BOUNDARIES

Nov

2023

Leading More Experienced Team Members

In one of my first jobs, I was in charge of leading a group of volunteers who were just a few years younger than my parents. I was the one with the title and in charge, but really everyone else in the room had ten times the wisdom and experience.

Maybe you are in an organization and have been entrusted with leading a team of experienced people. This can be challenging and even intimidating. Allow me to provide a few ideas that may help you if you are in this situation.

Tap Into Their Experience

I didn’t know what I didn’t know about life, this community I was leading, or many other aspects of the situation. On one level, that served me well because I was willing to take risks, but consulting the wisdom of the people around me helped me be more calculated in my risk-taking.

You have the benefit of years of experience around you. Tap into it. When you get stuck and are unsure about a decision, gather feedback from your team. Learn from both the successes and failures of your experienced team to help everyone succeed. One reminder: when success comes, give credit to the team, and don’t take it yourself.

Set Clear Boundaries

I was an umpire for baseball when I was thirteen. At one point, an adult coach was yelling and arguing with me about a call I made. I could have caved, but I was confident in my decision and knew I had the authority, so I turned around and confidently threw the coach out of the game. I heard nothing else from him that game.

Maybe you got the position instead of someone else with more experience. This could create tension and a team member may try to undermine you. Use what author Kim Scott and former top leader at both Google and Apple calls radical candor. Pull the individual aside and have a conversation with both candor and care. Demonstrate care by trying to understand where they are coming from and candidly explain the issue and the line that was crossed. Balancing these will set and maintain clear boundaries.

Demonstrate Confident Humility

In his book Good to Great Jim Collins describes a level five leader as someone with intense drive and great humility. These two traits demonstrate this confident humility. As the leader, be willing to work as hard as your team. At times, work alongside them so you can understand them and what they do. Coming alongside the team demonstrates humility and a desire to learn.

Confidence comes from a clear vision. You have been entrusted with this role for a purpose. Do you know the purpose for your team? What do you want to accomplish with your team? What are you moving toward beyond the bottom line or some other practical goal? Why is what you do as a team so important? Get clarity on these answers and confidence will grow and overflow.

Develop a Learning Culture

“A shared vision . . . provides a rudder to keep the learning process on course when stresses develop.”

Peter Senge

The vision that gives you confidence should be shared with the team. As that vision becomes clear create a learning culture where you discuss the vision together. What will this organization/team look like in a year? Answer that together, establish the steps to achieve that vision together and you will have a team that is learning, unified, and doesn’t care about the age or experience of the leader. You will have a team going in one direction together toward a clear goal. When this is happening, you will be leading well.

How are you doing in each of these areas? Which one do you need to think into more? Contact me and I’d be glad to help you. If you find this helpful, please share it with others. Lead Well.

*Thoughts from others on this topic are below

https://medium.com/small-business-strong/how-to-lead-people-older-and-more-experienced-than-you-a16a564b11b2

https://www.entrepreneur.com/article/269563

https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/how-to-manage-people-who-are-older-than-you-0717

Aug

2021

Improv and Leadership

Recently I went to an Improv Comedy Club with my wife. Since we had the opportunity to be away from our children we thought going someplace to get a laugh would be a great experience. Because I constantly think about things through a leadership lens I discovered three leadership lessons from this experience.

Energy

As the evening began the host came up on stage and created an environment of high energy. He got people clapping and had people stand up and dance. This was designed to be an entertaining evening and he had to set the tone and create the right “vibe” in the room. If we have a title or position of leadership we have a responsibility to set the tone in a room.

We can walk in with an overbearing scowl or we can be upbeat and full of life. If the meeting has a serious topic, we set that tone. If the meeting is a strategic brainstorming session, then we need to create an open atmosphere. The leader creates the energy and can influence the energy of a meeting often through both verbal and non-verbal communication.

Engagement

If you are unfamiliar with Improv, part of the experience is audience participation. Before each sketch the host asks the audience for words or may have someone come up to participate. This creates an environment where the audience is part of the experience instead of passively watching. Effective leaders draw out their team members to get them engaged in the conversation.

Have you been in a meeting where no one talks except the person leading? These meetings are difficult to remain engaged in. If you lead a meeting where you are the only one talking you may want to consider ways to engage your team more. Maybe the meeting should only be an e-mail or brief stand up conversation. Possibly preparing questions related to what you want feedback on will help you increase engagement. Each person on your team has value they can bring so figure out how to best engage with them.

Boundaries

We went to the early show on purpose because it was a family friendly experience. At the beginning of the show the host asked for people to judge the competition. One individual was a young man around ten years old. The host did this to help remind everyone this was a family experience. As the host and leader, he had to create a boundary and establish the rules of our time together.

Some of us may not like creating boundaries because of our temperament or other reasons. Boundaries help provide freedom like a fence around a playground. When the team understands the expectations and boundaries they have more freedom to get creative. Create the boundary and free up your team for innovation.

How are you doing in these three areas. What is one step you can take today to grow in one of these three areas. Need help creating an engaging environment? Contact me about facilitating The John Maxwell Team Leadership Game to open up conversation and increase engagement on your team. In the meantime, Lead Well.

Dec

2019

Holiday Leadership: Saying NO

“One can comfortably handle only so many details in his or her life.” Richard Swenson, M.D.

The holidays are a time of great expectation for time with family, friends, gifts, and the reason for the season. This is a time of great expectation in another way that can cause tension and stress. A time where you feel like you have to do things even though you don’t want to.

Awhile back I asked people “what is it that challenges you during this time of year?”

Many thoughts were provided, but a common one was how to say no without offending people. This may not be just a holiday issue because saying “no” may be challenge at many times in life.

Boundaries

When my kids were younger there were a couple playgrounds around. One of the playgrounds they went to contain a huge tower with no fences around and a body of water nearby. My wife and I would nervously watch hoping none of the boys would fall and force a visit to the emergency room. The second playground was a couple blocks down the street and had a fence. I could sit and read a book while watching the boys enjoy the equipment.

The difference between boundaries and no boundaries was less anxiety and freedom for the boys. These boundaries are what enable us to say no. Psychologist Henry Cloud and John Townsend popularized the idea of boundaries. They emphasize:

“You need to realize how much time and the energy you have and manage your work accordingly. Know what you can do and when you can do it and say no to everything else, learn to know your limits and enforce them.”

Priorities

During the holiday season we have many plans and multiple activities to engage in. We also have deadlines and goals to meet within the places we lead. At times we feel stretched to the limit and realize we need to say no to some things. How do we know what to say “no” to?

We must determine our priorities. We have deadlines at work and pressures at home. How do we say no? Operate from a creative mindset in setting priorities and think into ways to meet the deadlines without losing time at home. Is there a project that you can work more efficiently on to free up time? Do you need to lead your team in a way that establishes boundaries to help work occur more efficiently?

Three Questions

Maybe these questions I have heard from leadership expert John Maxwell will help you determine what to say no to.

What is Required of you?
What gives you the greatest Return?
What gives you the greatest Reward?

After you think on these questions maybe it will enable you to arrange your priorities and know what to say “no” to. As we know our priorities we are equipped to create whitespace for the unexpected to live and lead through the holiday season in a manner that helps us lead effectively.

Set boundaries for yourself and those you lead this holiday season so you don’t have to be stressed out. Clarify your priorities, create space, and answer those defining questions so you can lead better at work and home.

Dec

2017

Leading with Boundaries

My wife and I have three young energetic boys running around the house and neighborhood. Just like you, I have multiple people and responsibilities simultaneously pulling at me. As I think of when my children were real young I think about playgrounds. Some playgrounds were relaxing while others were not. What was the difference?

Where we live there is one playground/park that was about three stories tall and had long slides and lots to climb on. Not only that, but there was a creek nearby that at times got quite high and a large grassy field that bumped up next to a busy road. When the boys were early elementary age and younger this area stressed me out and I was constantly looking around and trying to know where the boys were. On the other hand, when I went to the boys’ elementary school with them there was a playground with a fence around it and I could sit on a bench and watch them play or push them on a swing. The latter was the relaxing one, or at least less stressful, because it had boundaries the boys could not escape.

As I think of the playground or park illustration it reminds me of a need we have in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. We have a certain amount we can handle and as leaders when we provide expectations that helps set the boundaries. Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend state in their book Boundaries:

“You need to realize how much time and energy you have, and manage your work accordingly. Know what you can do and when you can do it, and say no to everything else. Learn to know your limits and enforce them.”

If you lead a team or organization then clearly established boundaries will help those you lead perform at a higher level. With the playground a child knows they can go and explore and use all their creativity anywhere on the playground, but they must not go past the fence because it exists for their safety. As a caveat I am not talking about times we need to go beyond the boundaries of comfort in order to grow. I am referring to the boundaries that clarify our expectations and individual limits.

When leading a team, if they know clearly what outcome is expected a healthy leader who does not feel the need to micromanage will allow individuals to use their personal strengths and creativity to decide the best process to accomplish the goal. Similar to a teacher on a school playground, the leader may monitor and check in to see if the team needs any assistance during the process, but not tell them every step. The leader has a responsibility to understand whether the expectations are reasonable based on available time and the scope of work needed.

How are you at establishing boundaries? Do you have clarity on what you expect of those you lead? If not, what do you need to do in order to gain that clarity? Do you need to intentionally carve out time for those areas of your life you have been neglecting such as your health or family relationships? Take time and reflect on these to become a better leader today.