Leadership

Oct

2017

Leading the Next Generation

Recently I was talking to a business owner and we were discussing the challenges he faces as a leader. One he discussed was working with “Millennials.” Now I do not intend to offend anyone with my post especially those who do not like labels. Labels are beneficial to provide a language for us to communicate more clearly about a specific group of people.

As I researched the idea of leading millennials I found a post that discussed a concept similar to a principle that John Maxwell discusses in his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership. The post encouraged leaders to “be the right person” in order to win the respect of millennials.¹ This is a similar concept to John’s Law of Magnetism which says “who you are is who you attract.”²

I am a very direct person so I will connect with those who value candor and authenticity because that is my natural way of being. I am also very driven which causes me to gravitate to similar individuals. This is fine if I want a team of clones, but in the end I need people around me who have different, complementary personalities and strengths, but similar values. So do I, do we, need to change who we are in order to work with the next generation.

I would suggest we do not need to change who we are, but how we are. For example, being driven I tend to focus on tasks more than relationships. If I want to lead a team of productive and caring individuals I have to be that myself. Leading people is complicated, but no matter the generation we all want to know if others truly care about us and if we matter to them.

When we lead the next generation maybe these few ideas will help:

Take time to let them know you care. Maybe that is buying them lunch and getting to know more about them beyond what they can do for you as an employee.
Understand what is important to them. One of the principles Maxwell discusses is “people are attracted to leaders whose values are similar to their own.” With that in mind when looking to hire millennial employees understand what they value and whether or not it aligns with what you value.
Find a partner in the mission. As you seek to lead the next generation is there someone in your organization from that generation who understands what the vision of the company is and has bought into it? If so, develop a strong relationship with that person so he/she can become an ally in helping peers to join in the mission. Seek out this person’s perspective on how to achieve specific goals and he or she may give you fresh insight on how to cast the vision in a way that will attract the next generation.
Be humble and teachable. As the leader you may have more experiences, but the next generation has much to teach you. Build a relationship with enough openness to ideas that those you lead can share with you without feeling they may receive repercussions.

These are a few suggestions. Maybe you have some strategies that you have found effective for leading the next generation. Please share them so we can learn from one another.

https://www.thebalance.com/tips-for-retaining-millennial-employees-1918679 accessed 6/27/17
Maxwell, John. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership.

Sep

2017

Leadership Lesson from a Miserable Run

I enjoy exercising. Mainly at this stage of life I exercise to manage my eating addiction. I kind of like food . . . especially sweets. I do not enjoy running though, but I occasionally run for about 20 minutes. One day I got up and wanted to get my workout done without going to the gym so I could return home to help my wife before getting work done so I went on a run.

When I run I do not want to hear myself pant so I usually have my music with me. Less than five minutes into the run my music was not accessible. Oh, I forgot to tell you that while I was running there was a light drizzle which was tolerable.

Light drizzle, no distraction of music and then my cranky right knee starts to ache. I wasn’t far from the house I could have turned around and quit, but I am stubborn and I like my desserts. I continued slowly plodding along and then I turned the corner and the drizzle was now blowing in my face and extremely annoying.

At this point I am starting to ask myself why I am doing this when I could have gone to the gym and used the elliptical in dry conditions and been distracted both by my music and a book. (Yes, I read when I am on the elliptical) At this point I am halfway through and I just keep running.

I turn another corner so the rain is no longer blowing in my face and I am nearing the part of my run where I give my joints some relief by running in the grass. I contemplate staying on the concrete and asphalt, but I don’t. I take my first step in the grass and squish. My socks are now soaked, I am getting wetter by the moment and am miserable just wanting this run to be done.

Since I have nothing to do other than think I start to ponder how this experience relates to leadership. . . I know I’m strange. When we lead we may have an idea of what we are getting into. We may start with great enthusiasm and have all the tools or we may start with faith entering into the unknown.

No matter how we start, trials and challenges will come. Leading a family we don’t know what tragedies big or small are going to hit our family emotionally, physically, socially, economically or anything else. Leading at work we don’t know what obstacles will prevent us from closing the deal, advancing the cause, helping people work at the highest level, etc.

As a leader at work or home we all have a choice. Even within the first five minutes of my run I had to choose will I persevere or quit? There has been a slowdown at work and we are experiencing increased pressure to perform, persevere or quit? The business you are building is not happening as quickly as you want, persevere or quit? Our marriage hits a bump, will we persevere or quit? Raising children is not as easy as anticipated: persevere or quit?

A man who was living for a great cause had great adversity on his journey and he said in part “I will press on toward the goal . . . “ Will you press on, trudging through the difficulties to ultimately accomplish the goal? I hope you do so that you can realize your full potential.

By the way . . . when I did finish I felt a sense of accomplishment . . . so now I could eat dessert later.

Aug

2017

Are you a Control Freak?

As a type A personality I confess I can be a real pain to other people. I often struggle with wanting control and I think that in having complete control I am leading well. The first problem with that thinking is I can only control so much therefore I limit my effectiveness. The second problem with that is I may think I am empowering others when I give them a project to work on, but in reality I am not.

“You are giving away control” you may say thinking that you are empowering. What happens after the project, job, task is handed off? This reveals the truth of whether I am a truly empowering leader. I once had a boss who did not understand the details of my daily work and expected me to do certain aspects in a particular way without taking time to understand what I do. This boss is an example of a micromanager.

When I hand off a task and then try to make sure the task is done exactly how I would do it . . . I am neither delegating nor empowering, but I am micromanaging and probably making that individual or team feel like they are chained down. On the other hand if I provide expectations and the end goal I want accomplished and check in on progress on a regular basis I am then macromanaging and empowering others. In his book The New Psycho-Cybernetics Dr. Maxwell Maltz states: “The micromanager often inhibits the growth and prosperity of the organization; the macromanager often liberates it.”

As a leader and person I want people to feel empowered to use their talents and abilities to lead and grow to their full potential. I need to be aware of my own insecurities, provide clear direction and see the reality that others can do many projects better than me. General George S. Patton put it this way: “Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.” (emphasis added)

Are you like me and you need to simply take a deep breath, relax, and trust the competent people around you? When we do this better we add value to others and are on our way to becoming leaders that others will want to follow.

Aug

2017

Climbing and Leadership

I have three boys and before each son starts First grade I take them to a local climbing facility as a father/son rite of passage experience since officially starting elementary school can be a big deal. Recently I took my youngest to the local climbing facility. Since he had never climbed before he was a bit anxious when we started.

He steps up to the wall and tentatively climbs a few blocks high. He then asks me to bring him down and after a moment he begins climbing a little higher than before. At this point he wants down again and sets a new goal. He reaches his new goal, but fear strikes and he wants me to let him down. At this point, he is reluctant to climb further.

As he stalls and delays at the bottom I do my best to encourage him and let him know I believe he has what it takes to get there. During this time he starts asking about the rope and attempts to determine if it will hold him if he falls. To help his trust in the safety harness and me I have him climb up a little and let go with his hands. After a bit of time he seems to feel more confident and I tell him he cannot come down this time until he reaches the top.

He scurries up the first portion of the wall and I can see he wants to quit, but I challenge him that he can and is expected to get to the top. As he continues to climb I help him to see what he cannot see since he is in the middle of the experience. I give suggestions on places to put his feet or hand holds. Afterward we reflect on how this relates to his future experience in first grade and beyond. As I think about that experience I see a few leadership lessons through this experience.

Be brave – as we look at the goal we want to accomplish it may seem extremely overwhelming and impossible to accomplish. The bravest choice we may need to make is to take the first step
Persevere – when we are in the middle of the climb we get stuck and can’t see the next step. This is the point where we need to keep our eye on the goal and simply take the next step. Visit the next client, have that crucial conversation, do the work, etc.
Perspective – as my son became comfortable with the process he would occasionally check to make sure I still had him and then he would hang, rest, and try to figure out the path. At times as we lead the team, group, organization, family, or ourselves we need to push away from the activity and take in the bigger picture to figure out the next step to get where we need to go.
Trust – the biggest hurdle my son had to overcome in the beginning is trusting the rope would hold him and that I was doing my job to keep him safe. As we lead, a team will be involved and there must be mutual trust. This takes time, but similar to my son as the trust increased so did his ability to overcome more challenges and reach new heights.

These were just a few thoughts. What about you? What is the wall in front of you that you are struggling to climb? What is the first step you need to take? Do you need to simply take the first step and then pause to get clarity on the next step? Do you need a guide to ask questions to help you figure out how to keep reaching higher? Of these four areas which one will you take the next step to grow in today? Need help with your growth journey? Let me know here and we can climb together to help you lead your business, your organization, team or you personally.

Jun

2017

Reflections on Leadership from El Salvador

A couple weeks ago I had the opportunity to spend time with my oldest son at an orphanage in El Salvador. After spending a week serving these young children and trying to demonstrate unconditional love I want to take a moment to reflect on what this experience taught me about leadership.

Leadership is being present. Each of these young children has their own specific home they live in with other children of similar age. In order to care for these children they have “Tias” who take care of them. As I think of each of these women I think of women who are tirelessly serving these children as parents. The most challenging part for them must be the act of being present not only physically, but emotionally in order to provide for them emotionally, physically, spiritually and in every other manner. As a parent or leader of an organization we can go through the motions or we can be present and intentionally engage with those we lead.

Leadership is being understanding. These young men and women come from very challenging environments which could serve as an excuse for bad behavior. In this environment there are expected standards to follow in order to stay at the home, but the leaders understand the situations they came from are less than ideal. For example, one young man had been living homeless on the street for seven years . . . and he is now only about 13. A leader will hold others to high standards, but also be understanding of where those who follow them are coming from.

Leaders persevere. The director of this organization has a tough job. She has to find the right people to take care of these children as well as decide who the appropriate children are to bring in the facility. People quit, children make bad choices and have to be asked to leave and the overwhelming burden of each of child’s story can weigh this individual down. When as a leader she sees the importance and significance of what she is trying to accomplish this helps her persevere through the many trials and tribulations. Do I have a big enough vision for what I am leading that I will persevere?

Leaders care. I did not get to know each child’s story, but the directors do and I am sure the “Tias” also know many of their stories as well. This knowledge must be a part of showing unconditional care for those they lead. Although these children came from difficult circumstances, I know they are well cared for from those who lead the organization and in each of their homes.

Being a leader is easier when you can see the return on your time, but when you don’t it requires even more caring, understanding, perseverance, and presence. Not only did I meet some wonderful young men and women who are in an environment where they can overcome their past, but I met some heroic leaders. Every day I need to hold a vision of living past the temporary and leading for what will outlast me. I hope you can do the same.

Jun

2017

How a Father Leads

I have the privilege of being the father of three young boys. This privilege is quite overwhelming at times. For example, I just returned from an overseas serving experience with my oldest son. My biggest fear was not health issues or safety, but me ruining the experience for my son.

Unfortunately I tend to be very impatient. It most likely comes from my control freak issues and my driven personality. . . not a great combination. With that being said going into this experience I was concerned I would frustrate my child with putting unrealistic expectations on him. I had a small victory and during our seven day experience I did not “lose it” on him . . . too much. What helped more than anything else was having other members of the team to help him when he needed something mom provides better than me such as compassion.

As this Father’s Day ends I reflect on what a man needs to do to lead well in his family. Before saying anything else I must admit much of my thinking has been influenced by a book by Stu Weber called Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart and the influential thoughts of a man named Robert Lewis.

Lewis defines a man as one who:

Rejects being passive.

Accepts Responsibility.

Lives Courageously.

Expects the greater reward. This is the reward that will come later in life or beyond and not immediately.

As I look at that definition I am overwhelmed by the reality that I should seek to be an example of that kind of man. I mess up A LOT and fail to live up to that standard. I am responsible for appropriately disciplining my children, but at times I hear myself saying “I am too tired.” I have to buck up and lovingly discipline or simply listen actively when my child has something to say. Both require rejecting passivity.

I am a model to my children on how to love my wife well. I fail at that A LOT too. One way I need to lead courageously is by modeling healthy conversations with my spouse. Conflict is normal in a marriage, but I need to listen and part of me is a chicken and wants to run away. I need to model courage by staying and listening instead of just trying to prove my point.

One of the four pillars Weber discusses in his book is the need for a man to be a king. In any building, if a pillar leans too far to the left or right it will not be a strong support. As men we can easily lean to the side of being too passive or too overbearing. Weber calls us to strive to live in the middle as a shepherd-king. This requires awareness and humility to accept feedback when we are “leaning” too far to one side. I personally tend to lean too far to the domineering side, but fortunately people close to me will let me know to help put me back in place.

For some of you reading this the father idea is very frustrating to say the least. Maybe you don’t know your dad, maybe your child’s dad is not around, maybe you feel you can’t be a man like Lewis defined or you can’t find a man striving to live close to the example Weber states. First, your past does not define your future. Men, you can take the initiative and grow into the man you desire to become. It takes time and effort, but is possible. Women, if there is no man around for your children, may I encourage you to seek out those role models for them which may be coaches, youth leaders, neighbors or who knows, but they do exist. I hope those of you who have struggled with your own dad can forgive him and remember we only have one dad. Let him know how much you love him before you can’t.

Next time I will fill you in on what I learned about leadership from my international experience. Lead well at home and work until then and share this with anyone you may think it would add value to.

P.S. Any dads who want to learn more about growing in your leadership at home and work send me an email at randy@wheelercoachingsystems.com