SELF LEADERSHIP

May

2024

Blocking Burnout

You are running hard, maybe even burning the candle at both ends. The pressure of work and life is getting to you and you feel it crushing in. What do you do?

Leading is not easy and there is stress at work, but then life happens and amplifies the pressure. You start to feel frustrated with work. Are you experiencing burnout?

Let me help you answer the first question by pulling from the expertise of those at the Mayo Clinic. Look at the following questions to explore if you are on the verge of job burnout. After that I’ll provide a few simple ideas on how to counteract this challenge.

Symptoms of Burnout¹

Are you questioning the value of your work?
Are you having a hard time getting motivated to do your work?
Are you lacking energy to do your job well?
Do you not feel much satisfaction when you get something done?
Has your sleep changed?
Are you using food, drugs or alcohol to feel better or numb your feelings?

According to the Mayo Clinic if you said yes to any of these questions you may have job burnout or possibly other health conditions. Talking to a health care professional or mental health expert may be your best next step.

Maybe you just are sensing the beginning of some of these symptoms and some minor adjustments could help you. I know I would answer yes to some of these at times when I am in a phase of running hard and/or life has hit. Here are a few ideas that may help you get back to a better state.

Unplug

This first one can be the most difficult. Simply shut it all down. Don’t check e-mail, text, or any other form of communication. Turn off the computer and simply sit. I am a doer and I like getting stuff done. I find, though, if I never unplug I start getting more frustrated by the overwhelm of the “to dos.”

Think of where you could unplug and set a regular time to disconnect and slow down. The challenge with unplugging is many of us then still want to “do” something so these next two ideas may help you fill the vacuum and help light the fire.

Exercise

This may be a bad or guilt-inducing word for you. I am not talking about some huge exercise routine five days a week for an hour. Some research has shown that regular exercise can positively affect how we respond to stress.² This regular exercise could be as simple as a walk around the office for a few minutes or a longer daily walk at lunch.

Exercise helps me free up my mind to wander and get new ideas as well as challenge myself. Although the work itself may not feel enjoyable during, I always feel better emotionally and the energy I have afterward. Find some type of exercise you enjoy and build a time to do it in your schedule. I could be walking, golfing, pickleball, strength training, or any number of activities. Do something and see how it helps your mindset.

Recharge

We have unplugged, but we eventually need to plug back in. Ultimately the desire is to be more energized afterward. What recharges you? Maybe it is exercise or sports activities which help you care for yourself physically and mentally. It could be a hobby such as woodworking or knitting. Maybe doing tasks around the house such as cleaning, landscaping, mowing the lawn or something else gives you a sense of accomplishment and energizes you.

During this unplugged time use the time to re-energize yourself. A nap, read a book, spend time with family, exercise, talk with friends. At times we have to grind through, but even amidst the grind we have to find ways to recharge or we become less effective.

Which of these do you need to focus on to prevent burnout? Take time today to create a plan and put it in your schedule so you can lead yourself and others more effectively. Need help creating your plan? Contact me for a no cost to you coaching session to help you think into your personal vision and growth. Lead Well.

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/burnout/art-20046642 retrieved 4/26/24
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4013452/ retrieved 4/26/24

Aug

2023

Burning Passion

I was in the backyard cleaning up the bushes I had cut down and to save some garbage bags I built a fire to burn a lot of the remnants. As I was going back and forth feeding the fire I was thinking about how this is similar to keeping our leadership passion alive.

Let’s be honest. There are days we get a dip, and the original passion is not there. We get frustrated with life and the responsibilities of leading. Or we are simply tired and need a break. As I thought about this fire concept, I thought of four places we could be when it comes to our passion for leading.

Leaves

When you put leaves on the fire they burn fast and make a cool crackling sound sometimes. They are fun to watch but flame out and increase the smoke.

This is what I would call squirrel leadership. We get excited because some external force like a book, a conference, or a conversation gets us excited. When everyone around us is excited, we are excited, but then we flame out quickly. This kind of leadership leaves people frustrated because we have no sustained focus.

Twigs

As I was working on this project, it was exhausting. I was dealing with a bunch of leaves and twigs. Twigs burn longer than leaves, but to keep the fire going I had to constantly go back and forth adding more twigs.

This is experience leadership. We are fired up when we get the new deal, are at the event or whatever gives us that dopamine rush. Then we flame out until we find the next deal, new project, event, etc.

This kind of leadership leaves (no pun intended) people exhausted. Similar to above, the leader has a lack of focus. Unlike above, the leader gets excited about a new vision after some experience and the team doesn’t experience consistency. The leader is either high or low and the team is never sure what they will get.

Logs

When I build a fire to relax around and talk I throw on some logs. There are twigs to get us started, but the logs keep the fire burning consistently. Occasionally I have to turn the log or put another on the fire, which creates a long, slow burn.

This is steady leadership. A leader who is like a log has a deep, steady passion for what he or she leads. This is a leader who is clear on the vision but will adjust the plan strategically to accomplish it. This leader brings reassurance to the team that we are going somewhere and there is a plan.

Embers

These come after logs have burned down. They look cool from afar, but if you get your hand close they are intensely hot. These are what you use to cook your hotdog or slowly roast a nice brown marshmallow.

This is intense and confident leadership. The logs have burned down to embers meaning time has passed, and the vision is clearly working because there is still a fire. This leader from afar looks calm and collected, but up close, he or she has just as much passion as in the beginning. The passion is actually hotter because the results have strengthened the leader’s confidence.

Which of these resonates with where your passion for your vision is now? Are you flaming out as quickly as you are excited? Do you need to get around others who will help you learn and grow to light your fire? Do you need to tweak your vision and add another log? Is it time to light others on fire with your burning embers? Leadership is influence, and fires start with a tiny spark. What do you need to light your fire, or whose fire do you need to light today? Need a thinking partner to give a little oxygen to help strengthen your fire? Contact me for a one-on-one coaching session to think into your leadership. Keep the fire burning and lead well.

Apr

2023

Getting Out of the Pit

I had just left the meeting.

It went horribly!

Maybe you know the type. The kind where you feel like you just crashed and burned and then blew up at the end. It was an utter, dismal failure. To such a point that I was ready to quit.

The thoughts were running through my head, such as “you can never be good at this.” Or “I will never succeed.” Those were just a couple of the thoughts as I mentally threw haymakers at myself.

Recently I was reading the book Boundaries for Leaders, and I learned about Martin Seligman’s three “P’s.” As I reflect on that situation I realize I was taking myself down the pit these three P’s lead us to.

Allow me to explain the three P’s and suggest a way to lead ourselves better to prevent allowing them to take us into the pit of despair.

Personal

In my situation, I was taking the result and assuming that it was my fault that I would not succeed. We need to assume responsibility for our actions, but that is all. We can’t assume responsibility for the actions or responses of others. When we slip down the slope of personalizing the situation we say to ourselves that we are bad. We make the negative result all about us. Nothing is 100% about us.

Pervasive

As I slid further down the pit I thought that not only was this one situation bad, but so were all sorts of other things. When we slide here we allow ourselves to get into a negative mindset seeing the bad in all situations. This can be shifted, but I will get to that in just a moment.

Permanent

This is the point where I got and sent a text to my mentor and coach “I’m ready to quit.” This was when I thought it would never get better. This will always be this bad. Why should I even try? We have hit the bottom of the pit at this point and need to find a way to dig out.

How do we dig out?

People

Just like I sent that text when we feel ourselves sliding into the pit we need people we can reach out to. These would be people in our inner circle who help us and will graciously speak truth into our lives.

Positive

A slight shift could have helped me not go deeper as I slid into the pervasive mode. Focusing on the things that have gone well in the past. What we focus on expands. If we focus in a negative moment on all the negative . . . that is all we will see. On the other hand, if we find positive in these negative moments and continue to focus on that we prevent our slide.

Perspective

Cloud describes an exercise where you draw a line down the middle of a page. On one side write down all that you can’t control. Chances are this is a lot of the negative. After you have finished that list put an X through it and stop focusing on it.

On the other side of the paper write down all that you can control. This exercise helps us regain perspective and reframe our mind on the positive in a practical way.

We are the most difficult people to lead. I hope this serves as a tool to help you lead yourself more effectively to improve your mindset and results. Want to dive deeper into winning the mental battle? Check out this resource to help you continue to grow in this area. Lead Well.

Jan

2023

Tips For Time Management

I was facilitating The Maxwell Leadership Game with a group of people recently, and everyone was sharing what they do to prioritize their time. As an entrepreneur, I know that time is money and that prioritizing my time is essential to staying productive and growing my business. However, I also understand that this isn’t always easy to do – we’re all busy, and it can be hard to know where to start when making the most of our time.

Below are some tips for prioritizing your time so you can make the most of your day and overcome the overwhelm to continue moving toward your goals.

Set Goals and Deadlines

At the beginning of each day, write down the top three goals you need to accomplish and deadlines to help you stay focused and on track. This will help you prioritize your tasks and ensure you keep sight of what you need to accomplish.

Utilize a Calendar

I was resistant to this idea for a long time, but as life got more complicated, it became essential. Whether this is “old school” or digital, use it to schedule your tasks and appointments so that you can stay organized and ensure you don’t miss any important deadlines. For example, I use a digital calendar that my wife can see both for accountability and so she can add family appointments, so I keep them in front of me.

Plan Ahead

I mentioned setting goals that keep us focused on the big picture. When working with clients one-on-one, we often discuss how they can plan ahead. For example, taking Sunday night or getting in early on Monday morning will help you plan your week. Some people have created an end-of-the-day routine and beginning-of-the-day habit to plan their day. Whatever the way, it will help you stay on top of things and ensure you’re getting the most out of your day.

Take a Break

Just the other night, my oldest son and I were discussing this. Breaks are essential for your productivity and your mental health. So take a few minutes each day to step away from your work and recharge. This can be anything from walking to listening to a podcast – whatever helps you relax and reset.

Delegate Tasks

Feel free to delegate tasks to others if you’re overwhelmed with your workload. If you don’t have a team, find people such as virtual assistants and use resources such as Fiverr.com or upwork.com to get help at reasonable prices. You don’t have to do everything alone – take advantage of the people and resources available to help you get things done.

Prioritizing your time is essential to staying productive and growing your business. Which of these tips do you need to apply this week? Need more detailed help and tools, contact me and let’s discover any way I can help you improve your self-leadership in this area. As we lead ourselves better, we will be even more effective in leading our teams. Lead Well!

Jan

2023

Goals to Grow

Have you ever played darts without a dartboard?

Of course not or if you have it was a very frustrating game because you didn’t know if you were having success. As a leader you are always moving toward something, but maybe you get anxious when you have to do performance reviews and goal setting for your team.

I was talking with someone about this idea of goal setting for their team. We discussed how there is a tension to manage in this process. The tension of comfort.

Before going any further allow me to suggest that the purpose of the goal is to guide the growth. If we focus on the growth then the goal will take care of itself. Here are some ideas to consider when setting goals either personally or with your team

Uncomfortable

“Growth stops when you lose the tension between where you are and where you could be.”

John C. Maxwell

Imagine you have a member on your sales team who easily hits the number 100 (add as many zeros as you want). You know they have more capacity because you’ve resourced them with people to help service their clients. You want them to get out and keep growing, but you are frustrated since they are complacent. They need a goal that will stretch them, but they are already a high performer and you are worried they will quit. How can we set this uncomfortable goal?

Take time to sit down with the individual and ask a few questions:

How satisfied are you with your results? (This helps you gauge their motivation)
Where would you like to be a year from now? (This helps you gauge their vision)
What kind of goal can we set that will stretch you and help you grow? (This invites them into the conversation so they own the goal)

The goal is to collaborate on a goal that stretches them and as the leader you may need to help them see they can do more than they believe.

Reasonable

After you have asked the above questions you then need to decide if the goal is reasonable. If you are asking the sales person to go from 100 to 200, is that reasonable? Here are a few factors to consider when determining if it is reasonable:

Time they have – audit the individual’s calendar together and ask what do they need to stop doing so they can move toward the goal
Skills – do they need training to reach this goal? If so, where?
Uncontrollables – are there factors going on in the industry, market, etc. that need to be considered to determine if this is a reasonable goal

These are just a few factors to consider, but there may be more that are specific to your environment. As you both determine whether the goal is reasonable you may want to consider one final factor.

Personality

Stress is real and everyone handles it differently. Goals drive some but may stress out others. A little pressure can create a stress that will motivate, but too much may paralyze.

A certain percentage of the population are wired for goals. They are drivers. Others are stressed out by the goals because they want to do it perfect. Some are stressed because they see it as a change and they don’t like change. Finally, some see the goal as positive if it is a game.

As you put the final goals together figure out which category this individual is in. Maybe they work best with an annual goal as weekly or monthly goals will paralyze them to the point of inactivity. Some may need smaller goals to keep them focused. Others may need your help on discerning the plan because they want to do it right. Finally, some may function best when they see their goal helps support the team.

As you discern everyone’s personality you will be able to have the goal setting conversation in a manner that stretches them to grow yet does not create unnecessary stress.

Which of these areas do you need to grow in as you set goals with your team? Need help thinking further into your process? Contact me for a thinking partner session.

Oct

2022

Fear as A Path to Growth

This is the time of year in the United States where people celebrate Halloween. This my least favorite holiday. Don’t get me wrong, I like the candy but there is nothing good for me by eating the candy.

What this holiday represents is the idea of fear. It celebrates fear and I want to suggest that the only thing to celebrate about fear is that it is our path to growth.

What do I mean by that? Allow me to reflect on the thoughts of some other people around this idea. I discussed this idea of fear in a past blog highlighting two perspectives on the idea, but this time I want to highlight how fear relates to growth.

The Ledge

Imagine standing at the edge of a cliff ready to jump off. Why am I standing there? Because I am tied to a rope and about to rappel down the side of a mountain. The nerves are high, and all types of thoughts go through my mind. Primarily “what if” scenarios. I must face my fear.

In his classic book Think and Grow Rich Napoleon Hill suggests:

“Fears are nothing more than states of mind.”

When looking over the ledge there is a legitimate concern that stepping off will end poorly, but what causes me to step off the ledge. I replace the state of fear with faith in the rope and those who hold it. The fear is real and what I focus on can make it decrease or increase.

As leaders we stand on the ledge of a choice to grow. Grow our team, grow our business, grow personally. The choice will take us into the fear zone which leads us to how we grow.

Stay Uncomfortable

In his book No Limits leadership expert John Maxwell discusses how to grow our capacity. He shares a story about an experience he read of a man’s month long training experience with a Navy Seal. At one point “SEAL” said to this man:

”If you don’t challenge yourself, you don’t know yourself.”

This is the state where as a leader you have to face the fear of the unknown and get uncomfortable. Kind of like stepping off the ledge even with all the “what ifs” flying through your mind. Only in this state of discomfort can we push the boundaries of ourselves and our team to determine what we can truly accomplish.

Be Wise

One last thought on fear. We don’t want to ignore it because it can warn us. We walk in a dark alley that does not feel right and we are afraid. This fear puts us on alert to impending danger so our senses are heightened.

We don’t want to be reckless as leaders. When looking over the ledge I was attached to a rope, but still was afraid. When looking at a new idea or opportunity, listen to the concerns your team mentions because there is a fine line between courageous and foolish you don’t want to cross.

Sit long enough with the fear to discern:

Is this fear based on something that could destroy everything we’ve accomplished?
Is this fear based on my selfish desire for comfort?
Is this fear that I need to be aware of as a risk when I take the next step?

Fear is normal and healthy when we do not allow ourselves to get trapped. What causes us to get stuck? Believing something that is not true is true.

Where are you? On the ledge, too comfortable, or maybe reckless and not being wise? Take time today to look at the opportunity you’ve been thinking about yet holding back. Ask the questions above, get advice from trusted advisors, and when it’s time . . . step off the ledge. Lead Well!