TOUGHNESS

Aug

2018

Being Mentally Tough

Maybe you have heard the phrase “be tough” as a child or even as an adult. What comes to mind when you hear this word? Is it some braggadocios, loud-mouthed individual who listens to no one? Maybe it is the silent, stoic, emotionless individual with a cowboy hat just for effect. Maybe you see an unflappable individual amidst emergency such as a firefighter urgently, yet calmly racing to fight a fire.

This concept is discussed in homes, at work, and definitely in the sport arena. Former Duke basketball athlete Jay Bilas wrote an entire book entitled Toughness. The book is full of concepts related to the idea of toughness as it relates to trust, preparation, communication, commitment and more. His legendary coach said the following about toughness:

“We are not born tough,” Kryzewski said. “We may be born into a great family situation, or a difficult family situation that forces or conditions you to be tough, but we aren’t born that way. Toughness comes from how you handle your experiences, what you learn from them, and how you are guided through them by others in your life.”¹ p.5

Coach K suggests that toughness comes out of how we respond to our situations and how we learn from them.

Toughness appears to be a mindset we develop over time as we learn through the challenges of life.

This concept has been studied on a more objective level. Angela Duckworth spent years both in management consulting and education. After years teaching seventh graders math, she went to graduate school to study who is successful and why. In her book Grit she discusses what she found which seems to agree with Coach K on some level. She found a “gritty” person is someone who has a combination of passion and perseverance. IQ did not determine nor a person’s upbringing or background as she studied Scripp’s Spelling Bee participants, West Point students, and at-risk youth she had worked with.

a “gritty” person is someone who has a combination of passion and perseverance.

In her TED talk² in April 2013 she says in order to build grit one must have a growth mindset. This is an approach to experiences and life similar to what Coach K talked about above. When challenges come, what will you learn from them?

As a leader, how do we grow in grit? Similar to how one grows a muscle. . . get uncomfortable. Put yourself in situations that force you to exercise perseverance. Surround yourself with people who have similar passion, but think differently and will stretch your thinking. Bring people in your life who will help you process your challenges and learn from them such as a coach or mentor. Continue to pursue your vision with great passion and never give up just because the road gets bumpy. As a friend of mine once told me about relationships, “enter the mess.” When we enter the mess and stay we will grow in toughness and as a person.

What do you need to do to become tougher at home and/or at work?

Bilas, Jay. Toughness. Penguin, New York. 2013.
https://www.ted.com/talks/angela_lee_duckworth_grit_the_power_of_passion_and_perseverance?language=en accessed Oct. 11, 2016

May

2017

Toughness Necessary for Success

I am not really much of a basketball fan, but during March Madness I tend to watch a game or two. This last March apparently my son had picked the team he thought would win the tournament and he wanted to watch the Kentucky vs. North Carolina game of the Elite Eight.

As he watched the game I was doing some work and then I sat on the couch with him for the last five or ten minutes of the game. The game went back and forth and was a very exciting game to watch, but the team my son wanted to win did not succeed. Although Kentucky played hard and made three 3-point shots in the waning minutes of the game they failed to secure the victory much to my son’s chagrin.

During the post-game interviews the broadcasters observed that both teams played “tough.” Kentucky was continually going hard and trying to get the ball on defense while taking shots on offense even if they were not easy. North Carolina got behind during the second half and pulled out a victory after refusing to let up either on offense or defense. Even though North Carolina was the victor, both teams demonstrated great tenacity.

Where did this tenacity come from?

The late Vince Lombardi once said “The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.” This phrase gives insight into the type of toughness required to be successful. If a salesperson makes one call and then gives up are they being tough? Now the successful salesman will get many “no’s” in order to get to “yes.” This type of tenacity is required in order to accomplish any worthy goal.

Another key for a team or individual to experience success is the discipline to daily practice and prepare at a high level. During the game the commentators discussed how they had heard this North Carolina team had trained harder than they ever had during the off-season. In order to consistently train hard at a high level, one has to have discipline. Discipline to get out of bed. Discipline to not let emotions dictate performance. Discipline to do the work the way it must be done to become the best they can become.

Habits create who we are. Over 80% of what we do is out of habits we form. During the off-season for any sport is when they develop the habits that define the team. Do they work through adversity or do they quit when it gets hard? Do they do the extra rep in the weight room or do they stop when they start feeling uncomfortable? Do they encourage each other and push each other to become their best?

As a person, what type of habits are you developing to help you be tougher? Do you need quotes that will encourage you when you are having a bad day? Do you create time to think and grow yourself and that which you are responsible for? What is one daily habit you need to develop to enable you to reach your goals? Maybe it is a physical habit, social habit, spiritual habit, or a mental habit. Whatever it may be post it below to hold yourself accountable to acting on the habit. Take the first step and press on toward your goals!