ENCOURAGEMENT

Oct

2020

Leading From A Distance

This past weekend my youngest son and I participated in a Father/Son camp. When each son has turned ten we have gone to a camp put on by Mission Uprising. The experience is a great opportunity to unplug and connect with my son one on one.

Each of my son’s brothers had scaled the huge climbing wall when they went and felt the thrill of success while overcoming the challenges along the way. Along with the climbing wall, this son had a different opportunity. A “vertical playground.” Let’s just say when dad saw the “playground” he knew his limitations and would not attempt this adventure.

While on the ground observing I could do nothing to help him . . . so I thought. Reflecting back there are ways that I led from a distance that may apply to you in leading your team.

Encouragement

As you can see from the picture this was not an easy climb. After scaling a cargo net, he had to figure out how to climb a wooden “X”. He took a rest to wait for the other climber and managed to reach the next level. This next level looked impossible to me. He had to climb a rope ladder with moving rungs! I had no idea how this could be accomplished.

What could I do? Encourage him. I made sure while he was up there trying to determine his next move he knew I believed in him. I would yell up and affirm to him that he could do it and not to quit. As leaders sometimes we may not know the next step a person should take, but may need to encourage them to keep persevering toward the goal.

Guidance

Slowly he climbed the wobbly ladder toward the next level and I would provide occasional instruction on what I could see that he could not. He focused on the next goal, was unable to see where to place his feet, and would stumble and struggle. Similarly, as he climbed the wall earlier in the day I was able to see rocks that were at his waist and from the ground would share with him what I saw to help him climb higher.

Leaders often operate at a different level of awareness. We can be a boss and demand those we lead or we can guide and empower by helping them see options we see they did not know they had in climbing toward their goal.

Celebration

I wish I could tell you he made it to the top of the obstacle, but unfortunately he ran out of strength while climbing the ladder and could not quite pull himself up. After carefully rappelling down to the ground and getting unclipped from his harness I was quick to celebrate with him his perseverance and how high he did get on his first attempt ever.

I know as a leader I often forget to celebrate the small successes because of my frustration at not reaching the goal. When we lead others, we must celebrate the success in any attempt while also discussing the learning opportunity.

As a leader which of these three areas do you need to grow in? What is one action step you can take in that area today? Do you need to create an environment on your team or in your business where people are encouraging one another? Contact me to discuss facilitating a mastermind experience to help create that environment with your organization or team. Lead Well!

Feb

2020

A Four-Letter Leadership Word

Love is necessary for effective transformational leadership. Stick with me a minute. I know this sounds like a soft skill that could have nothing to do with leadership. Think about this though. Who is one of the best leaders you have had?

Was the individual harsh and overbearing?

Was the person kind?

Was the person a mixture of both?

Both are necessary and provide “tough love.” Accountability and standards are necessary in combination with discernment on when to provide the room to grow and forgive. Take a moment with me and look at these four ways to demonstrate “love” in leadership.

Learning

“Learning . . . seeing the world simultaneously as it is and what it can be, understanding what you see, and acting on your understanding.”

Warren Bennis

A leader who is a learner will seek to understand those he or she leads. One way is to understand their communication style and adjust how we deliver our message in a manner they can hear. If you want to invest in learning your communication style then go here.

More often than I want to admit, I overreact and jump to conclusions before understanding a situation. As leaders we demonstrate love and build improved connection when we slow down to learn about the situation. Instead of assuming the worst, I need to take time to understand all sides and then make a conclusion. This exemplifies what Bennis stated above.

Optimism

“Avoid entertaining the concept of the worst, for whatever you take into your mind can grow there.”

Norman Vincent Peale

I naturally tend to see the challenges of a situation, therefore I understand optimism is a choice. Leaders must accurately assess the situation, but then see the possibilities. When we have that picture we paint a picture for those we lead to help them see how they can positively contribute to achieving the vision.

As Peale suggests we want to focus on the possibility instead of the worst because where our focus goes our mind stays. When our minds stay more focused on the challenge than the solution, we get results in line with that focus. As leaders we have a challenge to help others see the possibilities even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Value

Tasks need to be accomplished in order to meet a goal, and people are the ones who perform them. Effective leaders help those they lead understand their value by first helping them see their personal role in the bigger picture. Another great way to help them understand their value is by identifying their strengths.

After identifying those strengths, position them for success by having them working in their strengths often. When this occurs not only are they more personally effective, but they are utilizing their most valuable assets for the organization’s overall benefit.

Encouragement

Blanchard and Zgarmi developed a process of leading called “Situational Leadership.” I suggest this model provides practical application to the idea of encouraging those we lead. According to the model individuals need varying degrees of support and direction. As leaders who care about those we lead we will come alongside others to encourage, equip, and eventually let them perform on their own. When we are leading with the appropriate amount of encouragement, we increase their confidence and performance.

As you look at these four areas which area can you strengthen this week? As leadership expert John Maxwell says “leaders develop daily not in a day.” What is one way you will develop today? Lead well.

Apr

2017

How to Get More Encouragement

I will start by stating the obvious; we live in a world that can inundate us with negativity so how can we be encouraged more? Before I go any further let me confess I am not the most positive person naturally. I am a recovering perfectionist and naturally tend to be extremely critical. With that being said, know that anything I say about this topic from here forward is stuff I am working on as well.

Who do you surround yourself with? Are they people that lift you up or people that pull you down? There are two types of people when it comes to this area:

Those who make you FEEL better. Now that may sound like a good thing, but what if they make you feel better by encouraging bad habits such as self-pity or destructive habits and enable you to continue down your path of destruction? Are they really helping you?
Those who make you BE better. These are the people in our lives that when life gets challenging they meet two needs in our lives. They are encouragers because they tell us we can get through the challenge. They are also “truth tellers” who will tell us what we need to hear, but may not want to hear in the way we can hear it. These people help us live to our full potential.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t have people around me every moment of my life encouraging me so that is where I need to apply what I am calling The Little Engine principle. Do you remember the book The Little Engine That Could? If you read it, why did we love that book? Because he believed in himself. Over and over he said “I think I can” until he reached the top of the mountain.

In his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth John Maxwell says: “You need to learn to become your own encourager, your own cheerleader. Every time you do a good job, don’t just let it pass; give yourself a compliment.” ¹ We need to be our own Little Engines, but this is hard so let me suggest a few ideas that help me:

Listen to encouraging talks
Quotes that inspire
Spend more time with people who are natural encouragers
The Bible helps me, but it may be some other spiritual book for you
Positive music
When the discouraging thoughts come reflect long enough to learn the source and see if there is something I need to learn and then replace it with the true thoughts i.e. After making a dumb mistake replace “I am an idiot” with “I made a mistake, what can I learn”
Instead of beating myself up for the little thing I did wrong in a project, celebrate all I did right while learning from the little mistake

These are only a few ideas and I am sure there are people who are much better at The Little Engine principle than me. If that is you and being a self-encourager comes a little easier for you, tell me what works for you. I want to learn from you. Maybe you are like me and you have other ideas that help you, put it in the comments. No matter what, remember you can do unbelievably more than you imagine and don’t let your thoughts tell you differently. I think you can. . . do you?