HOLIDAYS

Dec

2023

Three Keys to Reducing Hurry

I have to close out the year and finish strong.

I have to attend all the holiday parties I’m invited to.

I have to get all the gifts bought and wrapped.

I have to create my plan and set myself up to start the new year strong.

I have to . . . .

I thought this time of year was supposed to be full of joy, but it seems we all get caught up in “have to” syndrome. Ironically, I just finished reading two books others recommended to me that help us with the hurry of life. Hurrying occurs not just during the holidays but throughout the year.

One book is by a pastor, and the other is by a sports psychologist. One was recommended to me a while ago, and the other is a friend of mine. Both have great insights, but I don’t have time to share them all, so I have put links to the books at the end of this post, but below are a few principles I hope help you to lead yourself well during this holiday season and beyond.

Our Time Creates Us

“…how we spend our time is how we spend our lives. It’s who we become (or don’t become).”

John Mark Comer

As one year ends another begins maybe you create time to reflect on the past year and look at where you spent (or hopefully invested) your time. I have heard there are two places to find out our priorities . . . our bank account and our calendar.

We all have the same amount of time. The question is, are we leading ourselves intentionally or accidentally? Whether you have decades or years of life the way we use our time creates us.

I have a friend who passed away a year ago and in the last months of his life he was living his best life. He poured his time and energy into people. At his funeral, the room was packed, and it was a demonstration of a life lived on purpose, not just chasing the urgent.

Our Time Can Be Directed

“If everything in life is urgent, then fast is the only speed we have toward everything. And urgency toward everything will cause stress, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed.”

Dr. Rob Bell

Comer discusses disciplines such as silence, solitude, and slowing to help us with the problem of hurry or urgency that Dr. Bell mentions above. Your life is full as a leader, and you have a bent toward action. We can’t stop moving forward, but maybe we need to consider slowing down and creating space to relieve the stress, anxiety, and overwhelm.

In my book 25 Ways to Lead Better at Work and Home, I suggest nine ways to recharge, such as reading, being in a community that supports you, exercising, and others. This concept of recharging during the holidays can be as simple as a few minutes with your coffee in the morning, thinking and prioritizing your day to direct us out of hurry and into an intentional investment of time.

Patience is Essential

“Success grows in those who know what is important, and act with urgency toward the important. Peace rests with those who are also patient with the results.”

Dr. Rob Bell

A successful leader focuses on his or her priorities and moves with laser focus toward those few priorities. This leader patiently works the plan and knows the results take time.

This is a journey that is difficult for me because I want it done . . . yesterday. I am learning to enjoy the process and continue to consistently take steps toward the goal, knowing the results will come in time. Our job is consistently planting the seeds that will lead to our desired success. This requires persistence and patience.

How are you doing in these three areas? What could you do this holiday season to slow down and enjoy the process? As you look ahead to the new year, maybe you want to focus on your priorities to help you move purposefully and patiently forward with less hurry. Check out Prioritizing for Success to help you get focused as you round out this year and head into the new one. Resist the hurry, choose patience and lead well.

Comer, John Mark. The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.

Bell, Dr. Robb. I Can’t Wait to Be Patient (And The Fastest Way to Get There).

Wheeler, Randy. 25 Ways to Lead Better at Work and Home.

Dec

2020

Holiday Self-Leadership Part III

Originally this series was based on a series of videos I did last year. For this final blog in the series I’m making an adjustment.

I was at the Christmas celebration with my wife’s side of the family. After our celebration time we reflected on how Christmas can feel less special and meaningful. All our kids are old enough that the magical feeling has greatly decreased. After talking ideas came to mind of how to lead and make Christmas less about getting and more about something else.

Engage with Others

As I reflected the next morning, I realized family gatherings personally become less meaningful because I fail to engage those around me. This specific experience I managed to get myself lost after visiting someone in my wife’s small town and was late . . . but that is a story for another day. When I finally arrived, I was in my own world and was not engaging well with people around me. We all have stress, worries and life happening . . . especially this year, but maybe if we take the time to ask questions, listen, and engage with those around us we will experience the joy of relationships and connecting.

Serve Others

While processing this struggle of maintaining the joy of the holidays I realized I need to step up my leadership. What do I mean? I wonder what it could look like if I encouraged my family and led the way to adopt a family and provided for their Christmas. Shift our Christmas from giving gifts to one another to serving a family in need. For this to be part of our family I need to step up and lead by planning, preparing, and implementing. Maybe this idea would be good to implement both in your home and your organization.

Focus on the Real Meaning

This part may be different for you than for me. For me the meaning of Christmas is the love God showed the world by coming as a child to ultimately give us hope and save us. Now, that may not be the real meaning for you as you. Maybe the real reason is family, or you have a different faith so it is different for you. Regardless of faith, a shared meaning of the holidays is they are a time to focus on others and giving. To focus on the real meaning, intentionally lead ourselves and others in ways that connect with and serve them over serving ourselves.

I realize the end of the year is stressful even without the holidays. How can you shift your focus slightly so you can enjoy the holiday season more this year? Share with me. Enjoy your holiday season and lead well.

Dec

2020

Holiday Self-Leadership Part I

Last year I posted on Facebook asking people the greatest challenges they have over the holidays. I received multiple responses and over the next few weeks I’ll share some ideas I hope will help you in leading yourself during the holidays.

I originally talked about some of this in my Friday video last year, but a lot has changed in our world since I made that video. During the holidays in a non-pandemic year someone asked how to take time for themselves during the holidays. Allow me to suggest a few ideas on leading ourselves in three different areas during this time.

Physical Self-Leadership

In a normal holiday season, we get worn down but this compounds with the added stressors of staying at home and potentially virtual school. If we can’t lead ourselves well during the holidays, we’re not going to be able to give generously to those around us at work, at home, and in other areas. Leadership is influence and we can’t give what we do not have so we must take care of ourselves during the holiday.

What can we do to overcome this physical fatigue? Many of us get caught caring for others so much we forget to care for ourselves. One way is taking care of our physical well-being. During the lockdown period this year people took walks to exercise. This same idea can apply during the holidays. If you are like me, you have more treats during the holidays so taking ten minutes each day to do something active can help us with our physical well-being. This could be a walk, push-ups, yoga, stretching or some level of physical activity.

Mental Self-Leadership

The physical activity not only helps our physical well-being, but can also help our mental well-being. Combine the pressures of our present circumstances with the normal work, home, and holiday pressures and you can reach the point of exploding!

So what could we do? One idea is a breath prayer or thought. Take a moment to let the stress go either through a physical response such as a breath out or a phrase like “let it go” or “it will all work out” or if you’re a person of faith you’d say “somebody bigger than me is in control.” I don’t know what phrase works for you but determine a way to release that stress in a positive way to help your mental wellness.

Social Self-Leadership

When I first talked about this the context was a little different than today. Right now any time spent in direct interaction with others can be very welcome. During this time of year we may be reminded of a loss in our life. At times we are stressed because of interactions with those in our life we prefer not to be around. In our present reality there are some topics we avoid discussing because it can increase tension. With this social tension combined with extra tension from the realities of this past year, how do we lead ourselves in this area?

Community. Who are the safe community of people you can interact and be honest with during these times? They may be from a group you are involved in or activity you participate in or a close, trusted neighbor. Whoever it is connect with them or maybe you need time to escape alone to hide in a closet or bathroom just to recharge. Depending on your personal style find a way to stay fresh socially so you can connect with others in a meaningful way.

There it is. Three areas to grow our self-leadership during these unique holiday times. If you want to see the series of videos I made on this topic last year go here for this video and you will be able to find the others as well. Make this a great week and lead well.

Nov

2019

Holiday Self-Leadership

Are you like me during the holiday season? Life is already crazy with work and home expectations, but then we pile on the sometimes unrealistic holiday expectations. For example, a self-imposed pressure to buy gifts for more people than our budget can handle.

Add to all this the excessive commitments to be at holiday experiences with your family, extended family or events at school. Everything’s constantly pulling at us, and it creates so much pressure! What can we do?

We all have a lot going on. Maybe one of these ideas will help you lower the expectation level and help you maintain perspective during this time.

Community

When you are around others ask questions to connect and be in genuine authentic community with others.

Solitude

Maybe you need to take a few minutes alone to break from the busyness. One practice I implement is starting each day reading from an inspirational book. That could be a faith-based book or something else. Find something that can help you maintain perspective and dive into it.

Realistic Goals and Expectations

Are we expecting too much or ourselves? “I have to get the perfect gift,” we think. Chances are, this person cares more about you being present than the gift you bring.

Serve Others

I know during the holiday season our family tries to help other people. In the past we’ve helped with giving gifts to families in need. During Thanksgiving time we have helped deliver meals. During Christmas we have helped wrap gifts at a community gift store. All of these help us maintain perspective.

Inexpensive Fun

One tradition our family has is driving through the local Christmas light show. We also visit the neighborhood light show that coordinates lights flashing with songs on their own music station. We drive, enjoy the display, each other and it only costs a little gas money. At the same time it helps us keep perspective, connect as a family, and lower stress.

Be Kind

If you are like me, your desire to be in control can create problems. The biggest being when people do not do things the way we want them to. Sometimes when we let go of the need to be in control we empower ourselves to lead with the kindness they deserve.

I hope one of these tips will help you manage your perspective, and not be so flustered during this time, with all the expectations and added pressures on top of leading at work and home. Which one of these can you apply to help you maintain perspective? Stay tuned as next week I’m going to share a sneak peak on tips to communicate and connect better with others during the holidays. Thanks for reading, and lead well in all you do.

Dec

2018

Perspective in Holiday Self-Leadership

Are you like me during the holiday season? Life gets crazy with the expectations at work and at home, but then we pile on the holiday expectations, and sometimes they’re unrealistic. Whether it’s a pressure internally to buy gifts for lots of people which creates a financial pressure to buy beyond your budget.

We all have a lot going on. Maybe one of these ideas will help you lower the expectation level and help you maintain perspective during this time.

Community. When you are around others ask questions to connect and be in genuine authentic community with others.
Solitude. Maybe you need to take some time alone as we are so busy with everything going on. One practice I implement is starting each day reading from an inspirational book. That could be a faith-based book or something else. Find something that can help you maintain perspective and dive into it.
Realistic goals and expectations. Are we expecting too much or ourselves? “I have to get the perfect gift,” we think. Chances are, this person cares more about you being present than the gift you bring.
Serve others. I know during the holiday season our family tries to help other people. In the past we’ve helped with giving gifts to families in need. During Thanksgiving time we have helped deliver meals. During Christmas we have helped wrap gifts at a community gift store. All of these help us maintain perspective.
Inexpensive fun. One tradition our family has is driving through the local Christmas light show that is right down the street. If we have time we visit the neighborhood light show with the lights flashing in connection with songs on their own music station. Either way we drive, enjoy the display, each other and it only costs a little gas money. At the same time it helps us keep perspective, connect as a family, and lower stress.
Be Kind. If you are like me you like to be in control and that can create problems. The biggest problem being when people do not do things the way we want them to. Sometimes when we let go of the need to be in control it enables us to treat others with the kindness they deserve.

I don’t know what will help you manage your perspective, and not be so flustered during this time, with all the expectations and added pressures on top of leading at work and leading at home. Which one of these can you apply to help you maintain perspective? Maybe you have something different you do that you can share. Whatever it may be, please share with me ways that you maintain perspective during this time of year. I hope you have found this helpful. Thanks for reading, and lead well in all you do.