Balance

Aug

2018

Leadership Seasons

I was listening to one of my mentors, Mark Cole who is the CEO of all of John Maxwell’s companies through The John Maxwell Team and he was describing something I had not thought of before: seasons.

Many of us strive for balance in our lives, but it seems to allude us. Maybe the answer is because we cannot ever accomplish that. When I heard Mark suggest that idea I was both discouraged and freed. I have a wife and three children. As the dad I do not feel the same tension as my wife who some days must feel like someone is pulling at every limb on her body between three boys saying “mom” and the fourth saying “honey” and all of us following it with a need based question. As a man I feel the tension of providing, being a good husband, being a good father, leading well in every area and more. I want balance, but after listening to Mark I think I need to re-frame my thinking.

When we had three children under the age of five my wife and I were in a physically exhausting season trying to meet our needs and the needs of our children. We are rapidly entering a season of mental exhaustion as our children approach and enter the teenage years. If you have or have had a teenager you know this tension quite well. As leaders at work and home we have seasons that can be compared to the four seasons many of us may experience.

Winter – This is the time in leadership where we are trying to get clarity of what we are trying to accomplish. This time may be very slow from a business building standpoint because we don’t know where to start. We may feel mildly depressed and frustrated because we don’t know where to go. This is the time of planning and preparing because Spring is on the way.
Spring – This is a very busy time. Think of the farmer, during this time they continually plant seeds. They are not seeing any results, but they have the plan from the winter and now are hard at work helping others understand and spread the seeds of the plan often with long hours of hard work. As leaders this is a time of growing relationships, gaining momentum, and sharing the vision like a farmer spreading seed. This time is exciting, yet exhausting, but Summer is coming.
Summer – I live in Indiana and occasionally up toward Chicago. In the summertime during July and August all I see around me are cornstalks. As a leader the work in summer changes because now is the time to do the reaping work from the seeds that have birthed fruit. This is when you are delivering your services, managing the staff, spending time developing people and implementing the plans necessary to fulfill the vision you have for work and home.
Fall – In the Midwest this is a beautiful time as the leaves change color and it paints the landscape. As a leader this is the time where you see the vision come to fruition. You are seeing the material and immaterial benefits of all the thinking and work you did during the other seasons.

BUT

Winter is coming so embrace it, accept it and continue to lead well in each season.

What season are you in? Are you striving for perfect balance which happens only momentarily or do you need to see the season you are in, embrace it and determine how to lead well at work and home in this season? When you decide the season you are in, what adjustments do you need to make so that you can lead well both at work and home? Lead well friend.

Oct

2017

How Do You Achieve Balance In Life?

“I’m too busy!”

“There’s not enough time in the day!”

“I can’t seem to balance work and life!”

Do some of these statements resonate? They often resonate with me and I believe many people feel similar. The overarching question is how do I achieve balance?

Once I was working with a group of leaders from a non-profit organization. As we were interacting around the table during a session of The Leadership Game, a team building and leadership assessment tool I use with organizations, a common theme from this group of dedicated leaders arose: work/life balance. To help investigate this issue let me point us to people much further along in this journey than I am.

Leadership expert John C. Maxwell provides in his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership* a part of the answer in the Law of Priorities. Maxwell helps us understand that priorities force us to evaluate if we are just being active or are we actually being productive. How does this apply to achieving balance? Simple. Look at the calendar and is our time being used in a manner that produces the results we want in our lives or are we running like hamsters on a wheel being active with tasks but getting nowhere?

Once we have established our priorities authors Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend provide an abundance of direction on the concept of boundaries in their book Boundaries which I strongly recommend if this is a challenge for you. Specifically related to work challenges, the authors suggest that if “people took responsibility for their own work and set clear limits,” most of their problems would not exist.** This points us to another principle in work/life balance. Once we know our priorities we do what we need to do and avoid taking on other individual’s responsibilities.

To illustrate, I once heard Collin Powell discussing how he was in President Reagan’s office discussing all the challenges he was facing with the military at the time. He continued to expound for a period of time and I would guess he may have hoped for some answer to all his problems. The response he got from the President was an observation about a squirrel outside the oval office in the grass. In the moment Mr. Powell must have been dumbfounded. After further reflection he realized the President was indirectly saying: “that’s not my problem.” So if it is truly not your problem whether at work or home, set an appropriate boundary and let them struggle, figure it out, and grow.

Author Richard Swenson, M.D. in his book Margin provides the observation that the “tendency of our culture is to inexorably add detail to our lives . . . . Yet one can comfortably handle only so many details in his or her life. Exceeding this threshold will result in disorganization or frustration.”*** We have many options, needs, wants, and desires vying for our attention. In his book he provides practical solutions for improving margin in many areas. To add practical steps to this part of achieving balance with time I will highlight a few of his suggestions (some are slightly modified) related to time.

Learn to say no. It may mean saying no to a good thing for something that is greater and more in line with your priorities.
Unplug. Do we need to be on that device or should we just sit and talk with the people around us?
Practice simplicity and contentment. It seems the more stuff I have the more time it takes from me.
Create “buffer zones.” Is there margin in your calendar or is everything stacked right on top of one another?

These are only four of sixteen suggestions he provides on this topic alone. I do not have this all figured out because I am on the journey of balance as well, but hopefully these principles will help move us in the right direction toward work/life balance. What is one action step you need to take today to move you toward greater balance in life? Maybe you need someone to coach you through the process. If that is the case, contact me today for a free coaching session.

*Maxwell, John. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Nashville, Thomas Nelson, 2007.

**Cloud, Henry and Townsend, John. Boundaries. Grand Rapids, Zondervan, 1992.

***Swenson, Richard. Margin. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 1992.

May

2017

Is Your Pace Sustainable?

I was at my middle child’s track meet watching fourth graders run their hardest and trying to win races. I made the mistake of volunteering not realizing it would feel like late Fall instead of early Spring, but it was time with my son therefore freezing was worth it.

While watching the distance races I saw some of the kids burst out and they were in the lead way ahead of everybody else . . . until the final part of the race. At that point people were catching up and even passing the leader. These young boys and girls did not know how to pace themselves in a manner that would sustain their energy so they could give their greatest burst when they needed it the most.

There were three types of runners I saw during the long races.

The pacers. These were the kids that were smart enough to know their capacity and what pace they could sustain through a race. They would start to the back or middle of the pack, but eventually end toward the front.
The talented. These are what I would call the “energizer bunnies.” They had the capacity to go all out . . . and sustain it throughout the race. There were only one or two of those. These individuals ran their hearts out and appeared only mildly tired at the end. Was it talent or training? I’m not sure, but I’m sure the former was part of their ability.
The survivors. These were the ones who were happy to finish the race without getting sick or embarrassing themselves. They sustained the pace they could handle without killing themselves.

As I reflected the following morning, I was thinking this is how I lead myself and others. If leadership is nothing more than influence then how I lead myself will model how those around me at work and home will learn how to lead themselves.

Survival Leadership – this is when I run like crazy from one urgent need to another both personally and professionally. We have so many proverbial plates spinning that we try to keep them all in the air . . . alone. I would challenge I am not leading at this point, but just managing. I am working in my life/job, but not on my life/job.

Talented Leadership – this is the person who relies on his or her natural abilities to lead, but may not ever be growing so they stagnate as well as the organization they lead. This also can be the person who has amazing capacity such as the person who can successfully accomplish multiple projects on little sleep and may not even have habits to help them recharge, they just “grind on.” If this person gets on a growth path with a coach and allows others to help them think into their life they can grow from a good to a great leader.

Pacesetting Leadership – this leader knows where they are now and their present abilities, but knows they can grow and go further. This person sees the big picture and daily implements habits to help them and their team reach the ultimate goal. They go slow enough to lead others, but fast enough to not allow the organization to become stagnant and they are constantly adjusting similar to the “pacer” in a race.

Do you fall into one or multiple of these leadership styles? Do you need people to help you grow in your journey, maybe even a coach? What habits are you developing to help you maintain a sustainable pace and help you grow to the next level? Surround yourself with a strong team and keep running the leadership race and adjusting to improve every day.

Apr

2017

Leading Yourself Better in Balance

Maybe you remember the dreaded geometry class when you were in high school. I know, I hated proofs. I apologize to all the math teachers, accountants and other numbers people out there, but those things seemed pointless and bordering on evil. I do remember there was such a thing as an equilateral triangle. When I think of my life I desire to have an equilateral triangle. What about you?

There are many areas to life, but three general areas I feel I am constantly juggling are the following:
1. Personal – my health and fitness, personal growth, spiritual growth, etc.
2. Professional – all the responsibilities related to my work life and development in that area
3. Family – all that relates to leading and loving my family such as providing, leading, spending time with them, etc.
Why a triangle? If you have ever tried to stand a triangle on one point it simply does not work. Go ahead try and prove me wrong (without flattening a point). Each point of the triangle is important and creates the entire object. There also must be equality on each side of the triangle or it no longer is an equilateral object. When all things are in balance life works much better. The reality is we rarely, if ever, maintain perfect balance in these three areas.
Two concepts from author Steven Covey help to evaluate how I am doing in each of these areas. In his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Covey provides two critical concepts that relate to keeping the triangle equal:
1. Begin with the End in Mind – The following question comes to mind when I think of this concept: what do you want people to say about you at your funeral? When we have a clear picture of our purpose that helps us to use the time in our personal, professional, and family lives wisely.

2. Put First Things First – are we putting those things that matter least in front of those that matter most? Are we living with the end in mind? To further detail this concept Covey provides the following diagram to help us prioritize our life.

	NOT IMPORTANT	IMPORTANT
NOT URGENT	NOT URGENT & NOT IMPORTANT	NOT URGENT & IMPORTANT
URGENT	URGENT & NOT IMPORTANT	URGENT & IMPORTANT

The challenge many of us face is spending a disproportionate amount of our time in the bottom right on the urgent and important work. For example: time wasters, busy work, trivial work, etc. To create balance in each area of our lives we need to spend time in the top right on the Not Urgent and Important. Activities such as relationship building, exercise, healthy eating, planning, preventative maintenance, etc.

Living a life of intentionality and purpose takes time and effort. How are you doing at this? Do you know your purpose? What quadrant do you spend the most time in? What needs to change? Who can help you create the equilateral triangle so you aren’t constantly emphasizing only one area? Don’t try to change everything at once. Take the first step and change one habit. Build a team around you to hold you accountable and you can live a better balanced and more intentional life. Hold yourself accountable and post your first step below. Good luck!