STRESS

Dec

2023

Leading Through the Holiday Stress

The holiday season. A time of joy, celebration, and…stress. As a leader, I am sure you understand all too well the struggle of managing stress during the holidays. It’s a time when our personal and professional lives collide, and the pressure to juggle it all can often feel overwhelming. Maybe one of these ideas will help decrease stress levels without adding to your already full plate.

Set Realistic Expectations

The level of work for both you and others can increase during this time. Whether the pressure of closing the year and meeting certain goals or personal pressures from family commitments. The holiday season is not the time to take on more than you can handle. Understand you and your team may not be able to accomplish as much during this time, and that’s okay. Be mindful of your limitations and communicate them to your team. This will help alleviate some of the pressure and prevent burnout.

Delegate or Purposefully Procrastinate

As business leaders, we often feel like we need to have our hands in every aspect of the business and everything is top priority. The truth is, you have a team for a reason. Trust in their abilities and delegate tasks to them. If you don’t have a team then look at what you have to do and decide what can I purposely put off until after this season? This will not only help alleviate your workload, but it will also empower your team members and make them feel valued.

Self-Care

We can get to the other side of this season and feel exhausted. Part of this is from not taking care of yourself during this time. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season, but it’s important to carve out time for self-care. Whether it’s taking a long bath, going for a walk, or simply taking a few minutes to breathe and recenter yourself, make self-care a priority. When you take care of yourself, you’ll be better equipped to handle the challenges that come with this busy time of year.

NO is Your Friend

Depending on your personality, this may be difficult, but don’t be afraid to say no. As business leaders, we often feel obligated to attend every holiday event and say yes to every request that comes our way. But the truth is, it’s okay to say no. Your time and energy are valuable, so be selective and strategic with how you choose to spend them.

Create a Supportive Culture

Regardless of the time of year this is important. During the holidays which can be extra stressful professionally and personally, fostering a positive and supportive work culture is important. Encourage your team to take time off and spend it with their loved ones. Offer flexible work hours or remote working options to allow them to handle personal holiday commitments. This will not only reduce their stress levels, but it will also create a sense of goodwill and loyalty within your team.

As you look at each of these areas, which one will help you navigate this season the best to reduce you and your team’s stress levels? Focus on that area to lead your team even better as you work through the holidays and enter the new year. Lead Well.

Dec

2020

Holiday Self-Leadership Part I

Last year I posted on Facebook asking people the greatest challenges they have over the holidays. I received multiple responses and over the next few weeks I’ll share some ideas I hope will help you in leading yourself during the holidays.

I originally talked about some of this in my Friday video last year, but a lot has changed in our world since I made that video. During the holidays in a non-pandemic year someone asked how to take time for themselves during the holidays. Allow me to suggest a few ideas on leading ourselves in three different areas during this time.

Physical Self-Leadership

In a normal holiday season, we get worn down but this compounds with the added stressors of staying at home and potentially virtual school. If we can’t lead ourselves well during the holidays, we’re not going to be able to give generously to those around us at work, at home, and in other areas. Leadership is influence and we can’t give what we do not have so we must take care of ourselves during the holiday.

What can we do to overcome this physical fatigue? Many of us get caught caring for others so much we forget to care for ourselves. One way is taking care of our physical well-being. During the lockdown period this year people took walks to exercise. This same idea can apply during the holidays. If you are like me, you have more treats during the holidays so taking ten minutes each day to do something active can help us with our physical well-being. This could be a walk, push-ups, yoga, stretching or some level of physical activity.

Mental Self-Leadership

The physical activity not only helps our physical well-being, but can also help our mental well-being. Combine the pressures of our present circumstances with the normal work, home, and holiday pressures and you can reach the point of exploding!

So what could we do? One idea is a breath prayer or thought. Take a moment to let the stress go either through a physical response such as a breath out or a phrase like “let it go” or “it will all work out” or if you’re a person of faith you’d say “somebody bigger than me is in control.” I don’t know what phrase works for you but determine a way to release that stress in a positive way to help your mental wellness.

Social Self-Leadership

When I first talked about this the context was a little different than today. Right now any time spent in direct interaction with others can be very welcome. During this time of year we may be reminded of a loss in our life. At times we are stressed because of interactions with those in our life we prefer not to be around. In our present reality there are some topics we avoid discussing because it can increase tension. With this social tension combined with extra tension from the realities of this past year, how do we lead ourselves in this area?

Community. Who are the safe community of people you can interact and be honest with during these times? They may be from a group you are involved in or activity you participate in or a close, trusted neighbor. Whoever it is connect with them or maybe you need time to escape alone to hide in a closet or bathroom just to recharge. Depending on your personal style find a way to stay fresh socially so you can connect with others in a meaningful way.

There it is. Three areas to grow our self-leadership during these unique holiday times. If you want to see the series of videos I made on this topic last year go here for this video and you will be able to find the others as well. Make this a great week and lead well.

Sep

2020

Planning or Stressing Ahead

I was talking with a small business owner about leadership challenges and during our conversation he brought up a phrase that I had never heard. Admittedly he had just thought of it while we were talking: stressing ahead.

We all have many thoughts going in our minds and multiple tasks we are responsible for. As we look at our week we can unconsciously fall into a mindset of stressing ahead instead of planning ahead.

Stressing Ahead

Leaders see all that needs to be done, but instead of planning ahead we assume a stressed mindset. Here are three signals that you may be stressing on top of or instead of planning.

Reactive

Leaders that are reactive live in the urgent and important arena. This is the area where we constantly react to the most urgent needs. When you hear a leader saying, “I’m constantly putting out fires,” then they are most likely leading reactively. There are seasons of this, but when this is the norm, you create an environment ripe for unnecessary stress.

Anxious

Sunday night comes and we start thinking of the week ahead. The leader who stresses ahead experiences a rising sense of worry and overwhelm. This sense may manifest in multiple anxious behaviors. Our thoughts impact our feelings which impact our behavior. A stressed and anxious leader creates the same in his or her team.

Focused on the Unimportant

“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things that are beyond the power of our will.” Epictetus

When we lead ourselves and others by focusing on what we cannot control or which is of little or lesser importance we raise our level of stress. If the issue facing us is minor and we focus on it longer than it deserves then we will turn something minor into a major issue and create a stressful environment. Can you control it? If the answer is no, then move ahead and quit worrying.

Planning Ahead

What can we do to stay out of the stress mode and in the planning mindset? Here are three ideas I hope will help.

Proactive

Leadership expert John Maxwell often says leaders see more before. Leaders who plan ahead see what needs to be done and create the margin to accomplish it. This proactive approach will help the busy leader see the busy task list and prepare both mentally and purposefully.

Strategic

The leader who has a planner’s mindset is strategic in his or her approach. They look at the time ahead of them and prioritize their schedule in a manner that helps them strategically move toward their goals. This strategic thinking prevents them from becoming reactive and allows room for the inevitable interruptions.

Calm and anticipation

Through strategic, proactive planning a leader can limit anxiety. Calm and positive anticipation replaces anxiety as the leader eagerly looks ahead to the plan he or she has set. Yes, work comes that we don’t want to do, but by being proactive and purposefully strategic we manage the unwanted work by completing it when it won’t drain us or delegating it to those who are better at it.

As a leader which do you tend to do: stress or plan ahead? What is one action step you can take today to plan and lead yourself and others more effectively? Need help thinking into that then contact me for a no cost thirty-minute thinking partner session. Lead well.

Dec

2019

Leadership Stress

The year is winding down and there are pressures at home and among family to be everywhere and do everything. At work there are deadlines either imposed upon you or self-imposed.

The month of December can be like being in a tea kettle. We start off calm, but as the heat of life and work intensifies we can get to a boiling point and at times scream either literally or figuratively like the tea kettle. What do we do?

Can I suggest thinking into three concepts to help us manage the stress we face daily, but possibly more intensely during December?

Routine

Some of us naturally create routine. We are wired for structure and want to have life planned out by the minute. Others of us need to create that structure. Maybe you have flexibility in your day and can create your own routines or you have to create these routines during other parts of your day.

When your day begins, what happens? Is your phone your alarm clock and you instantly go to check messages of some sort? This immediately puts us in a reacting mindset. Can I suggest you look at your morning routine and evaluate whether it helps reduce stress or increases stress? Look at the first thirty to sixty minutes of the day and determine how to be more proactive in your routine.

Rejuvenate

Each of us recharges our batteries differently. Some of us get recharged by being quiet in a room or sitting in a tree stand in the woods. Others enjoy doing something productive with our hands. Some of us take naps. The possibilities are endless, but we need to know what refuels our energy.

I read of an individual who would work non-stop for three days straight and then take the next three days and do no work. Maybe that works for you if you have that flexibility. Some of us get recharged watching a movie, reading a book, spending time with family. Whatever recharges you, do you have it built into your schedule? This down time will help us be even more effective at work.

Reconnect

Leaders can easily isolate themselves thinking no one else understands their situation. We need to be in community whether that is a professional community such as a mastermind group where we can share openly and learn from one another. Maybe a personal community centered around common values. Both have the common theme of connecting beyond the surface and helping each other reach their full potential.

The five people closest to us most impact the leaders we will become. Who are the people in your life who can help you reach your full potential?

The common theme in all these ideas is creating boundaries. These boundaries help us lead ourselves and others at a higher level to get greater results. Do you want to think more deeply into this? Go here and get a free e-book with questions to process applying these three concepts on managing stress and a free e-book on 5 Ways to Lead Better. In the meantime, lead well!

Oct

2018

What is Your Stress Level Like?

Have you ever chosen to create stress in your life? I do it on a daily basis.

I know, you are thinking I am crazy, but this stress is for my own good . . . to avoid the natural course of gravity as I age.

For years I have made it a daily routine to workout and that includes lifting weights. A brief course on the stress of lifting weights. We overload the muscle with a certain amount of weight in order to stress the muscle. This stress causes micro-tears in the muscles which if we allow time to recover appropriately will heal and the muscles will grow.

Have you ever over done this process? I did it to my father-in-law once. . . . I promise it was not on purpose.

He and I went to his local YMCA and I took him through a workout using all the strength training machines. He seemed fine during the workout, but a week later he was still sore! I didn’t hurt him, but I did work him a little too hard since it had been awhile since he had lifted any weights. The man could barely move his arms for days. . . . I felt bad.

How do we know if we are taking ourselves or our team outside the appropriate stress range?

Observe. Just as there are ongoing physical signs of us overstressing our bodies there are signs of ourselves and those around us being overstressed. Some of those signs can be increased anxiety, a short temper, fatigue, and even depression just to name a few. If you are seeing these in yourself or those around you then pay attention. Does the workload need to be adjusted or the time working?
Communicate. Spend time talking and listening to others on your team. Not only do we want to listen to their needs, but also their feedback. They may be seeing something in us that we are blind to. If we listen, we may get a step ahead of our own overstressed situation before it derails our performance the performance of those we lead.
Pain. When we overstress our bodies we have nagging pain that doesn’t seem to go away. When we overstress ourselves in other ways it can be manifested physically by illness or the pain of strained relationships.

Stress is normal and appropriate stress stretches us and helps us grow, but when we get outside of the appropriate range we are becoming ineffective and will negatively impact our results.

What about you? How are you doing in this area as a leader? Do you have a good sense on how appropriately stressed or stretched your team is? Do you need to adjust personally or for those you lead? What is one way you can stay in the appropriate stress range today? If you found this helpful and have not joined the other people who receive these directly to their inbox then go here and click on “receive updates” and you will get a free e-book on leading better and other great tips and encouragement straight to your inbox. Lead well!

Jan

2018

Overcome the Leadership Burden You Carry

I try to be respectful of the reality that individuals who read this have multiple perspectives on life and faith. For some reason I feel compelled to share something this time that I hope encourages you regardless of your faith perspective.

I find in my life and leadership at work and home the feeling of a heavy burden.

The burden to provide.

The burden to love my wife and children well.

The burden of the stresses of work and growing a business.

The burden of the challenges that come from my children’s choices.

The burden of trying to innovate and create and think ahead both personally and professionally.

The burden of balancing the various aspects of life.

The burden of maintaining healthy physically, mentally and emotionally. These are only a few and I believe you probably can either resonate or add to this list.

As I think of all these burdens Jesus’ words come to mind as encouragement. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28). You don’t have to believe everything about Jesus or the Bible. You can take this as a quote by a good leader like you would a quote by Gandhi. What you ultimately believe about Jesus is your choice and I refuse to force you in any way to believe what I believe so if you are done reading at this point I understand, but hope you will continue because I think there is something here that can encourage you as it does me.

You see when I read this it gives me hope. I often feel the burden of life and I can feel it very heavy at times because I am a recovering perfectionist. Here is part of what I see in what Jesus said. There is someone bigger than you who is ultimately in control and will help you carry those burdens. The burden to raise your children alone or in partnership, the burden to provide, the burden to get that project accomplished can be lighter.

I find if I figure out a way to surrender and trust in the One who gave me all those gifts, talents, and abilities and quit trying so hard to do it on my own then He gives me peace amidst the burden. Ultimately I can’t control if someone purchases something from me, does what I want them to do, or approves of my work. My worth and value and trust must be in someone greater than I am and for me that is the Creator of the Universe.

Now you may not believe what I believe, that is fine, but if everything depends on you and there are not others to help you carry the burden, it will crush you. Just as when we were little we may have trusted our parents, at least for a time, find that greater source that you can go to and receive peace amidst the storms of leading at work and home.

Why is this important? When we are in the right state of mind are we able to lead well. If everything depends solely on us as individuals we are quite feeble in comparison to the strength of Him or a team of people you can rely on to get you through. Sometimes that team comes in the form of a coach, a mastermind group, a mentor or something else. So my question is not how far you can carry this burden alone, but on whom will you rely to help you carry your burden? You and I don’t have to do it alone. Release control and know that there is help from a greater source and the community around you.