When I sit across from leaders, we often discuss their interactions with the people they lead. Leadership is all about inspiring and getting the most out of people. Management is concerned with systems and processes.
I think of the Law of Buy-In from John Maxwell’s book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership which says:
“People Buy into the Leader, Then the Vision”
Let’s examine three ways people can buy into you as a leader. Each has its own value. Decide where you are strive to see your team.
Loved
When I’m saying loved I am not talking about this superstar, swooning type of perspective of you as a leader. I am thinking of the type of love that respects the leader and assumes their best intent.
Think of your children or another family member. Regardless of what has happened in life on some level you love that person. They may tick you off, but you know their heart is good and you assume the best from them. You don’t completely sever the relationship just because of a frustrating moment.
Leaders who love those they lead assume the best and respect them. The same is often returned to them as the leader.
Liked
Let me be honest. I love my wife of twenty-two years completely, but some days I don’t like her . . . and I am sure the feeling is mutual. 😊 When we are liked as a leader people want to spend time with us. I would suggest something draws people to us.
At first it may be charisma meaning our ability to connect with people. Over time as people get to know us, do they like spending time with us? There can be a limitation to being liked. If as a leader we value being liked too highly, we can’t lead. 
As leaders we must make difficult decisions people will not like. If we are always trying to keep people happy or be their “friend” we will never gain their respect. Ultimately we will limit our leadership. Liking is a part of the equation, but cannot be the most important factor.
Trusted
If we are honest, as leaders we like to be in control. Maybe you started what you lead and feel a lot of ownership. Maybe you struggle to let go of a responsibility because you don’t think anyone can do it as good as you. As leaders our people need to trust us, and we need to trust them.
Jim Burke the former Chairman and CEO of Johnson & Johnson said:
“Trust is absolutely key to long-term success.”
I won’t go into how to build trust. That is for another day. For the sake of this blog, trust is when we are willing to completely let go of control and give a responsibility to another person with little compulsion to over manage. As a leader do we trust our people? Do your people know you trust them or do they feel you are always hovering over them?
Trust takes the most time to build and is quickly lost. The foundation of building that trust as the leader is consistency. Consistency in action, follow-through, and communication to start.
Evaluate these three areas and even question your team this week on how they see you. Do they love/respect you? Do they like being around you more often than not? Do they feel controlled or trusted by you? Need help thinking into this? Contact me for a powerful coaching session at no cost to you. Keep growing in these areas to help you lead from a healthy spot and lead a healthy team. Lead Well.
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