Leadership

Dec

2017

What Can the Christmas Story Teach About Leadership?

Christmas is a holiday here in the states that I have mixed emotions about. On one level I love it especially because of the meaning behind it which we will explore a little more in a moment. I love the time with family and watching my children get excited. I enjoy the overall intended spirit of kindness, generosity and caring. In all honesty though I do get a bit cynical because of the consumerism that arises and the challenges that come with that aspect.

What does this holiday teach us about leadership? In this brief post I cannot go into all the great lessons we can learn, but I want to look at the Christmas story and highlight a few leadership lessons we can learn.

Whether you believe the Biblical account to be truth or a story we can all gain from what we see in the account of the birth of Jesus Christ. As I look at this account I see a courageous leader and a cowardly leader. Two men who do not know each other demonstrate the two extremes of courage.

Joseph. If you are not familiar with the story he is engaged to be married to Mary, but then finds out his wife is pregnant. As you can imagine this is quite disturbing to learn because it looks like he was with her before marriage which would bring extreme shame to him and his family. The reality was actually different than what people thought.

In the Bible in Matthew 1:18-21 it says Joseph wanted to do the right thing so he was thinking he would quietly divorce Mary, but God had a different idea. He said (this is my translation) “Um, Joe, no. This baby came from the Holy Spirit. You will have a son and name him Jesus.”

So what does this have to do with leadership? As a leader in an organization or your family you may have to make intuitive decisions. These are decisions based on a gut instinct which may have some factual information backing them, but also require courage. This was exactly what Joseph had to do. Joseph had to put his faith into action and courageously lead. Instead of leaving he had to have the courage to stay and love his new wife and raise this child.

King Herod. Now there was another man during this same time whose leadership influence was much broader than Joseph the carpenter. Herod was the Roman ruler over Judea at the time which we now know as a part of Israel. He learned a story that out of Bethlehem would come a ruler over the people of Israel. When the Magi informed him this king was about to be born his authority was threatened and he was afraid so he asked the Magi let him know of the child’s exact location when they returned.

Now the Magi had a sense of Herod’s intention to murder the child so they did not return. In Matthew 2:16 we learn that after he realized the Magi were not going to tell him he “was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under.” This response demonstrates the exact opposite of Joseph.

Herod heard something he did not want to hear and in his fear he acted cowardly instead of courageously. As a leader he could have said I will meet the family of this new “king” and develop a relationship and we can rule together. This response would take both courage and humility because when a new leader arises people want to protect their territory. But Herod tried to remove this threat through violent means.

I know it feels easier for me to protect my territory when my leadership is threatened and I am scared to enter into the unknown and trust like Joseph did. What kind of leader are you when you get news that you may not want to hear? Do you courageously, with faith, move in the direction you think you should go? Are you like Herod and stubbornly, with fear, resist this news and try to keep everything from changing by manipulating the situation? Sometimes you need someone to come alongside you to help you in the process . . . but I will talk about that next time. May you lead courageously at home and work this holiday season.

Dec

2017

Leading with Boundaries

My wife and I have three young energetic boys running around the house and neighborhood. Just like you, I have multiple people and responsibilities simultaneously pulling at me. As I think of when my children were real young I think about playgrounds. Some playgrounds were relaxing while others were not. What was the difference?

Where we live there is one playground/park that was about three stories tall and had long slides and lots to climb on. Not only that, but there was a creek nearby that at times got quite high and a large grassy field that bumped up next to a busy road. When the boys were early elementary age and younger this area stressed me out and I was constantly looking around and trying to know where the boys were. On the other hand, when I went to the boys’ elementary school with them there was a playground with a fence around it and I could sit on a bench and watch them play or push them on a swing. The latter was the relaxing one, or at least less stressful, because it had boundaries the boys could not escape.

As I think of the playground or park illustration it reminds me of a need we have in our lives whether we want to admit it or not. We have a certain amount we can handle and as leaders when we provide expectations that helps set the boundaries. Dr. Henry Cloud and John Townsend state in their book Boundaries:

“You need to realize how much time and energy you have, and manage your work accordingly. Know what you can do and when you can do it, and say no to everything else. Learn to know your limits and enforce them.”

If you lead a team or organization then clearly established boundaries will help those you lead perform at a higher level. With the playground a child knows they can go and explore and use all their creativity anywhere on the playground, but they must not go past the fence because it exists for their safety. As a caveat I am not talking about times we need to go beyond the boundaries of comfort in order to grow. I am referring to the boundaries that clarify our expectations and individual limits.

When leading a team, if they know clearly what outcome is expected a healthy leader who does not feel the need to micromanage will allow individuals to use their personal strengths and creativity to decide the best process to accomplish the goal. Similar to a teacher on a school playground, the leader may monitor and check in to see if the team needs any assistance during the process, but not tell them every step. The leader has a responsibility to understand whether the expectations are reasonable based on available time and the scope of work needed.

How are you at establishing boundaries? Do you have clarity on what you expect of those you lead? If not, what do you need to do in order to gain that clarity? Do you need to intentionally carve out time for those areas of your life you have been neglecting such as your health or family relationships? Take time and reflect on these to become a better leader today.

Dec

2017

Money and Leadership?

Have you ever been at the store and seen that great deal you just “had to have”? Being that the Holiday marketing is in full swing as I write this surely we have all experienced this lately. Maybe it was a great outfit or maybe it was a shiny new electronic item you’ve been thinking about. At work or in your business maybe it was some new software that was going to make you more effective and efficient. Yeah, it may be a little more than you want, but it will be a business expense so that means you are investing in the business and will get a return.

None of these are bad . . . if we have the cash flow, but whether in our personal or professional financial dealings, three questions may help us to make wise decisions with our resources. Years ago these nifty little plastic items were made which I am sure you are quite familiar with: credit cards. When I was about 18 I had a friend who said something like “these things are awesome, it is like having money without really having it.” Although I still keep in touch with that friend I am not certain whether he created a debt problem for himself or not. A tip I probably should have advised him of back then: If you can’t pay it off when the bill comes, don’t buy it.

What are the three questions you may be asking:

Is this something I need? – Whatever the deal we are looking at, is it something we need? If our car is broken down with hundreds of thousands of miles on it and we need it for work, then the answer is yes. Now, maybe our car has some minor cosmetic problems that ultimately will amount to less than a thousand dollars for the year. Do we really need that work done?
Is this something I want? – Something I want may be a new organizing system for my garage which will help me be more efficient and even help me eliminate clutter and be more effective. Do I need it? Not really, but it will help our overall family effectiveness because we won’t have to hunt through the garage for items, but do we have the cash flow for this? If the answer to that question is no, then I need to wait.
Is this something I simply desire? – Years ago one of our electronic devices broke which we used to watch movies. This was connected to an entire surround sound system. I could not replace the individual device, I had to replace the entire system. Well, I decided it was time for a major upgrade and bought individual components to improve the overall system. This was NOT a need. This was a want, but ultimately it was a desire . . . something I could easily live without. So how did I pay for it . . . with my saved up birthday and Christmas money so it did not impact our family budget, just my personal savings of multiple years.

As you look at that purchase, before opening your wallet ask: do I need this? Do I want this? Is this simply a desire I can live without and the money would be spent better elsewhere? Spending more at the need and want level and staying within our limits will help maintain the financial balance we need to lower stress levels both at work and home. As we are able to keep this stress to a minimum this helps us think better by freeing our creativity and enabling us to lead well. What adjustment do you need to make in this area so you can lead better in other areas?

Nov

2017

What Black Friday Taught Me About Sacrifice

I am either the best dad in the world or the dumbest man on the planet. It was “Black Friday” which for those who do not know that is the day all the “great deals” occur at the stores in the United States so people can get great deals on Christmas gifts. This is also the day many businesses get out of debt and become profitable hence the name.

One of my children had been saving money for months for a specific handheld video game console and it was sold out on the internet and the stores I had gone to already. As a last resort I got up at 3 AM for a sale that started at 6 AM. Being the type “A” personality that I am I bring my laptop to write this and work on some other things as well.

Now, what are my motives? My wife suggested I secretly love the whole ordeal . . . maybe. I suggest I am kind of stupid and enjoy sleep deprivation and can’t stand to see my son not save $100 on something he has saved so long for. Either way as I sat and waited a principle from John Maxwell’s book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership came to mind. The law of sacrifice says that in order to go up you have to give up.

Now in leadership positions at work this is easy to understand. As you gain more responsibility there is more strain on your time and less freedom to do what you want. The CEO potentially has less time and more high stakes pressure than the sales people beginning in the field.

I am a father of three sons and as I sat at this big box store I had to think how this applies to me as a parent. If I am going to be a parent and not just a man with children I HAVE to sacrifice. Why did I go to that store? In part because I love my child and I know how much happiness it will give him to not only be able to own what he has been saving for, but also have money left for more games. To see him happy makes me happy.

All I am sacrificing is a little sleep, but as a dad I feel a responsibility to help my son manage his money well and be a good steward of the resources he has been entrusted with and this is a small sacrifice to hopefully help him understand this. The sacrifice must be ongoing for me. I must be willing to give up leisure time to play a game with my children when part of me wants to do something else. I must be willing to put my agenda aside and listen to their struggles even when I am exhausted and ready to go to bed.

As a father, the Law of Sacrifice is unending and this was a tiny example of the application of this law. You see in order for my influence with my children to increase I must be willing to sacrifice in a manner that lets them know I care. As we know, if those who lead us at work and home care for us we are more likely to listen to them. What do you need to give up to go up in order to improve your leadership with your family or others you lead?

Nov

2017

Who Do You Allow to Influence You?

The rule of 5. The Law of the Inner Circle as leadership expert John Maxwell calls it in his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. Your personal executive team. You can call it many different things, but this group of people will either help or hinder your personal and professional momentum.

The rule of 5. I have heard it said that the five people closest to us most impact the person we become. I have often interacted with youth who have recently made a poor decision that landed them in trouble. In some situations I have known the people they are friends with. I share with them this principle. If they are surrounding themselves with people who are a negative influence and encourage poor choices, then they need to change who those five closest people are.

The Law of the Inner Circle. Who do you let closest to you? Are they people who encourage you toward your dream? Are they positive and encouraging or do they either actively or passively discourage you in your pursuit of great goals? Maybe they are simply apathetic and neither encourage nor discourage you. We live in a discouraging world often times already so we must surround ourselves with people who encourage and empower us toward our goals.

Your personal executive team. Are there people in your life who will speak the truth when you need to hear it in a loving manner? One of the critical mistakes we make as people is not listening to what we don’t want to hear. I am fortunate to be married to a wonderful wife who is very different from me. Now understand I do not initially take criticism or the truth well. I get a bit defensive and need time to process and evaluate what someone has told me. When I mess up I often know it, but need to reflect and learn from the mistake before I talk about it more. I must have not only my wife, but other people in my life to hold me accountable, help me see life from a different perspective and bounce ideas off of.

Organically I create this through who I seek out for advice. Do I seek out people who only tell me what I want to hear or who are at the same stage of life as me? I try and seek out individuals further along in the journey and can speak truth whether I want to hear it or not. Another way we can develop a strong inner circle are through intentional groups or individual relationships. Groups such as masterminds where people come together to interact over similar material and learn both from the material and one another or hiring a coach to help you think into your life and leadership.

So where are you at? Do the people in your life want to grow and reach their full potential or stay safe and comfortable? The type of people we allow closest to us will most impact the person we become so who do you want near you? Think of who you need to add and who you may need to limit in your life and make the necessary adjustments so you can grow your influence as a leader.

Oct

2017

Are You A Leader?

I was standing in front of a class of High School Freshmen and Sophomores. I asked one question: do you think you are a leader? A few hands went up. Some of them were bold and confident while others were hesitant and unsure. The majority kept their hands down. I then shared a story with these young men and women.

When I was a teenager I sat next to a random group of guys my Junior year. One day we were talking, well I was listening, and this individual shared his story of evading a police officer to get a ticket. The story was entertaining and I will spare you all the details, but later it must have been subconsciously in my mind.

I was driving out of my neighborhood in my parents 80’s Cutlass Calais . . . which is not known for speed like my friends car was. I was going about 40 MPH in a 25 MPH zone when I saw a police officer. Like a smart teenager at the time as I saw him turn around I slammed on the gas whipping through neighborhoods, as fast as a car that peaks at about 100 MPH can. Eventually it dawns on me that I am not going to get away and I pull over.

As I shared that story with the students I brought to their attention the reality that I was being led by the people at my table. How? Influence. Leadership is influence and we are leading people we live with, work with, and have fun with every day whether we know it or not.

I don’t know about you, but many times I feel like I am not influencing anyone and at other times . . . like when I see my children act out negative behavior . . . I question whether I am using my influence well. What are ways we use our influence? Here are a few to consider:

Work habits – those closest to us at work and home see how we work and if we procrastinate or get our responsibilities completed in a timely fashion. If we are a formal or informal leader to them then we influence the kind of work habits they develop or will demonstrate.
People habits – as a parent I see my poor influence on handling conflict. I am a bit impatient and tend to raise my voice instead of remaining calm when the tension rises between siblings. As these boys have aged I see they have caught that and they tend to raise their voices at each other and escalate conflict instead of deescalating it. Maybe if I learn how to remain calm it will influence them.
Time habits – at work do the people around me see an appropriate balance between work and personal life? Do people see that I am productive and manage my time in a way that gets results while leaving room for building relationships? At home do we run from activity to activity or is there intentional down time to connect with one another which may be as simple as a regular meal together.

Whether at work or home we are always leading ourselves and others. These were just a few areas we are influencing others. Do you want to grow in your influence? Do you want to become more intentional in leading in a manner that influences others in the right direction and know you are not alone? What is one way today you can lead yourself and others in work, people and time? Let me know so I can learn from you.