adversity

“We need to curb our egos and ask questions, even at the risk of looking foolish.” John C. Maxwell

Have you ever sensed you needed to ask a question but were concerned about looking foolish? During difficult times we may think we must have all the answers as the leader but is that necessarily true? I was curious about this so I asked one of my mentors that I have access to through The John Maxwell Team.

I have the opportunity to learn from multiple mentors as a part of The John Maxwell Team. Recently I was on a question and answer call and asked Mark Cole, CEO of the John Maxwell enterprise a question. My question was not profound, but rather simple. . . . I asked him what questions he is asking himself as a leader. I want to share his answer with you to stimulate your leadership thinking.

How do I balance business dynamics with value dynamics?

In our present environment this is a unique challenge. I still need to grow my business and provide for my family, but how do I do this in a manner that adds value and is sensitive to the present individual and organizational economic realities? No matter your business you want to add value to people and provide a service or product that meets a relevant need, but must be profitable to continue to provide that service or product. What are you doing right now to balance these dynamics?

Am I operating in fear?

When we are in crisis a couple possible motives can drive us: fear or hope. Fear can cause us to make decisions that can increase our anxiety and the anxiety of those we lead. I find when I am operating in fear, I also try to control I cannot and put people as a lower priority. This desire for control and fear need to be replaced with trust and faith that as I do the right thing my decisions will be clearer and I will consider people first.

When can I begin to see the future?

In a time of great uncertainty such as we are presently experiencing this question is difficult to answer. As leaders we want to see more and see it before others so we can keep our team and organization moving forward. Right now, in light of so many uncertainties thinking too far ahead may not serve the organization well, so he has asked his key leaders for a 75 day plan. When the time is right, he will be able to look even farther. As many leaders are doing right now he too is figuring out how to lead while being personally mentored by John Maxwell through the process.

I realize this post did not give you concrete solutions, but my goal was to help you think into your leadership. You want to be a great leader and that requires asking great questions as no effective leader has all the answers. If you need a thinking partner to help you think into your leadership during this time contact me for a 30-minute thinking partner session at no cost. Lead Well.

Sep

2019

Can You Get Back Up?

“It’s how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. It’s how much you can take, and keep moving forward.”

Rocky Balboa

I am a child of the Rocky era. Rocky is a character who exemplifies a critical word for any leader: perseverance. No matter what we do in life it requires perseverance. I think about my role as a sport coach for many years. When I was starting I had to spend time volunteering for years before I began to get paid even a little. I spent hours working a job I didn’t enjoy so much so I could make money and be a part of a profession I loved. This took perseverance.

I think of a business opportunity I took advantage of, but didn’t go too well in the end. We began the endeavor right before the 2008 Recession. We trudged through some lean times, but stayed open.

What creates this ability to persevere and “keep moving forward” as Rocky says? I would suggest there are at least two critical traits.

VISION

Proverbs says “without vision, the people perish.”¹ This principle is true across all areas of life. I have found in my life often when I am struggling to know what my purpose is and I feel I am running on a hamster wheel (getting up, going to work, doing life at home, going to bed and doing it all over again) I get depressed. This depression seems to come from my lack of vision or greater purpose.

Whether in your personal life or in the team/organization you lead, purpose is essential. This vision answers the great question “Why?” I spent a big portion of my life working with athletes and helping them get bigger, faster, and stronger.

I enjoyed that, but ultimately what kept me going is this was an arena to develop leaders. An environment to help young men and women develop the discipline and responsibility necessary to achieve great goals and eventually develop into a leader in their home and workplace. This sense of purpose gives is a clue to the second trait.

PASSION

This is part of the formula for success because according to author and psychologist Angela Lee Duckworth research has shown that grit is the combination of passion and perseverance.² When we look at Rocky Balboa we see a man with grit. Rocky was hungry to accomplish a great goal in each of his movies. During Rocky III he lost his vision and at one point his grit which led to him failing to fight through the adversity of his training. During each movie Rocky has to fight through adversity and demonstrate grit in order to win.

What does all of this mean for leaders? First, what is the vision for where we are taking our family or leading our team/organization? Second, does the vision provide a combination of passion and perseverance to fight through any challenges that come our way? When we know our purpose and are passionately pursuing it we will have the ability to keep getting back up after we are knocked down. Need help clarifying your vision contact me. In the meantime, pursue your vision, keep fighting the fight, and lead well.

The Holy Bible. New International Version
https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_grit_the_power_of_passion_and_perseverance?language=en, accessed September 14, 2016

Jan

2019

How Well Do You Handle Adversity?

If you have ever been around or involved in sports you know the phrase “be tough.” That phrase applies not only to sports, but all areas of life at work and home. A couple falls ago my son wanted to start a leaf raking business. Because of his stage of life I knew he needed a little help so we went to the computer and printed off some business cards for him to use and then he began canvassing the neighborhood.

On his first day out he got hired by three houses so the following weekend we went to those houses to start our raking. As with most of us, he began with great enthusiasm and energy at the first house in spite of the cold temperatures. He then had to attend a sporting activity and after lunch he began his second house. I left him alone to work and when I came back from running some errands he had stalled. What was the problem? It was beginning to feel like work . . . and it was.

He wanted to quit, but I encouraged him to persevere and told him that quitting was not an option. After a weekend of raking four houses and securing a couple more jobs he was very proud of himself.

How are you and I at handling the challenges of what we are entrusted to do? Do we want to quit at work, our marriage, doing the work of parenting, pursuing a greater dream? In all honesty there are times I want to quit, but for me this is not an option.

ADVERSITY QUOTIENT

What all this is about is our “Adversity Quotient” which Dr. Paul Stoltz created years ago. According to Maxwell Maltz in his book The New Psycho-Cybernetics Stoltz describes adversity quotient as “a measurement of how people perceive challenges and how well they deal with them.” p.151

So what are the characteristics of people with high AQs? Stoltz provides three attributes:

They do not blame others

Adversity is not because of someone else or something else, it just is.

They do not blame themselves

The adversity or setback does not negatively impact their personal perception – they are not a failure as a person because of a setback.

Problems are limited in size and duration and can be dealt with

Adversity does not overwhelm them to the point of paralysis and inability to take action, they keep moving forward one step at a time

When you hit adversity at work or home how do you respond? Do you have a high or low AQ? Which of Stoltz’s three attributes do you need to grow in? You can accomplish your dreams as long as you get out of your own way. Move forward today and keep growing.

Nov

2017

Overcoming Failure

Every year October rolls around and we have the World Series. This is baseball’s version of a world champion. Two teams have played hundreds of games and earned the right to compete in a seven game series to see who the best team is that year.

Baseball is a fascinating sport because you are considered a very good batter when you fail more times than you succeed. Imagine being in a job where if you are successful 4 out of 10 times you are considered extremely successful. Maybe this is true even in business in some arenas. Maybe this is true in parenting and our other personal relationships.

What causes the baseball player to enter into a slump? They start believing and playing a mental tape that says they are never going to hit. Author Maxwell Maltz in his book The New Psycho-Cybernetics states: “A mistake is just a mistake. We must use rational thinking to achieve perspective, to rise above these paralyzing mental hazards.” Maltz is asking if we allow the negative “failure” tape to continue to play or do we choose to replace it with a positive tape that will help us change direction?

When the baseball player lets one strike-out get to him then he has not taken the time to coach himself and not allow that one strike-out to define him for the entire game. Maybe a salesperson continues to get “no” after “no” and therefore begins to believe no one will ever buy from him. Will this become a self-fulfilling prophecy? Possibly. What if instead he decides to picture himself closing multiple deals? As he envisions that he will then start acting as if success will happen and it begins to.

Obviously there are many things in life we cannot control, but we can control our response to what life brings our way. Will we choose to let mistakes or failures define us or use them as opportunities to learn and grow? In his book Failing Forward leadership expert John Maxwell provides a helpful comparison between failing forward and backward.

Failing Backward	Failing Forward
Blaming others	Taking Responsibility
Repeating the Same Mistakes	Learning from Each Mistake
Expecting Never to Fail Again	Knowing Failure Is a Part of Progress
Expecting to Continually Fail	Maintaining a Positive Attitude
Accepting Tradition Blindly	Challenging Outdated Assumptions
Being Limited by Past Mistakes	Taking New Risks
Thinking I am a Failure	Believing Something Didn’t Work
Quitting	Persevering

Whether it is something in your personal or professional life, are you failing forward and growing? Are you replacing the negative thoughts with positive thoughts? Do you need to take a risk that may be a failure, but ultimately lead to success? Whatever you are facing the reality is you will not have an opportunity to succeed unless you take a swing.

Sep

2017

Leadership Lesson from a Miserable Run

I enjoy exercising. Mainly at this stage of life I exercise to manage my eating addiction. I kind of like food . . . especially sweets. I do not enjoy running though, but I occasionally run for about 20 minutes. One day I got up and wanted to get my workout done without going to the gym so I could return home to help my wife before getting work done so I went on a run.

When I run I do not want to hear myself pant so I usually have my music with me. Less than five minutes into the run my music was not accessible. Oh, I forgot to tell you that while I was running there was a light drizzle which was tolerable.

Light drizzle, no distraction of music and then my cranky right knee starts to ache. I wasn’t far from the house I could have turned around and quit, but I am stubborn and I like my desserts. I continued slowly plodding along and then I turned the corner and the drizzle was now blowing in my face and extremely annoying.

At this point I am starting to ask myself why I am doing this when I could have gone to the gym and used the elliptical in dry conditions and been distracted both by my music and a book. (Yes, I read when I am on the elliptical) At this point I am halfway through and I just keep running.

I turn another corner so the rain is no longer blowing in my face and I am nearing the part of my run where I give my joints some relief by running in the grass. I contemplate staying on the concrete and asphalt, but I don’t. I take my first step in the grass and squish. My socks are now soaked, I am getting wetter by the moment and am miserable just wanting this run to be done.

Since I have nothing to do other than think I start to ponder how this experience relates to leadership. . . I know I’m strange. When we lead we may have an idea of what we are getting into. We may start with great enthusiasm and have all the tools or we may start with faith entering into the unknown.

No matter how we start, trials and challenges will come. Leading a family we don’t know what tragedies big or small are going to hit our family emotionally, physically, socially, economically or anything else. Leading at work we don’t know what obstacles will prevent us from closing the deal, advancing the cause, helping people work at the highest level, etc.

As a leader at work or home we all have a choice. Even within the first five minutes of my run I had to choose will I persevere or quit? There has been a slowdown at work and we are experiencing increased pressure to perform, persevere or quit? The business you are building is not happening as quickly as you want, persevere or quit? Our marriage hits a bump, will we persevere or quit? Raising children is not as easy as anticipated: persevere or quit?

A man who was living for a great cause had great adversity on his journey and he said in part “I will press on toward the goal . . . “ Will you press on, trudging through the difficulties to ultimately accomplish the goal? I hope you do so that you can realize your full potential.

By the way . . . when I did finish I felt a sense of accomplishment . . . so now I could eat dessert later.

Jul

2017

Leadership Lessons from the ER

A number of years ago I was having sharp pains all over my abdominal area. I dealt with them for over a month. I even went to the ER one night only to get a pat on the back and reassurance I would be OK. One particular evening I had gone out to a very nice steak dinner with my parents and family to celebrate my birthday.

After putting the kids to bed my wife and I finished our dessert from the meal and soon after went to bed. At about 11:30 PM I woke up and the pain was different. I just knew something was going on. I told my wife she had to find someone to watch the kids and that I needed to go to the ER.

Now I can tolerate pain . . . for the most part. This evening when we got to the ER all I wanted is them to give me something to stop the pain. It was excruciating and I had just seen my entire dinner again if you know what I mean.

The next ten days are a fog. During the first five I was so medicated I barely remember people coming in and out of the hospital to visit. I remember a point during my stay where I felt like I was suffocating and had to be put on oxygen while having a tube down my throat. I cannot imagine what my family was feeling because I barely knew where I was. Finally, after numerous tests, the day after my birthday the doctors opened me up to remove a large section of my obstructed small intestine.

After my ten days in the hospital I now weighed 22 pounds less than when I entered, actually less than when I was a freshman in high school. I was gaunt and felt like I was 80 years old. I felt like I was climbing a mountain just to walk down the street five houses in beautiful Spring weather. The recovery was slow, but now years later I have memories and a large scar to remind me of the experience.

What does this have to do with leadership?

Even in great adversity I had to lead myself – I was in the middle of completing my Masters and in spite of my situation I had to be disciplined to complete work to keep me moving forward. (I know … I am a little too “Type A”) As a leader we want to shut down and give up during the adversity, but the hardest person we have to lead is ourselves and keep taking one step at a time.
No matter how painful the problem, you have to find a solution – I was dealing with this issue for over a month and I tried to ignore it, but obviously I had to deal with the issue. In leadership there may be an obstacle or challenge we want to avoid, but if the problem is important enough no matter how hard we try, we will have to solve it.
Growth takes time – It took me at least a year to get close to where I was physically before the surgery. I was frustrated and I am impatient, but over time I got back. Leaders tend to want results yesterday, but as with our bodies physically it takes time to grow whether that is developing other leaders, an organization, or something else. We need to continually take patient action.

What about you? What leadership challenge are you facing at work or home that if you do not face it head on it will become an emergency? Do you need someone to coach you through the process and hold you accountable? Click Here if you want to learn about the coaching process.

If you found this helpful share it with others or share your thoughts below. Remember pain is temporary and growth is a process. You can do it!