SELF LEADERSHIP

Oct

2019

How Are You at Leading Yourself?

“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts.” James Allen

Self-leadership. We all have to do it. Whether you lead at the highest level, own your own business or participate in an organization in various roles without a formal position of leadership. Even when we are not at work we have to do this. How are you doing in this area?

Each morning I wake up, somedays before the alarm goes off, but often shocked into reality by music blaring out of my alarm. Then what . . . do I snooze? Do I hop out of bed excited by a new day of adventure? Do I lay there thinking of all I have to do that day? Do I start worrying about the million things out of my control?

It depends.

One thing is certain, my mind is going and the battle is raging. What will be my first thought? After that will I feed it so it grows or dismiss it?

It depends.

For years I was a strength and conditioning coach. My job each day was to get athletes to do what they naturally did not want to do . . . work hard on something they may not have seen the benefit in so they could be better at what they enjoyed . . . their sport.

Mindset is key. Carol Dweck in her research on this topic wrote a book about this topic. She highlights two types of mindset:

Fixed

This mindset believes this is how I will always be and I can never change . . . these are the cards dealt to me.

Growth

A person with this perspective thinks I can change and evolve into a different person than I am today.

Both are rooted in our thoughts which directly impact our outcomes. Anyone who has spent time selling an idea, a product, or a service knows this is true. Whether we have doubt or confidence in what we are selling others will sense it.

Let me suggest a few ideas on how to get our mind set in a direction for success each day.

Gratitude

When I wake up each day even though I would rather lay back down I try to think of at least one thing I am grateful for. That may be “thank you for this new day.” Starting the day with thanks and gratitude will help set our attitude in the right direction.

Set the Agenda Beforehand

I find that if I set my agenda for the day, week, etc. the night before I am not waking up anxious about that day. By writing it down, the tasks and goals are out of my mind and I can reference them when work time begins.

Think Time

Each day as I eat breakfast I read and journal. These may not be habits that work for you, but this is a great way for me to dump yesterday’s garbage and some of today’s poor thinking. I read something that will inspire me to live for more than just myself. For me that is the Bible, but for you it may be something as simple as a quote of the day on a tear off calendar. Taking time to clear my mind of the garbage and fill it with truth is critical to helping me have the right mindset.

This only touches the surface of this issue and in later posts I will dig deeper because as the quote at the top says, our thinking determines our character which impacts our results. Which of the three ideas can you implement to help your self-leadership? Need someone to help you think into your results? Contact me. In the meantime, lead well at work and home.

Sep

2019

I Can’t . . . Yet

A number of years ago I joined the John Maxwell Team. This is a group of individuals who are independently certified to speak, teach, and coach using John Maxwell’s proven leadership content. If you have never heard of John, he has been named by INC magazine as the number one leadership expert in the world.

A couple years before I joined this global team of over 25,000 people I earned my Masters in Organizational Leadership. At that point, my wife asked, “what are you going to do with it?”

Since I am a wise individual who always has plans made and completely figured out, I said . . . “I don’t know.” Now I have been on a journey of trying to add value to others to help today’s leaders reach their full potential and inspiring youth to see how to be effective transformational leaders for tomorrow. This is an uphill journey.

John Maxwell and some of the others who I have a privilege of being mentored by in this program have reminded me “anything worthwhile is uphill.” With this uphill climb I often have to overcome my downhill habits. Lately I have increasing awareness that some of my biggest downhill habits are in the way I think.

Four-Letter Words

Growing up we have all heard not to say certain four-letter words. Here is one, well technically it has six letters, that creeps into my mind often either subtly or directly: CAN’T.

I have seen as I attempt to meet a new person who may help me expand the business, try a new skill I have not used often, or have a challenging conversation this word creeps in. It appears like a snake sneaking up and quietly hissing in my ear ideas like you aren’t qualified, you aren’t smart enough, you don’t have the credibility and at times gets to the point of suggesting I just give up on what I am pursuing.

Change the Question

So what happens when these thoughts creep in? At times I want to give into them and have a great pity party. I have been reminded by some of the mentors I have access to that I need to change the question. Instead of focusing on limited resources, time, experience, etc. I need to ask one of two questions:

What CAN I do?

I may not be speaking in front of tens of thousands and sharing principles to lead better at work or home . . . yet. But I can speak in front of a small group. I can make a phone call to meet the person who can help me take the next step.

How CAN I?

This question assumes we can, but also asks for the next step. Say you want to take your family on a cruise, but right now your savings is negative. Instead of just asking how this would be possible, look at what you can do . . . save change, do odd jobs, get another job, close more deals, make it a family savings event, cut spending, or any number of options. Then take the next step.

I don’t know about you, but I can be greatest limiter to moving in the direction of my dream. I must get out of my own way and take the next step. It won’t go perfect and I will make mistakes . . . . but that is a topic for another day.

What about you? What CAN you do to lead that team toward its goal or accomplish a family dream? How CAN you get there? What is next. When you hear that little four letter word maybe you just need to add a three letter word of YET and take the next step. If you need help thinking into your leadership personally or professionally or breaking through limiting beliefs, contact me and let’s talk. Lead Well!

Aug

2019

The Stress of Anxiety for Leaders

I had returned home from work and brought all my stuff inside the house. This particularly long day required two trips from the car so I took some of my stuff and put it down in my home office. This was what started it.

The next day I was getting ready to read and could not locate the book I had been reading. I remembered bringing it in the house, but found it nowhere!

I was frustrated, angry at my lack of organization and kind of worried because I really had been finding this book helpful and using it to try and encourage people. Needing to start my day, I grabbed a different book to read on the elliptical at the gym instead of this one. For about three days though in the back of my mind I was wondering “where is that book?”

As leaders we get anxious about little problems like this, but also much more complicated problems bring anxiety. Recently I learned a few tips on dealing with worry or anxiety:

A Question

First, I had to ask myself: what is the worst that could possibly happen? I have to buy a new book and am out a few dollars and don’t have the notes I made in the old book.

Acceptance

I had to accept that worst case scenario. If that is the worst that would happen I needed to accept it . . . but I wasn’t therefore it kept running around in the back of my mind.

Shift

I needed to improve on the worst. In other words I needed to move on and forget about the problem.

I decided to apply these steps and I was about to go to Half-Price Books to purchase another copy, but decided to look one more time on my desk.

I am a typical male when I look for things such as in the refrigerator if the item is not directly in front of me I assume it is not there. As I looked at my sloppy desk I looked from another angle and there it was tucked away behind another book and under some papers!

The entertaining part of this experience was the principles above were from the following book by Dale Carnegie . . . How to Stop Worrying and Start Living.

I know, I guess I need to work at applying the principles I am learning in this book a little better.

What about you? How can you apply Mr. Carnegie’s three steps to help you with whatever is creating anxiety in your life? Share with me and in the meantime, lead well.

May

2019

I’m Not Feeling It

I was in the gym working out one Monday and a person I’ve gotten to know said “I’m not feeling it.” When I was a strength coach if I got a quarter for every time someone said that I could have bought a house on a beach somewhere.

We all say this in some way or another. When we allow our feelings to dictate our performance we are setting ourselves up for big problems and poor results.

As a leader you may never struggle with this, but I know the most difficult person for me to lead is the guy I look at in the mirror every morning. What can we do when we are not feeling like . . . or what can we do to help those around us struggling with a similar challenge?

GET IN MOTION

I have heard it said that emotion is simply energy in motion. Yes, there are days we get up and the weather is not agreeable, or we look at our to do list and see challenges we do not want to face. We simply take the first step.

To build on the idea of exercise, imagine the second day back from working out after a long break. We are sore and can barely move, but we crawl out of bed and slowly start moving. As we get in motion and muscles loosen, we feel better and eventually the emotion comes. We must take the first step though.

CONSISTENCY

Leadership expert John Maxwell says, “consistency compounds.” We feed a habit and a mindset by what we do consistently as leaders. If I continually berate those I lead then I will get the compounding effect of low morale. On the other hand, if I continually lift others up and encourage them, I will get the opposite effect.

As we consistently move into motion our emotion will catch up. Another way this has been said is “motivation gets you going, but discipline keeps you growing.”¹ Regular consistent discipline will keep you and your team moving in the direction that will help you achieve your goals.

ROUTINE

What do you do at the beginning of every day? What about around lunch time? In the evening? Do these habits create a routine that will keep your energy and enthusiasm high?

We all have habits which are created out of our routines. Each morning I get up shave, go downstairs to eat, read, and journal. This routine gets me moving and gets my mind going in a positive direction. I am a person of many routines, but at times I need to evaluate whether these routines are moving me in the direction of my goal or not.

What about you? What helps you when you are “not feeling it”? Is there a routine you need to change? Are you consistent in the right things? Whatever is holding you back, get in motion and take the first step to help yourself and those you lead perform at a higher level. Lead well.

Maxwell, John C. 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.

May

2019

How Aware Are You?

Not too long ago in our home my three boys had become infatuated with Corvettes. My oldest is creating plans in his mind on how he is going to save up for his corvette.

While listening to my sons talk frequently about these cars, they also pointed them out while we are driving. It seems like there has been a sudden increase of corvettes around where I live. Also I have noticed a sudden increase in silver Honda Odyssey vans like what we have. . . . or has there been an increase?

As we drove around town I noticed another Corvette recently and it struck me that people are not buying more, but I am more aware and tuned into their presence. I wonder what would happen if I were more aware in my leadership. What does this look like?

As leaders we have many stress points. Many people want attention or have questions, there are administrative duties that need attention, and decisions that must be made which impact multiple lives. These are just a few and do not account for the stress various personal stressors. You may be aware of all these stresses and responsibilities . . . or not.

Where is your awareness?

Awareness is a greater perception or knowledge of a fact. For example, if you have never heard of moose tracks ice cream you may not have noticed it at the ice cream shop or store before, but now that I have mentioned it you are going to be more aware of it. Maybe you will even buy it.

In your business what are you tuned into? Are you only focused on the urgent demands and emergency situations? Is the most important item on your agenda the urgent item? Emergencies occur and our plans are interrupted in life and work, but are we maintaining awareness of the important needs in our lives. Are we only aware of our families when an emergency occurs and at all other times work takes precedence?

Daniel Goleman helped people more clearly understand the idea of self-awareness in his book Emotional Intelligence. This is when we are tuned into our emotional state enough that we can adjust our emotions and prevent ourselves from saying and doing what may hurt others and ourselves.

What does all this have to do with leadership? When we are aware of our environment, ourselves, and others it helps us lead more effectively. The question is, do we know what takes most of our attention? Are we allowing the urgent needs to consume our mental space to push out important leadership thinking time? Do you need help in increasing your personal awareness to think at a higher level as a leader? If so, contact me for a no cost thirty-minute coaching experience so I can help you think into your results and achieve breakthroughs in your leadership.

Feb

2019

My Technology Failure

Have you ever been ready to throw your iPhone, iPad, computer or some other form of technology against the wall and scream?

That was me on this particular Friday morning. I am sitting at my desk preparing to join my John Maxwell Team friend Eric Reid on his Friday Facebook Live he graciously invited me to participate in.

I am excited and ready to go so I join in while listening on my computer. He sees me there, but I have to get connected via my iPhone or iPad . . . . that is where the problems begin.

I log onto Facebook and see his video, but no matter how many times I touch the screen it won’t play. Confession here, I am not a technology whiz. After about five minutes my blood pressure is rising and then I figure I will download the app.

At this point my friend knows I am struggling and he is demonstrating his phenomenal speaking skills as he speaks on something he totally did not anticipate. As I continue to struggle, I have messaged him with the confession that I am cursing my devices.

We are now about fifteen minutes in and I am yelling and screaming either outloud or in my head and I finally get on . . . . but cannot access the camera . . . whatever that means!

Finally, I message him and tell him I give up because we are now too far in for me to bring much value. He encourages me through the broadcast and asks others to do the same. Now that the emotion is gone I ask myself: what did this teach me about leadership?

Prepare, Prepare, Prepare

I should have done the test run beforehand . . . I know common sense, but apparently not for this guy. When we try something new especially involving new technology of some sort, give it a low risk “test drive” first.

Don’t be Attached

I could have been much worse off than I was especially if I allowed my self-worth to be attached to the result that morning. I was frustrated, embarrassed, and felt my lack of preparation let my friend down. The reality is that my self-worth should not be based on the results of a Facebook Live.

Learn.

Why am I writing this now, so I can reflect and learn and possibly help you when you try something new as you lead. Mistakes happen, but in order to learn we need to pause, reflect, and learn from them.

Failure occurs to us all and when we are trying something new the probability of some type of failure is higher. What about you? Do you get attached to what you are trying so much that if you fail you will be crushed? Do you take time to learn from the mistake? Just like I have to remind myself often, because we fail does not mean we are failures. Go out today, try something new personally or professionally and if you fail on some level, learn and re-enter. Lead well.