SELF LEADERSHIP

Mar

2020

Face Your Fears and Become Successful

I was reading The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth by leadership expert John Maxwell. While describing factors that keep us from growing, he referenced an article he encountered listing five fears that prevent people from becoming successful.

Fear of Failure
Fear of Trading Security for the Unknown
Fear of Being Overextended Financially
Fear of What Others Will Say or Think
Fear that Success Will Alienate Peers

Ouch! As I read this list and paused to reflect on my dreams each of these resonated with me. I don’t know where you are in your growth journey. I hope you are on the road as I am. I am going to suggest one practice for each of these fears and how we can fight against it.

Fear of Failure

Remember that failure is never final and more importantly neither success nor failure define who we are. If either of them defines us, we are on a slippery slope to a life with little peace. Allow 24 hours to celebrate a success or learn from a failure then keep growing.

Fear of Trading Security for the Unknown

This fear is rooted in the lie that I have everything under control. Since I have a wife and three boys, I continue to understand that nothing is certain and life continually brings unknowns. I choose to believe someone greater than me is in control which provides courage as I step into the unknown.

Fear of Being Overextended Financially

When I think about this fear I immediately recognize although I have been overextended financially since we have had children, everything continues to work out. Seeking wise counsel, living by a budget, working diligently, and not expecting to “get rich quick” are practices that help me when thinking about the financial portion of pursuing my dream.

Fear of What Others Will Say or Think

When I lose perspective on my purpose this becomes more of a concern. On the other hand, when I am sure of what I am pursuing and that it aligns with my purpose in life others opinions matter less. There will always be a critic and I need to be diligent in surrounding myself with those who are both cheerleaders for the cause and also willing to speak truth when I need to hear it.

Fear that Success Will Alienate Peers

Jealousy is at the root of any alienation we feel from peers. As others see you pursuing your dream, their jealousy of you taking that risk can create a relational gap. Have someone in your inner circle who will be a cheerleader and encourager for you in your journey. Maybe that is a spouse, good friend, relative, mentor, or a coach. The alienation may come, but seek out those who will encourage you on this journey.

Five fears, five suggestions. What fear(s) do you struggle with the most? What practice do you need to implement to help you daily press on and fight through to achieve your dream? Increase your faith and the fear will diminish. You have what it takes to accomplish your vision. Take it one step at a time. Want to gather a group of people for me to help you grow utilizing this resource? Contact me and we can discuss how I can come alongside you and others to help you grow as a leader to your full potential. Lead Well.

Mar

2020

Hardest Part of the Day

The gentle or sometimes loud music plays and wakes me from my slumber. The sun will not rise for an hour or more at this point. Then it starts. . . .

The thoughts. What will they be?

Will they inspire me with anticipation for what could be in front of me today?

Or will worry and anxiety creep in and suck the life out of me?

I haven’t even gotten out of bed yet!

I don’t know if you are like me, but that first few minutes before I even shuffle my feet toward the bathroom are critical. Even though I get up early I would not say I am naturally a morning person. In part I get up early so I don’t have to talk to anyone because I am quite grumpy.

What do we do to win the battle of the mind in the morning? Can I share a few thoughts with you and maybe you will find them helpful?

FIRST WORDS

When I wake up and finally get from the horizontal position to my feet on the floor one of two thoughts come into my mind. Thank you for a new day (in all transparency rarely is that a joy-filled thanks, but usually a choice) or how many hours until I get to lay back down. The second happens more often when I am not taking care of myself to get to bed at a reasonable hour.

MORNING ROUTINE

After I have shuffled to the bathroom and taken care of a little personal hygiene I head downstairs. This is when I intentionally get my mind and body right. I make breakfast and sit at the kitchen table. While letting my oatmeal cool (I know some of you just cringed at the thought of oatmeal) I start reading. While I read, I tune in to what jumps out at me from what I am reading.

Next to me is my journal and that is where I write down what jumped out at me, why and how to apply it. As a person of faith this is where I write down my thoughts, frustrations, and prayers since sometimes they are all the same. If I have mind garbage from the night before then I process it in this journal.

MOVE

I have sought to fill my mind with truth by this point and then I get in motion . . . physical motion. I head to the gym or do some sort of exercise which serves as an early morning stress reliever. After returning, I move into action whether heading to a meeting, writing, making calls or whatever productive business building activity I have pre-planned for that day.

This is my way of dealing with my hardest part of the day, but what about you? Maybe morning is easy for you. What do you do when you feel the mind battle raging? What helps you continue to lead yourself well and move in the direction of your goals? Do you need someone to come alongside you to help you think into leading yourself more effectively so you can improve your leadership of others? Contact me for a complimentary coaching session. In the meantime, share with me what helps you and lead well.

Jan

2020

Producing in the New Year

Often I serve organizations by facilitating a mastermind or leadership roundtable. One of my favorite resources to use is leadership expert John Maxwell’s book Developing the Leader Within You 2.0. This is an excellent tool to help people grow into the best leader possible.

At the beginning of the process we discuss the idea of priorities. The new year has begun and maybe you set some new goals. If you are like many of us some of those resolutions have already been broken . . . you know the eating habit ones.

How can we avoid the frustration of not accomplishing our goals in this new year? We cannot control everything, but maybe these three ideas will help you stay on the path to accomplishing your vision for this new year.

Stair Step

If you had the goal of climbing Mount Everest would you try to accomplish that in one day? Of course not! The climb is a process of many days and strategic stops to recover and acclimate. The same is true of accomplishing our vision for this year.

When people climb Everest they can utilize multiple stops to camp and adjust. If you are like me the idea of slowing down is not appealing. I set a goal and I want the result . . . yesterday. Unfortunately, that is not how it works. In order to keep ourselves going, set benchmarks along the way.

Think of your vision. What are some of the steps that you will need to take to get there? Write them down, celebrate when you accomplish it and then keep climbing.

80/20

During the mastermind groups I referenced earlier, we discuss the 80/20 principle. You may be familiar with the concept. As you look at your day/week/year what is the 20% of work that accomplishes 80% of your results?

Maybe you lead a team. Who are the few people that accomplish 80% of the work results? What can you do to develop them or help them find their few they can develop as leaders?

Take a minute and look at what doesn’t serve you well in helping you reach your vision. Maybe the task can be done better by someone else, delegate it. Maybe it does not need anyone’s attention . . . get rid of it. Take a hard look and focus on the 20% this year to move you toward your goal.

Do It Now

Years ago I heard John Maxwell share how he learned to overcome procrastination. I will not go into the details of the story, but the bottom line was creating a simple habit. Every morning when you wake up tell yourself “Do It Now” fifty times and then do the same before you go to bed at night.

Implement this habit for thirty days and watch how it reprograms your thinking. The great challenge to accomplishing our vision is not ability or desire, but simply taking a little bit of action every day.

Three ideas. None of them earth shattering, but each require effort and discipline. Which of these will you implement today? Do it now! Maybe you need a group to hold you accountable to your growth this year. Contact me and let’s talk about starting a mastermind with your team. You are resourced to accomplish your vision this year go do it and lead well!

Dec

2019

Leadership Stress

The year is winding down and there are pressures at home and among family to be everywhere and do everything. At work there are deadlines either imposed upon you or self-imposed.

The month of December can be like being in a tea kettle. We start off calm, but as the heat of life and work intensifies we can get to a boiling point and at times scream either literally or figuratively like the tea kettle. What do we do?

Can I suggest thinking into three concepts to help us manage the stress we face daily, but possibly more intensely during December?

Routine

Some of us naturally create routine. We are wired for structure and want to have life planned out by the minute. Others of us need to create that structure. Maybe you have flexibility in your day and can create your own routines or you have to create these routines during other parts of your day.

When your day begins, what happens? Is your phone your alarm clock and you instantly go to check messages of some sort? This immediately puts us in a reacting mindset. Can I suggest you look at your morning routine and evaluate whether it helps reduce stress or increases stress? Look at the first thirty to sixty minutes of the day and determine how to be more proactive in your routine.

Rejuvenate

Each of us recharges our batteries differently. Some of us get recharged by being quiet in a room or sitting in a tree stand in the woods. Others enjoy doing something productive with our hands. Some of us take naps. The possibilities are endless, but we need to know what refuels our energy.

I read of an individual who would work non-stop for three days straight and then take the next three days and do no work. Maybe that works for you if you have that flexibility. Some of us get recharged watching a movie, reading a book, spending time with family. Whatever recharges you, do you have it built into your schedule? This down time will help us be even more effective at work.

Reconnect

Leaders can easily isolate themselves thinking no one else understands their situation. We need to be in community whether that is a professional community such as a mastermind group where we can share openly and learn from one another. Maybe a personal community centered around common values. Both have the common theme of connecting beyond the surface and helping each other reach their full potential.

The five people closest to us most impact the leaders we will become. Who are the people in your life who can help you reach your full potential?

The common theme in all these ideas is creating boundaries. These boundaries help us lead ourselves and others at a higher level to get greater results. Do you want to think more deeply into this? Go here and get a free e-book with questions to process applying these three concepts on managing stress and a free e-book on 5 Ways to Lead Better. In the meantime, lead well!

Dec

2019

Holiday Leadership: Saying NO

“One can comfortably handle only so many details in his or her life.” Richard Swenson, M.D.

The holidays are a time of great expectation for time with family, friends, gifts, and the reason for the season. This is a time of great expectation in another way that can cause tension and stress. A time where you feel like you have to do things even though you don’t want to.

Awhile back I asked people “what is it that challenges you during this time of year?”

Many thoughts were provided, but a common one was how to say no without offending people. This may not be just a holiday issue because saying “no” may be challenge at many times in life.

Boundaries

When my kids were younger there were a couple playgrounds around. One of the playgrounds they went to contain a huge tower with no fences around and a body of water nearby. My wife and I would nervously watch hoping none of the boys would fall and force a visit to the emergency room. The second playground was a couple blocks down the street and had a fence. I could sit and read a book while watching the boys enjoy the equipment.

The difference between boundaries and no boundaries was less anxiety and freedom for the boys. These boundaries are what enable us to say no. Psychologist Henry Cloud and John Townsend popularized the idea of boundaries. They emphasize:

“You need to realize how much time and the energy you have and manage your work accordingly. Know what you can do and when you can do it and say no to everything else, learn to know your limits and enforce them.”

Priorities

During the holiday season we have many plans and multiple activities to engage in. We also have deadlines and goals to meet within the places we lead. At times we feel stretched to the limit and realize we need to say no to some things. How do we know what to say “no” to?

We must determine our priorities. We have deadlines at work and pressures at home. How do we say no? Operate from a creative mindset in setting priorities and think into ways to meet the deadlines without losing time at home. Is there a project that you can work more efficiently on to free up time? Do you need to lead your team in a way that establishes boundaries to help work occur more efficiently?

Three Questions

Maybe these questions I have heard from leadership expert John Maxwell will help you determine what to say no to.

What is Required of you?
What gives you the greatest Return?
What gives you the greatest Reward?

After you think on these questions maybe it will enable you to arrange your priorities and know what to say “no” to. As we know our priorities we are equipped to create whitespace for the unexpected to live and lead through the holiday season in a manner that helps us lead effectively.

Set boundaries for yourself and those you lead this holiday season so you don’t have to be stressed out. Clarify your priorities, create space, and answer those defining questions so you can lead better at work and home.

Nov

2019

Holiday Self-Leadership

Are you like me during the holiday season? Life is already crazy with work and home expectations, but then we pile on the sometimes unrealistic holiday expectations. For example, a self-imposed pressure to buy gifts for more people than our budget can handle.

Add to all this the excessive commitments to be at holiday experiences with your family, extended family or events at school. Everything’s constantly pulling at us, and it creates so much pressure! What can we do?

We all have a lot going on. Maybe one of these ideas will help you lower the expectation level and help you maintain perspective during this time.

Community

When you are around others ask questions to connect and be in genuine authentic community with others.

Solitude

Maybe you need to take a few minutes alone to break from the busyness. One practice I implement is starting each day reading from an inspirational book. That could be a faith-based book or something else. Find something that can help you maintain perspective and dive into it.

Realistic Goals and Expectations

Are we expecting too much or ourselves? “I have to get the perfect gift,” we think. Chances are, this person cares more about you being present than the gift you bring.

Serve Others

I know during the holiday season our family tries to help other people. In the past we’ve helped with giving gifts to families in need. During Thanksgiving time we have helped deliver meals. During Christmas we have helped wrap gifts at a community gift store. All of these help us maintain perspective.

Inexpensive Fun

One tradition our family has is driving through the local Christmas light show. We also visit the neighborhood light show that coordinates lights flashing with songs on their own music station. We drive, enjoy the display, each other and it only costs a little gas money. At the same time it helps us keep perspective, connect as a family, and lower stress.

Be Kind

If you are like me, your desire to be in control can create problems. The biggest being when people do not do things the way we want them to. Sometimes when we let go of the need to be in control we empower ourselves to lead with the kindness they deserve.

I hope one of these tips will help you manage your perspective, and not be so flustered during this time, with all the expectations and added pressures on top of leading at work and home. Which one of these can you apply to help you maintain perspective? Stay tuned as next week I’m going to share a sneak peak on tips to communicate and connect better with others during the holidays. Thanks for reading, and lead well in all you do.