LIMITING BELIEFS

Oct

2022

Roadblocks to Momentum Part III

I was standing about to step off the edge into what I could not see. I would be staring at a wall of rock the entire time hoping I would not crash into the wall and break my legs or plummet to the ground uncontrollably and die. This experience of rappelling off a rock is like stepping into the unknown of building a business.

At the point of jumping for either experience we battle mental monsters. Two voices compete in our mind and more often than I want to admit the negative voice wins and blocks my momentum. This voice is the voice of limiting beliefs. This voice often pushes us toward what Carol Dweck calls a fixed mindset in her book Mindset which I talked more in depth about here. For now, allow me to suggest three ways we may limit our momentum.

Past Experiences

Up until that point I had never jumped off a rock into the unknown with someone at bottom I am trusting my life to. All my past experiences say that if I jump into the unknown I will get hurt. These same experiences impact how much we are willing to move forward.

For years I had a “secure” paycheck and to build a business required . . . well I didn’t know exactly. I knew it required a lot of work and would be exciting, but also terrifying because I still had to feed my family and pay bills. Not only at jumping point, but daily I choose to step into growth and the unknown even though I do not know what to expect. Instead of allowing past experiences to limit me, movement continues the momentum.

Results

Once I stepped off the ledge and fell into the unknown my heart was beating and then my feet hit the wall, flexed my knees, and pushed myself away. With each contact I grew more confident, and the momentum grew. This is no different in other area we are trying to gain momentum.

In other industries I had experienced success. These results encouraged my belief I could be successful in a new endeavor. Momentum is easy to maintain when we see results that are evident like on the mountain wall. The limiting beliefs creep in when we see results that could reinforce the thought we can’t do it. What do we do? Borrow belief from those ahead in the journey or get people in our life who can help us identify the lies and replace them with truth.

History

You may not be a person of faith or agree with this idea but stick with me for the sake of illustration. I’ve heard it said that when the devil reminds you of your past (failures), remind him of his future (destruction). We all fail and may think because of our past lack of experience, failures, or . . . that we can’t do what we are envisioning.

There is truth that we may have limitations we need to grow through or get people around us to help us when we are weak. Sometimes though, we are simply limiting ourselves by believing lies. One of my mentors introduced me to a great phrase. “Up until now” I haven’t or couldn’t . . . just because we haven’t done it YET doesn’t mean we will not eventually succeed.

What is limiting you? I know sometimes I need someone to come alongside me to help me get out of my own way. Maybe people on your team struggle with one or all of these. If I can help you and those you lead gain momentum through breaking through these barriers contact me so we can discover ways I can serve you. Lead well.

Sep

2019

I Can’t . . . Yet

A number of years ago I joined the John Maxwell Team. This is a group of individuals who are independently certified to speak, teach, and coach using John Maxwell’s proven leadership content. If you have never heard of John, he has been named by INC magazine as the number one leadership expert in the world.

A couple years before I joined this global team of over 25,000 people I earned my Masters in Organizational Leadership. At that point, my wife asked, “what are you going to do with it?”

Since I am a wise individual who always has plans made and completely figured out, I said . . . “I don’t know.” Now I have been on a journey of trying to add value to others to help today’s leaders reach their full potential and inspiring youth to see how to be effective transformational leaders for tomorrow. This is an uphill journey.

John Maxwell and some of the others who I have a privilege of being mentored by in this program have reminded me “anything worthwhile is uphill.” With this uphill climb I often have to overcome my downhill habits. Lately I have increasing awareness that some of my biggest downhill habits are in the way I think.

Four-Letter Words

Growing up we have all heard not to say certain four-letter words. Here is one, well technically it has six letters, that creeps into my mind often either subtly or directly: CAN’T.

I have seen as I attempt to meet a new person who may help me expand the business, try a new skill I have not used often, or have a challenging conversation this word creeps in. It appears like a snake sneaking up and quietly hissing in my ear ideas like you aren’t qualified, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have the credibility and at times gets to the point of suggesting I just give up on what I am pursuing.

Change the Question

So what happens when these thoughts creep in? At times I want to give into them and have a great pity party. I have been reminded by some of the mentors I have access to that I need to change the question. Instead of focusing on limited resources, time, experience, etc. I need to ask one of two questions:

What CAN I do?

I may not be speaking in front of tens of thousands and sharing principles to lead better at work or home . . . yet. But I can speak in front of a small group. I can make a phone call to meet the person who can help me take the next step.

How CAN I?

This question assumes we can, but also asks for the next step. Say you want to take your family on a cruise, but right now your savings is negative. Instead of just asking how this would be possible, look at what you can do . . . save change, do odd jobs, get another job, close more deals, make it a family savings event, cut spending, or any number of options. Then take the next step.

I don’t know about you, but I can be greatest limiter to moving in the direction of my dream. I must get out of my own way and take the next step. It won’t go perfect and I will make mistakes . . . . but that is a topic for another day.

What about you? What CAN you do to lead that team toward its goal or accomplish a family dream? How CAN you get there? What is next. When you hear that little four letter word maybe you just need to add a three letter word of YET and take the next step. If you need help thinking into your leadership personally or professionally or breaking through limiting beliefs, contact me and let’s talk. Lead Well!

Jul

2017

From Can I? to How Can I?

I don’t know about you, but often in my leadership journey at both work and home I struggle with my own self-doubt and what are called limiting beliefs. I get caught in the comparison game and look at others’ “highlight reel” and fail to realize that is not the entire story.

Think of an earthquake. A subtle shift between two plates creates huge waves of cataclysmic proportions that can create massive destruction. Here is the subtle shift I need to regularly make and maybe you do too. Change the question from “can I?” which is full of self-doubt and beliefs that limit us from reaching our full potential to “how can I?”

One word makes all the difference. Often this word “how” can limit us from stepping out to try something new, but in this case it encourages us to move into action. These three words assume there is a way to achieve the dream we are pursuing and we just have to find the map to get there. This will be challenging though.

John Maxwell in his book The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth states: “Can I? is a question filled with hesitation and doubt . . . How can I? assumes there is a way. You just need to find it.” So how do we find it? Here are a few ideas.

Act – if we stay stuck worrying about whether or not we can do something the only action we will take is exhausting ourselves with worry. An idea comes to mind as a next step to get you to your goal. Take the step.
Think – sometimes we ask can I? because it enables us to not have to think into the answer that how can I? requires of us. In order to figure out the how, we must take time to think . . . creatively and for those of us with a bias toward action thinking feels like we are not being productive.
Discern – when we have appropriate self-awareness we are able to see the reasons behind our hesitation or doubt when we pursue accomplishing our vision. For example are we afraid to start because of a fear of failure or even a fear of success? Is our hesitation because we look at what we have done in the past and allow that to determine what we will do in the future? As we discern our limiting beliefs and replace them with empowering beliefs we will move from Can I? to How Can I? and eventually to I Did!

I have not mastered this in any way. If you are like me then the principles above and following questions will help you break through your barriers to accomplishing what you desire. What is holding you back? What is the big dream you are hesitating to pursue because you don’t know if you can do it? What limiting beliefs are you accepting that hold you back? Are you taking time to think into possible solutions to move you forward? Are you taking action that will move you a step closer to your goal? In the words of the infamous NIKE slogan . . . . just do it . . . now.